this post is NSFW or for your brain, probably
Mei: HAHAHA
omg
crying
i am reading badfic porn in chinese
AND THE SLANG FOR KYU'S DICK IS 玉柱
sob
Liz: LMAO
Mei: "jade/beauty pillar"
REALLY???
Liz: TY FOR THAT ENLIGHTENING PIECE OF INFORMATION
Mei: HAPPY TO HELP
So while procrastinating this morning, I stopped by Qmi's baidu bar. And found badfic Qmi porn. In Chinese. And then I proceeded to be torn between TOTAL HORROR and LAUGHING SO HARD I AM UNFIT TO BE INN PUBLIC. See for yourself, guys.
某夜，周考拉搂着满身红印的圭贤亲了又亲，“坏哥哥～”圭贤趴在周觅的怀中摸着他结实的胸肌，“每次都这么用力，小贤怎么去上班啊，腰好酸～’
“谁让你乱动的？我不用力你就不老实！“周觅在圭贤的pp上捏了捏。”
one night, zhou koala wrapped his arms around a kyuhyun who was red all over and kissed him over and over. "bad gege~" kyuhyun sat in zhou mi's lap, lying on his strong chest, "you use so much force every time, how can i go to work? my back hurts~"
"who told you to move around? if i don't use a little force, you don't behave!" zhou mi squeezed kyuhyun's pp.
(11:13:08 AM) tor!: SCREAM
(11:13:11 AM) tor!: HIS PP
(11:13:18 AM) tor!: ZM'S ~STRONG CHEST
(11:13:23 AM) tor!: i like how zm is the seme in china
“恩～哥哥！”圭贤突然把脸埋在周觅怀里，脸红得不行。
“小东西怎么了？”
“人家不舒服…痒～”
"um~ gege!" kyuhyun suddenly buried his face in zhou mi's lap, face red.
"what's wrong baby?" (小东西 = affectionate nickname like "baby")
"i'm uncomfortable...it itches~"
starflower135: I've never heard of it being referred as an itch, but now you mention it....it does seem like that XDDDDD
“痒？这里么？”周觅摸上圭贤的玉柱。
“是…是里面啦～”，圭贤扭了扭腰，小花里面痒的难受。周觅抱住圭贤的细腰，“你不是痒么？我让你更痒！”
"itches? where?" zhou mi felt up kyuhyun's jade pillar (aka dick).
"it's...it's inside~" kyuhyun twisted a little, where inside his flower (aka asshole) it itched so much he couldn't stand it. zhou mi hugged him around the waist. "you're itchy? i'll make you itch even more!"
(porn, zhou mi going "you should let out all your dirty thoughts")
“唔～呀！”不要，才不要！周觅继续着动作。
“5555555”哥哥，人家快撑不住了！
"ahhh!" no, no! zhou mi stopped short (in the middle of fucking kyuhyun).
"fivefivefivefive wuwuwuwu (crying)" gege, i can't stand it!
(porn, zhou mi going "you can be loud" essentially)
“啊～好爽！哥哥，你好坏～你好棒～唔！！唔啊啊啊啊啊！”圭贤终于不顾羞耻的把话都说了出来。
"ahh~ so good! gege, you're so bad~ you're so amazing~ OH!! OHAHHHHH!" kyuhyun finally let the words pour out of shamelessly.
(11:12:11 AM) Elizabeth: T_________T
(11:12:26 AM) Elizabeth: THANK YOU FOR THE SUPER HELPFUL TRANSLATION MEI
(11:12:36 AM) meiface: NO PROBLEM ANYTIME
(11:12:38 AM) Elizabeth: FOR FURTHER SCARRING PURPOSES
(11:12:55 AM) meiface: i live to share
(porn is over, kyu is redfaced)
“我坏么？不过是帮你止痒还有让你把话说出来啊～”
“不跟你好了!”
“哈哈，想反攻？”
“你啊，还是老老实实的当我的老婆吧～”小东西，看你还有没有力气反攻。
"am i bad? but wasn't i helping you scratch an itch and also helping you speak out~"
"i hate you!" (lit: "i'm not going to be close w/ you anymore")
"haha, you want to counterattack?" (turnabout~)
"you, ah, why don't you just be nice and good and be my wife~" baby, we'll see if you still have the energy to counterattack.
ALSO:
(11:19:53 AM) 瀟灑小姐: SCREAMING
(11:19:56 AM) 瀟灑小姐: SCREAMING OH MY GOD
(11:20:03 AM) 瀟灑小姐: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL "ASSHOLE" IN THIS BADFIC?
(11:21:09 AM) 瀟灑小姐: 菊花口
(11:22:02 AM) 瀟灑小姐: ju hua kou
(11:22:08 AM) 瀟灑小姐: CHRYSANTHEMUM FLOWER OPENING
(11:22:15 AM) tor!: SCREAMS
(11:22:16 AM) tor!: SCREAMS
(11:22:23 AM) tor!: CHRYSANTHEMUM...................................................................
(11:22:26 AM) tor!: CHINA..........................................................
(11:22:32 AM) tor!: CAN YOU NOT............................................................................................................................
圭贤已经好几天没睡好了每天都是凌晨睡着不到六点就醒了为此周觅很是郁闷，谁让他家那口子一睡不着就愿意闹腾呢。作为圭贤的男人的周觅顺其自然的成为了哄圭贤睡觉的唯一及第一人选。其实他家小卷毛只不过是需要被好好的疼爱而已。
“唉，这几天工作太忙了，都没好好的抱你亲热亲热了！”周觅搂着躺在他怀里的圭贤。
“你还说呢… …其实哥哥你饿了吧？”
“是啊，我将近一周都没碰你了，当然会饿！而且我还饿大劲了呢～看样子我得多补补！”周觅摸了摸圭贤的菊花口。
“色狼！周色狼！”
kyuhyun hadn't been sleeping well for a week (blah blah blah). zhou mi, as kyuhyun's bf/man/knight in shining armor/blah blah, went to find out what was wrong. it turns out that his little kyuhyun just needed "a good hard loving." (sic)
"ah, we've been so busy lately, i haven't been able to hold you and ~be affectionate~!" zhou mi wrapped his arms around the kyuhyun in his lap.
"for real... ...you're hungry, gege, right?"
"yeah, it's been a week since i've even touched you, of course i'm hungry! not just hungry, but starving~ looks like i have to make up for that!" zhou mi stroked kyuhyun's chrysanthemum flower opening.
"pervert! pervert zhou mi!"
(11:22:43 AM) tor!: can you make an entry about this
I now return you to your regularly scheduled life, now enlightened with new trauma.
(11:04:25 AM) meiface: it's sort of comforting that every language fandom will have badfic...
(11:04:40 AM) Elizabeth: haha IDK IF COMFORTING IS THE RIGHT WORD, MEI
omg
crying
i am reading badfic porn in chinese
AND THE SLANG FOR KYU'S DICK IS 玉柱
sob
Liz: LMAO
Mei: "jade/beauty pillar"
REALLY???
Liz: TY FOR THAT ENLIGHTENING PIECE OF INFORMATION
Mei: HAPPY TO HELP
So while procrastinating this morning, I stopped by Qmi's baidu bar. And found badfic Qmi porn. In Chinese. And then I proceeded to be torn between TOTAL HORROR and LAUGHING SO HARD I AM UNFIT TO BE INN PUBLIC. See for yourself, guys.
某夜，周考拉搂着满身红印的圭贤亲了又亲，“坏哥哥～”圭贤趴在周觅的怀中摸着他结实的胸肌，“每次都这么用力，小贤怎么去上班啊，腰好酸～’
“谁让你乱动的？我不用力你就不老实！“周觅在圭贤的pp上捏了捏。”
one night, zhou koala wrapped his arms around a kyuhyun who was red all over and kissed him over and over. "bad gege~" kyuhyun sat in zhou mi's lap, lying on his strong chest, "you use so much force every time, how can i go to work? my back hurts~"
"who told you to move around? if i don't use a little force, you don't behave!" zhou mi squeezed kyuhyun's pp.
(11:13:08 AM) tor!: SCREAM
(11:13:11 AM) tor!: HIS PP
(11:13:18 AM) tor!: ZM'S ~STRONG CHEST
(11:13:23 AM) tor!: i like how zm is the seme in china
“恩～哥哥！”圭贤突然把脸埋在周觅怀里，脸红得不行。
“小东西怎么了？”
“人家不舒服…痒～”
"um~ gege!" kyuhyun suddenly buried his face in zhou mi's lap, face red.
"what's wrong baby?" (小东西 = affectionate nickname like "baby")
"i'm uncomfortable...it itches~"
starflower135: I've never heard of it being referred as an itch, but now you mention it....it does seem like that XDDDDD
“痒？这里么？”周觅摸上圭贤的玉柱。
“是…是里面啦～”，圭贤扭了扭腰，小花里面痒的难受。周觅抱住圭贤的细腰，“你不是痒么？我让你更痒！”
"itches? where?" zhou mi felt up kyuhyun's jade pillar (aka dick).
"it's...it's inside~" kyuhyun twisted a little, where inside his flower (aka asshole) it itched so much he couldn't stand it. zhou mi hugged him around the waist. "you're itchy? i'll make you itch even more!"
(porn, zhou mi going "you should let out all your dirty thoughts")
“唔～呀！”不要，才不要！周觅继续着动作。
“5555555”哥哥，人家快撑不住了！
"ahhh!" no, no! zhou mi stopped short (in the middle of fucking kyuhyun).
"fivefivefivefive wuwuwuwu (crying)" gege, i can't stand it!
(porn, zhou mi going "you can be loud" essentially)
“啊～好爽！哥哥，你好坏～你好棒～唔！！唔啊啊啊啊啊！”圭贤终于不顾羞耻的把话都说了出来。
"ahh~ so good! gege, you're so bad~ you're so amazing~ OH!! OHAHHHHH!" kyuhyun finally let the words pour out of shamelessly.
(11:12:11 AM) Elizabeth: T_________T
(11:12:26 AM) Elizabeth: THANK YOU FOR THE SUPER HELPFUL TRANSLATION MEI
(11:12:36 AM) meiface: NO PROBLEM ANYTIME
(11:12:38 AM) Elizabeth: FOR FURTHER SCARRING PURPOSES
(11:12:55 AM) meiface: i live to share
(porn is over, kyu is redfaced)
“我坏么？不过是帮你止痒还有让你把话说出来啊～”
“不跟你好了!”
“哈哈，想反攻？”
“你啊，还是老老实实的当我的老婆吧～”小东西，看你还有没有力气反攻。
"am i bad? but wasn't i helping you scratch an itch and also helping you speak out~"
"i hate you!" (lit: "i'm not going to be close w/ you anymore")
"haha, you want to counterattack?" (turnabout~)
"you, ah, why don't you just be nice and good and be my wife~" baby, we'll see if you still have the energy to counterattack.
ALSO:
(11:19:53 AM) 瀟灑小姐: SCREAMING
(11:19:56 AM) 瀟灑小姐: SCREAMING OH MY GOD
(11:20:03 AM) 瀟灑小姐: DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL "ASSHOLE" IN THIS BADFIC?
(11:21:09 AM) 瀟灑小姐: 菊花口
(11:22:02 AM) 瀟灑小姐: ju hua kou
(11:22:08 AM) 瀟灑小姐: CHRYSANTHEMUM FLOWER OPENING
(11:22:15 AM) tor!: SCREAMS
(11:22:16 AM) tor!: SCREAMS
(11:22:23 AM) tor!: CHRYSANTHEMUM...................................................................
(11:22:26 AM) tor!: CHINA..........................................................
(11:22:32 AM) tor!: CAN YOU NOT............................................................................................................................
圭贤已经好几天没睡好了每天都是凌晨睡着不到六点就醒了为此周觅很是郁闷，谁让他家那口子一睡不着就愿意闹腾呢。作为圭贤的男人的周觅顺其自然的成为了哄圭贤睡觉的唯一及第一人选。其实他家小卷毛只不过是需要被好好的疼爱而已。
“唉，这几天工作太忙了，都没好好的抱你亲热亲热了！”周觅搂着躺在他怀里的圭贤。
“你还说呢… …其实哥哥你饿了吧？”
“是啊，我将近一周都没碰你了，当然会饿！而且我还饿大劲了呢～看样子我得多补补！”周觅摸了摸圭贤的菊花口。
“色狼！周色狼！”
kyuhyun hadn't been sleeping well for a week (blah blah blah). zhou mi, as kyuhyun's bf/man/knight in shining armor/blah blah, went to find out what was wrong. it turns out that his little kyuhyun just needed "a good hard loving." (sic)
"ah, we've been so busy lately, i haven't been able to hold you and ~be affectionate~!" zhou mi wrapped his arms around the kyuhyun in his lap.
"for real... ...you're hungry, gege, right?"
"yeah, it's been a week since i've even touched you, of course i'm hungry! not just hungry, but starving~ looks like i have to make up for that!" zhou mi stroked kyuhyun's chrysanthemum flower opening.
"pervert! pervert zhou mi!"
(11:22:43 AM) tor!: can you make an entry about this
I now return you to your regularly scheduled life, now enlightened with new trauma.
(11:04:25 AM) meiface: it's sort of comforting that every language fandom will have badfic...
(11:04:40 AM) Elizabeth: haha IDK IF COMFORTING IS THE RIGHT WORD, MEI