woahhhh... it's halloween!
ok, so i figured the last entry was way too long and no one was going to read it, which is probably a good thing, considering i wrote it as soon as i woke up basically... x . x ugh..
so, yeah, basically, going back, hc sucked, badly, and honestly, i think i would have been much better off if i hadn't gone, OR you know, if the stupid group date thing hadn't gotten all dumb and i hadn't gotten uninvited as soon as jake asked kayla. which is a weird thing to happen, but that's kind of what happened. i dunno, i'm still kind of hurt by that, cuz i don't understand how my feelings can get tossed aside without any warning or any talkage to me.. but then again, it's a bit selfish of me to get mad at one of my best friends because he asked a girl that he really likes on a date... i just wish he had at least said something to me before i all of a sudden had to deal with it... and before i all of a sudden got ditched by all my friends and had nothing planned for hc....
anyway, apparently, sam hates me now, and i'm not really sure if that bugs me all that much, because at this point, i just feel that if someone whom i used to think of as a friend made me feel that uncomfortable and gets MAD at me because i felt uncomfortable, well, then he's not much of a friend and my intuition is probably telling me something. so.. i dunno, i'm just really tired of being hated when i try to stick up for myself... or others...
going on along those lines, i dunno. i've realized that to make myself happy, i have to be completely honest with myself and others, and if something is bothering me about someone or something else, the only way i'm going to feel better, is to get it out.. so i've kind of been working on that a lot, and focusing more on my school work, because it's kind of been neglected...
in any case, i'll wrap this up, i have a lot of people inviting me to do stuff tonight, but i think i'm going to try and wrap up some issues that have been going on for years, which is rather sad, but i think it's been long enough, so i'm going to try, i dunno if i'll succeed, but i really don't like how miscommunication seems to ruin so many friendships. i've come to realize that in order to be friends with someone, you have to stop assuming things, and you have to understand them, and understand that if they've hurt you, they probably didn't mean to, and you should probably go ask them about it before you end up blowing stuff way out of proportion... but .. that's just something i've come to realize...
so, yeah, basically, going back, hc sucked, badly, and honestly, i think i would have been much better off if i hadn't gone, OR you know, if the stupid group date thing hadn't gotten all dumb and i hadn't gotten uninvited as soon as jake asked kayla. which is a weird thing to happen, but that's kind of what happened. i dunno, i'm still kind of hurt by that, cuz i don't understand how my feelings can get tossed aside without any warning or any talkage to me.. but then again, it's a bit selfish of me to get mad at one of my best friends because he asked a girl that he really likes on a date... i just wish he had at least said something to me before i all of a sudden had to deal with it... and before i all of a sudden got ditched by all my friends and had nothing planned for hc....
anyway, apparently, sam hates me now, and i'm not really sure if that bugs me all that much, because at this point, i just feel that if someone whom i used to think of as a friend made me feel that uncomfortable and gets MAD at me because i felt uncomfortable, well, then he's not much of a friend and my intuition is probably telling me something. so.. i dunno, i'm just really tired of being hated when i try to stick up for myself... or others...
going on along those lines, i dunno. i've realized that to make myself happy, i have to be completely honest with myself and others, and if something is bothering me about someone or something else, the only way i'm going to feel better, is to get it out.. so i've kind of been working on that a lot, and focusing more on my school work, because it's kind of been neglected...
in any case, i'll wrap this up, i have a lot of people inviting me to do stuff tonight, but i think i'm going to try and wrap up some issues that have been going on for years, which is rather sad, but i think it's been long enough, so i'm going to try, i dunno if i'll succeed, but i really don't like how miscommunication seems to ruin so many friendships. i've come to realize that in order to be friends with someone, you have to stop assuming things, and you have to understand them, and understand that if they've hurt you, they probably didn't mean to, and you should probably go ask them about it before you end up blowing stuff way out of proportion... but .. that's just something i've come to realize...