long time posting

[meier_link1st]

Alot has happened in the past couple of weeks. I have left the airforce and ever since that my life is steadaliy going to hell I find my self hiding away form me emotions. trying to keep my self busy so that I don't hurt.I fear that I might have lost the only true friend I have ever had I just hope that she understands some day. I just wish that she would know that i am always here. all of you guys who would read this know what I am talking about. I hate that I had to do it but it was indead needed to be done. i did't want to ruin her life. I know that I would have done it too. It always ends up happing. I just hope in time she and I could talk about it without either of us getting histerical. I miss her more then she knows and it depersses me to know that she has taken it so hard. I wish i could take it all back but I know that it's to late. this is a message for her. Anita I love you and I always well I hope one day you will forgive me for the pain caused. You will always be my first love. I can't stand to lose u Just know I am here.

Forever wanting to be shot in the face
Angelus