(no subject)
WOAH. I forgot this existed. I have tragically neglected you, my poor poor shitty cyber diary. woe is me.
anyway.
Can't REALLY be arsed to update this, it all seems so trivial these days, however, i'll give it a bez for ol' times sake... here goes:
MY LIFE IS LIKE A (CHEESY) FILM BY AMY STELLA
It all began just over a year ago... stuff happened.. and then last thursday at the party, I met DAVID FIRTH, the one and only. He has a magically wiggly finger and a funny shaped head (this is where the dark dark comedy genius brain resides). Then a 30 year old transexual DRUNK out of her head decided to snot on me as she cried for, what felt like a year, upon my lap... telling me distressing tales of the nastiest kind. It was one of those moments in which there is nothing you can do except be still, patient and used as a tissue. After she left I curled up on Bobert's bed and stared at the wall thinking WHAT!??!!? Being already drunk my emotions were a tad fragile as previously me katie and ruth had demolished many a bottle of cheap wine, cider, red shot and the mother of a shit mix - complete with lumps of hot chocolate powder- sassy. When we bought the alcohol we all had plastic bags on our heads and katie was smoking... in a supermarket... i've never seen that done before. ANYWAY, a few of us from the party went to Welly.. IT'S JUST TOO HOT. I saw Lee and we recollected the old days. It was all very poetic, we whispered about shagging in bransholme and what not, then he asked me if I was single (this is were it becomes a film)... I said "yes, but my heart belongs to bob" in a very dramatic, pissed voice. Just then BOB comes up behind me and we share an embrace of the sweetest and sweatiest nature. Bob asked how I know Lee, who replies- "We once shagged in Bra...." I stopped him and swept Bob away.
So there we were, middle of Welly.. gazing into each others eyes (like the way i'm dramatisng this?) and the music changed to something deeply romantic and dazzling and we confessed our year long 'love' for one another. Mr wingfield took me in his soft yet manly arms and we kissed HURRAH. The world began to spin and my feet came off the floor and... and.. I have to stop writing this cliche, i'm feeling rather nauseous.
BASICALLY the night went on like that... then we walked back to his house.. we were the first there... on went the music, out came the joints, in came the people. Fell asleep that night watching southpark.
The morning following that cheesy night, we decided that maybe it was time we became male-friend and lady-friend. all official like. WARNING: CLICHE FILM MOMENT!
(Picture this)
Newly spoken for girl leaves the house of newly spoken for guy. She shuts the door and once out of view skips up the curbs with a grin on her face the size of a hungry fat man's ideal sandwich. She passes a pub. Music from the kareoke starts up, and a man... probably called Barry, probably wearing fake tan and an open silk shirt begins his rendition of Wet Wet Wet's all time terrible love song... ~I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes....etc~ The girl nearly soils herself at how cheesy the moment is.. and as she laughs hysteriacally walking down the street, on her own, the approaching family of a mother and two children cross over, in fear that the mad laughing lady may abucted the children.
-End-
bye kids xx