Wtf!Naruto fic -- Teams
Wtf!Naruto Verse
Title: Teams
Summery: There were some teams that were more coordinated than others. Back to the Madness
Teams
This was ridiculous.
There were some teams that were more coordinated than others. Kurenai's team tended to show up all at once, so no one in particular got in trouble if they were late. Asuma often had to go hunt down Chouji while sending Ino after Shikamaru. Naruto and Sakura were punctual to Kakashi's dates, even if the jounin wasn't, and no one on Gai's team wanted to be hunted down by their eccentric teacher.
Kanashi's team didn't show up at all. He did all the date setting he wanted, and they all ignored it. Umeko was always training, but she was stationary. He eventually learned to set the place at her usual training spot. There, that was one student.
Kimiariene was always stalking Shikamaru. Everyone was a little amused that they had finally found one thing that he thought wasn't too troublesome to run from. He evaded and outwitted and avoided with the best of the Anbu, while everyone else was too damned amused to hinder Kimiariene, even going so far as to aid her. Kanashi was never able to pry her away from the boy, but he'd managed to set up a deal. Shikamaru would lead her down to the training grounds, and Kanashi and Umeko (without her knowledge or consent) would peel the girl off Shikamaru's tracks. That was two students.
Toki. She was the difficult one. She just didn't care, and no prodding her pride or challenging her skills could manipulate her down to the meetings. She avoided them like the plague, and took her punishment from the jounin without a hint of unhappiness. How irritating.
"You're not a real teacher, and we're not a real team," she'd once spat spitefully when cornered.
That had certainly been annoying. Of course he was a real teacher and they were a real team, no matter how many times Kurenai kicked him out of the ILMSALTM Anonymous meetings.
Despite his best efforts, though, Toki flatly refused to be anywhere near the three of them at the same time. That wasn't to say she wouldn't chase Kanashi halfway across Konoha with murderous intent, and that didn't mean she wouldn't get into bloody fights with Umeko, or that she hesitated to drag Kimiariene off after a particularly idiotic or exhibitionist stunt and break a few bones. "She heals fine in five minutes," she said defensively the first time they'd caught her at it. After that, the only evidence they had that she was still doing it was Kimiariene's claims.
And really, it's ridiculous.
So he promises them all pie if they show up and they do, and it's beginning to look good.
Then Toki takes the blueberry and rubs it all in Kimiariene's face and Umeko add the cherry for good measure, and it all collapses into chaos. Kimiariene is screaming because it burns, and not even her healing powers will get the berry-stains out of her skin and Umeko loses interest and goes to train and Toki decides that Kanashi must need a slice of pie in his lap if he's so sympathetic to Kimiariene -- "You really can empathize better this way," she offers and goes off to do whatever she does. Terrorizing the genin and babies, he bets.
He's left sitting in the hospital with an icepack in his lap and nurses that giggle everything they see him. It's a little annoying, and he's determined that he'll get his team to show up voluntarily again if it's the last thing he does.
Next time, though, he'll offer ice cream instead.
-- Fin--
Title: Teams
Summery: There were some teams that were more coordinated than others. Back to the Madness
Teams
This was ridiculous.
There were some teams that were more coordinated than others. Kurenai's team tended to show up all at once, so no one in particular got in trouble if they were late. Asuma often had to go hunt down Chouji while sending Ino after Shikamaru. Naruto and Sakura were punctual to Kakashi's dates, even if the jounin wasn't, and no one on Gai's team wanted to be hunted down by their eccentric teacher.
Kanashi's team didn't show up at all. He did all the date setting he wanted, and they all ignored it. Umeko was always training, but she was stationary. He eventually learned to set the place at her usual training spot. There, that was one student.
Kimiariene was always stalking Shikamaru. Everyone was a little amused that they had finally found one thing that he thought wasn't too troublesome to run from. He evaded and outwitted and avoided with the best of the Anbu, while everyone else was too damned amused to hinder Kimiariene, even going so far as to aid her. Kanashi was never able to pry her away from the boy, but he'd managed to set up a deal. Shikamaru would lead her down to the training grounds, and Kanashi and Umeko (without her knowledge or consent) would peel the girl off Shikamaru's tracks. That was two students.
Toki. She was the difficult one. She just didn't care, and no prodding her pride or challenging her skills could manipulate her down to the meetings. She avoided them like the plague, and took her punishment from the jounin without a hint of unhappiness. How irritating.
"You're not a real teacher, and we're not a real team," she'd once spat spitefully when cornered.
That had certainly been annoying. Of course he was a real teacher and they were a real team, no matter how many times Kurenai kicked him out of the ILMSALTM Anonymous meetings.
Despite his best efforts, though, Toki flatly refused to be anywhere near the three of them at the same time. That wasn't to say she wouldn't chase Kanashi halfway across Konoha with murderous intent, and that didn't mean she wouldn't get into bloody fights with Umeko, or that she hesitated to drag Kimiariene off after a particularly idiotic or exhibitionist stunt and break a few bones. "She heals fine in five minutes," she said defensively the first time they'd caught her at it. After that, the only evidence they had that she was still doing it was Kimiariene's claims.
And really, it's ridiculous.
So he promises them all pie if they show up and they do, and it's beginning to look good.
Then Toki takes the blueberry and rubs it all in Kimiariene's face and Umeko add the cherry for good measure, and it all collapses into chaos. Kimiariene is screaming because it burns, and not even her healing powers will get the berry-stains out of her skin and Umeko loses interest and goes to train and Toki decides that Kanashi must need a slice of pie in his lap if he's so sympathetic to Kimiariene -- "You really can empathize better this way," she offers and goes off to do whatever she does. Terrorizing the genin and babies, he bets.
He's left sitting in the hospital with an icepack in his lap and nurses that giggle everything they see him. It's a little annoying, and he's determined that he'll get his team to show up voluntarily again if it's the last thing he does.
Next time, though, he'll offer ice cream instead.
-- Fin--