The White Rose (Painted Red) (3/6) | NC-17

[meh_forget_it]

White Rose (Painted Red) Part 3

Part One | Part Two

”It is a beautiful country.” Gabriel was truly confused. Country? Where were they? Where was he?

“It is. There are times that I only truly feel safe and comfortable here. This is… this is my home, I guess.” Gabriel felt a sudden flash of longing and regret shoot through him, and had he had breath to loose, he’d have been left breathless.

“Maybe I should think about finding a new home.”

“You’re not going back then?” Back where? Gabriel hated feeling so… alone and ignored. He couldn’t get shake the niggling feeling of disappointment of himself. And the frustration of not being able to do anything other than hear two voices he only vaguely recognised was just making it all magnify.

“Not yet.”

Twenty-Six Years Later

"So who do we prey on in this disturbing country. It's making me twitchy by the way. Ugh. Can you feel the twisted magic? I hate demons, you know. This place is riddled with the slimy little bastards." Veles muttered, making Loki snort in amusement and look at him with a raised eyebrow.

"So we avoid those then. Hunters?"

"Hunters could be fun to mess with. They always seem to get above their station in the end, cocky little wankers."

"Right, well where should we stick to then? Most hunters tend to stay away from larger cities, so maybe those ones are out…" Loki commented lightly… tapping a finger against his chin in thought, then looking at Veles when the God grinned mischievously.

"University towns! Think about it! Even if no hunter is there, we will still have the student morons to pray on! And if something weird catches the attention of a hunter or two, then double-whammy!! I say University towns! Plus, there are hundreds of them!! It's perfect!" Veles exclaimed excitedly, and Loki had to admit that he had a point.

"University towns it is then. Which one first?"

"Yale."

"Why?"

"It's the only one I know?" Veles admitted with a shrug, making Loki look at him and then snicker.

"Yale then."

”Why’d you agree to help me with this?” Gabriel wanted to scream at them. Demand them to tell him what was going on. Tell him what was wrong with him.

“He was the only one that truly understood what I was doing. Why I did what I did. It helps that I also like and respect you.”

“Huh. That’s new.”

Eight Years Earlier

Loki fidgeted next to Veles where they were both sitting, waiting patiently - in Veles' case, not so much his own case - in the small cottage in Moscow. Apparently the first house that Veles had actually ever owned as a God. Not that Loki was entirely sure a God owned anything in the same way that a human would. Veles certainly hadn't paid for it, that was for sure.

Still, they were waiting for Loki's Father to come. And Loki really just wanted to hide away and never consider what it was that Veles had spent the last three years working towards, if only because Loki felt somewhat uneasy. The only thing that actually made him feel at all fine about the entire situation, was the snide little voice in the back of his mind telling him that, in all fairness, his Father had abandoned him first.

"He's here," Veles murmured, attention still held on whatever he was doing and had been doing for the past three days. Loki still hadn't quite managed to ask what it was, but he thought it looked strangely like Veles was holding on to his threat from all those years ago about bringing back the Dodo. Apparently a magical one, just so he wasn't accused of plagiarism. Loki wasn't sure plagiarism of creations was really a concern for most Gods, but didn't feel it was his place to point that out.

"What?"

"Your father. He's here." Loki twitched violently when Veles looked up at him with a wide smile, making the half formed creature disappear from the table with a small wave of his hand. Loki turned to face the door, jumping slightly when Veles placed a hand over his own. "Sheesh, calm down. Not like he's gonna smite you. He'd have done that when I brought it up three years ago if he was going to."

"Not really helping."

"Well, I tried." Loki huffed when Veles just shrugged and then stood up to open the door when there was a knock on it. Loki seemingly had found himself frozen to his seat. He looked up when Veles walked in, followed by his Father wearing a shockingly bright pink shirt and clashing acid green flared trousers.

"Huh, really embracing the hippy thing," Loki said pointedly, not able to take his eyes off of the trousers and having the absent thought that maybe he would go blind and that green would be the last colour he saw. It wasn't a pleasant thought.

"I thought I could brighten things up a little. Veles seemingly never goes anywhere without that cloak, and you have this strange love for beige. Which would make me wonder if you weren't adopted, had I not created you," God said, taking a seat opposte the couch Loki was currently frozen to. Veles snorted in amusement and sat down next to Loki, pinching the back of his neck and causing Loki to give a small yelp as he jumped, glaring at Veles.

"What was that for?"

"I was worried you were going to break something, what with the tension you were giving off. It was alarming," Veles told him, his flat tone giving away that he actually hadn't given much of a damn at all. The sound of his Father's booming laughter made Loki jerk back to giving Him his attention.

"I like you, Veles," God told Veles, getting a smirk from said man. Loki just sighed and slumped in his seat with a shake of his head.

"Good to know. Is that going to work in our favour then? I'm assuming you have come to depart your decision with us. Either that, or yet another random, somewhat vague and highly dangerous task for me to accomplish. Really? Creating Atlantis the underwater city of merpeople wasn't enough for you?"

"That was a stroke of genius on my behalf. How are they going, by the way?"

"Oh, you know, so so. Iyarnach is thriving as the leader, so I feel safe in leaving him to sort everything out," Veles told Him, and Loki smothered the need to giggle hysterically at the utter bizarre situation he had found himself in. Really, he was sitting in a room with two powerful Gods, both with the ability to eradicate his being with barely a thought.

"That's good! I'd have felt a little bad had it not worked out, but I was running out of things to ask you to do to see just how far you'd go to get my approval," God admitted with not an ounce of remorse in his voice.

"Well, you’ve gotta do what you've gotta do. So? New task or have you come up with a decision?" Veles asked. Loki straightened up in his seat slightly when his Father fidgeted and then sighed.

"I've come up with a decision." Loki gaped at his Father, and then closed his mouth an audible click, fidgeting slightly and not completely sure he wanted to know the answer.

"And?"

"I've caused you far too much pain in your existence to ever truly forgive myself of it. One step towards gaining a small bit of forgiveness, if only from myself, would be to agree to your question," God told them, and Loki blinked numbly, not too sure how to respond, "so, you're free. I'm not going to take your grace away from you, I'm just going to hand over control to Veles."

Loki choked on his surprise, feeling Veles fidget next to him and reaching out to grab his hand, "Does that mean - are you saying that I'm - what?"

"Gabriel, I'm telling you that I'm allowing you to completely cross over to Veles' religion. As of now, I no longer have any say in what you do."

"That's…" Loki trailed off, not actually sure what that was. He felt Veles squeeze his hand comfortingly, and looked over when Veles gave a small gasp.

"Oh now, angelic grace. That's certainly - wow, that's one hell of a buzz," Veles said in a breathless voice, making Loki snicker before looking over at his Father.

"Thank you."

"It was the least I could do for what I have put you through. I just hope your brothers will one day forgive me as much as you have."

"Dunno about that. Raphael's still a dick, after all," Loki pointed out. God sighed disapprovingly, but Loki saw his lips twitch in a suppressed smile.

"Perhaps so. Loki, I need to tell you that after I leave here you won't be able to find me again. Don't look for me, and don't hate me when I don't come should you call for me. I'm disappearing for a while," God said softly. Loki looked at him in shock, then turned to look at Veles, who looked just as shocked as Loki was feeling.

"What? Why?"

"I have my reasons, Loki. Just know that this isn't me abandoning you again, one of the reasons I'm doing this is to teach your brothers that they do have their own free will, even if they don't seem to believe so. Knowing that you have Veles to keep you grounded and safe is what makes this decision so easy. I'm sorry for disappointing you yet again, Loki, but you know this has to be done."

"Yeah but - Now?"

"When else should I do it? You'll be fine with Veles, you're no longer one of mine anyway, so you don't need me anymore. You'll be fine, Loki."

"Lo, you can't change his mind on this," Veles told him softly, moving to place his hand on Loki's shoulder. Loki sighed and nodded his head, looking away from Veles back to his Father.

"You're right, I'll be fine. Sorry for not being reasonable about this," Loki said, glancing down to look at his hands in his lap.

"Son, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you understand though," God told him, and Loki nodded his head, looking up when he sensed his Father stand, "Right, I'm going to leave you now. Remember, Loki, don't look for me. You won't find me."

Loki only had time to nod before his Father vanished from the room without a sound. Slumping, he turned to look at Veles, feeling his love for the man grow when he just silently reached across and pulled Loki into a hug.

"Well that sucked."

"Hmm," Veles agreed, nuzzling gently into Loki's neck and pressing a kiss there. "Lo? Welcome to the religion."

Three Years Earlier

Loki considered that his Father needed to work on His clues just a little. Seven years of finally working out what the bleeding hell He had meant when He had rambled on about 'finding the roots of the problem' and the Veles would found 'where it all began', which was total bollocks because Loki had already been to England and hadn't seen one bit of Veles.

So he'd gone by the other clue and he figured his Father would be quite literal in his meanings. Contrary to popular belief, God wasn't all that keen on philosophy and finding further meaning behind the words than is at first apparent. Really, He was more a what you see is what you get kind of being, which explained humans.

Thus, going by the line of thinking, he really shouldn't have tried to work out just what the hell He'd meant by looking deeper into the meaning of the clue. He should have taken it by face value. It wouldn't have taken him seven years to find Veles had he done that.

It wouldn't have surprised him to find himself standing on the edge of a small forest when he had finally found Veles either. Silently cursing his Father for being so damned pedantic, then wincing at the mental flick to the forehead he got for his troubles, Loki took a deep breath and stepped forward.

The first thing he noticed was Veles standing next to two bodies, looking supremely pissed off and less glowy, more haggard than Loki even recalled seeing him. Loki viciously stamped down on the painful flash of guilt that shot through him upon that observation, just knowing that it was quite possibly entirely his fault.

Not that he considered himself that important in the grand scheme of things - he'd like to think he was, but contrary to popular belief his ego wasn't quite that enormous - but given nothing truly terrible had happened since he'd last seen the man, and Veles hadn't even looked this bad when Hiroshima happened… Loki out the clues together. Had his ego been overly large, he'd probably have been able to blame it on someone else, actually.

He watched Veles' shoulders slump and knew the man had just sighed heavily, when he suddenly spun around, dark blue cloak whipping around his ankles as some sort of manifestation of the anger Veles apparently felt towards…

Well, Loki? Life? The world in general. Really, Loki wasn't sure and he was fairly positive that he didn't want to find out. Veles' shocked inhalation snapped Loki out of his worrying musings, and Loki toed the ground sheepishly, not entirely sure he knew what to say now that he had found Veles.

Seven years. He'd been searching for seven years.

Apparently, Gods were brilliant at hiding themselves from people searching for them. Loki was just lucky he had friends in freakishly high places. Or his Father was God. The God. The being that created this whole universe. Sort of. He'd had help apparently. And wasn't that and interesting conversation.

"What the hell are you doing here? Do you not need to run and hide?" Loki jerked up when Veles finally snapped at him, making him realise he'd been getting lost in his thoughts a little too easily since he'd ran from Veles. And that realisation made Loki flinch, cringing slightly when Veles quickly stormed past him, towards the forest. Veles had been right though, maybe it was about time Loki stopped running every time things got too much.

"No. Wait! Aw, come on, Vel! Don't be like that! Let me explain!" Loki pleaded as he hurried after the pissed off God. Though, admittedly, he made conscious effort not to be stray within reaching distance, should Veles spin around and try to punch him. He was delicate! Of course, he was well aware that had Veles truly wanted to hurt him, no distance on earth would have saved him.

Partly why he hid for so long in Helheim.

"You know, Kali warned me of you," Veles spat out at him. Loki flinched and was only partially thankful that Veles wasn't facing him and thus didn't see it. "Seems to think she should take me under her wing or something. She can be a little mothering sometimes. It's rather off-putting. Still, she warned me that you'd break my heart, assuming I have one to break. Safe to say that if I did, I don't have one anymore. Cheers for that," Veles muttered. Loki assumed he was following a trail through the thicket of trees, but Loki didn't actually know as he couldn't see anything. Veles' words penetrated through to Loki's mind and made him cringe as he felt like his insides were twisted at his guilt. Stumbling a little but managing to keep on his feet, he carried on following blindly behind Veles, absently giving a small prayer to his Father that Veles wasn't just leading him to somewhere discreet so he could kill him and hide his body somewhere He had the idea that a God, especially a God of Death may not have a problem with killing him, with or without an archangel's sword.

"I didn't… I had a reason! I - can you just stop for a minute and let me speak! Christ!" Loki shouted, finally finding his voice and getting fed up of not being able to carry out a civilised conversation with Veles. Not that he thought he was capable of such a thing at that moment, but an attempt to try wouldn't have been sneered at.

"Did he exist?"

"Pardon?" Loki asked, gaping at Veles, who had stopped and turned to look at him curiously.

"Christ. Did he actually exist?" Veles asked him. Loki took a deep breath and just stared at the God steadily.

"Does it matter whether he did or didn't? Look, can we please go back to you place to talk? Please!" Loki begged, secretly hoping that his begging would distract Veles from sticking on the topic of Christ. If Loki was being completely honest with himself, even after all this time, his abandonment still left a bitter taste in his mouth. It hurt. Veles stared at him with narrowed eyes before nodding sharply, seemingly seeing some of that hurt still visible on Loki's face.

"Fine. Come," Veles told him shortly, spinning on his heel once more and leading the way deeper into the large trees.

"Where are we?" Loki asked, after having followed Veles in silence for ten or so minutes.

"Socialist Republic of Macedonia."

"Okay… why?" Loki asked, feeling slightly confused as to why they were in a country that Loki couldn't ever think he'd actually been to before. If he had, he wasn't sober enough to remember.

"You'll see," Veles told him, and Loki swore he could hear the damn smirk in the God's voice. Loki sighed and carried on trudging through the bracken of the forest, cursing whenever he tripped on a root, or got caught, "wearing those ridiculous jeans won't help you any."

"You're wearing a damned cloak. I don't see you having any troubles." Loki stated petulantly. He was vaguely aware that he sounded like a small child that hadn't gotten its way, but he didn't care at this point.

"This is my forest. It won't try to stop me. You, on the other hand, have pissed me off, so why would it want to aid you and make this any easier for you?" Veles asked him, dry amusement evident in his tone. Loki scowled at the back of his head, then viciously kicked at one of the roots that looked to be reaching out to grab at him.

"Sure, laugh it up," Loki muttered, then frowned when he realised something that Veles had just said. "Your forest? Where are we in er… Sooo…" Loki trailed off as he realised he had completely forgotten where they were.

"Socialist Republic of Macedonia."

"Right. There. Whereabouts there are we?" Loki asked, eyeing a suspicious looking branch that seemed to have been reaching out for him, before hurrying up to catch up behind Veles.

"Veles."

"I know your name," Loki muttered, scowl just deepening at Veles' seemingly pissy attitude. Not that he totally blamed the man, but still, he was trying here, it wasn't his fault he wasn't being given much of a chance.

"Do you? I had wondered. And I meant the name of where we are. We're just outside of Veles."

"You have a city named after you? How is that fair? I want somewhere named after me!" Loki huffed, still having no idea where he was, and willingly admitting, if only to himself, that he was now lost. And had been since he had finally found Veles.

"You do." Veles told him dryly, making Loki gape at the back of his head.

"Eh?" Loki finally choked out, surely he would have known if there was a place named after him. Admittedly, in Helheim there was a pit of despair named after him, he wasn't entirely sure what Hel had been trying to say when she had created that.

"There is a Gabriel Island near Canada," Veles informed him and Loki's nose wrinkled at his old name.

"That name doesn't count," Loki grumbled, bitter taste forming in his mouth at just hearing the name.

"Very mature. We're here," Veles said, coming to a stop in front of a positively ancient looking tree in the middle of the forest.

"And 'here' is? It's a tree," Loki pointed out, and then flinched when Veles glared at him venomously.

"It's my tree. It grew when I was created. And is the main source of my magic. Tell anyone of this and I will hunt you down and drag you down to the very pits of my underworld with the last dregs of my magic," Veles informed him, making Loki's eyes widen in shock and then for him to nod his head furiously in agreement. He may be a very powerful archangel, but he willingly admitted to anyone that should ask, that Veles scared the shit out of him at times. He was pretty sure it was the glowing skin.

"Right. And we're here because…"

"I haven't been back here for over two centuries. I needed to come back to just… ground myself. I've been a little scatty and just… not very sympathetic to any of the souls."

"Because - is it? Was it-because of me?" Loki asked in a quiet voice, then jerked his head to look at Veles when the God snorted.

"No. Don't be so presumptuous. It was the wars. I lost any kind of belief in my people. Sure it was only really the muggleborns and half-bloods that truly joined the fighting. But it affected all of them. I didn't have any sympathy for the ones that died after that," Veles muttered, scowling at nothing and then placing his hand on the tree. His eyes closed and he gave a sigh of contentment that shocked Loki. It made him twitch with a need to touch the tree as well.

"So it's not my fault?"

"Oh no, I didn't say that. You abandoning me and then hiding and refusing to answer my calls just made it happen sooner than it possibly would have without your tender mercies," Veles muttered, eyes still shut and leaning on the tree. Loki eyed him and blinked as his skin began to glow even more than usual, and more than even some angels did. It was a touch creepy.

"Can I explain why I left and then hid? Before you condemn me to Hades or wherever it is the bad wizards and witches go."

"Hades is Greek. I just have my underworld. Each soul is treated equally no matter their actions. They all end up the same place. I don't give a damn what they really did in life, they ain't gonna be able to do anything once they're dead. And they get a clean slate once they are reincarnated. Prejudice isn't bred, it's learnt. The only thing at fault is circumstance. And no one can change that," Veles murmured and Loki raised an eyebrow at him.

"Interesting view on things."

"Interesting or not, I'm the be all and end all of my religion, so my view is the only one that counts. Right, I'm done. Let's go to my rooms. Then you can explain yourself. And a word of warning. You won't be getting any sugar until I am satisfied with your reason," Veles told him, and before Loki could even form an argument, Veles had dragged him down to his rooms.

Gabriel felt fear flash through him when the voices he had been listening to for what seemed like a lifetime, started to dim and blur, like he was listening to them from under water.

“No! Don’t let go of that!” And Gabriel heard no more.

Seven Years Earlier

"You know, I also sort of knew you were a coward, but you're my father, so I gave you the benefit of the doubt." Loki glanced up from where he was stroking one of the wolf cubs in Fenrir's pack to look at his giantess daughter, Hel.

"What's changed?"

"You hiding from Lord Veles down here for ten years," Hel told him bluntly, moving to sit down next to him and running a large finger gently over the cub's back, making it yip in pleasure as it wriggled in Loki's lap.

"You know, I remember Fenrir when he was this adorable. Didn't last long," Loki grumbled, hissing when the pup bit at his finger to get his attention.

"It shocks me that Fenrir was ever something other than…"

"Feral?"

"I was thinking mange-ridden, but feral works as well. Seriously, Father. Why are you still hiding down here? You're no longer in danger of Falling and to be quite honest, your moping is beginning to give me a headache. I don't get headaches, Father, that's how annoying you are becoming. At the very least, go bother Sleip instead of me."

"And to think I was considering making you my favourite," Loki grumbled, tickling the cub's stomach and smiling weakly when it wriggled and tried to escape his fingers.

"Oh don't lie, everyone knows Sleipnir is your favourite. Well, everyone but Sleip. Not that we care, he's our favourite too. For a supposed monster, he's freakishly adorable," Hel mused, and Loki nodded absently in agreement. She had a point; the eight-legged horse really was adorable. "So, how did you end up giving birth to him? I don't think you ever told us?"

"Alright! Fine! I'm going! I'm leaving you be!" Loki told her hastily, wrapping his magic around him and leaving Helheim with a click of his fingers, Hel's laughter following behind him.

He steadied himself when he appeared where he had run to, looking around and sighing as he felt a sense of calm wash over him as soon as he saw Michelangelo's masterpiece. Really, the Sistine Chapel relaxed him like no other place on this planet.

"I knew you'd show up here eventually." Loki jumped and let out an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp, spinning round to see his Father standing behind him, smiling softly at him.

"Father! Um… what are you doing here?" Loki asked once he'd gotten over the shock of seeing his Father in front of him.

"I was waiting for you to come out of hiding so I could talk to you. I knew you'd come here first when you finally did," his Father explained with a small shrug, moving away slightly to stand at the side of the room, out of the way of all the tourists.

"Why did you want to speak to me?"

"Why do you think? I know why you fled in the first place, Gabriel," God said with a small sigh, and Loki blinked, not really knowing how else to respond. "Gabriel, son, I didn't ever doubt your faith in me, that was your doing. I never would have let you Fall, you have done nothing to deserve it."

"I stopped believing in you. I doubted you," Loki admitted with an uncomfortable shrug, looking over his Father's shoulder so he didn’t have to meet His eyes.

"With good reason. I know what you did during those weeks in Japan. I watched you help Veles. I'd have lost faith in myself as well had I been in your position."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. But if it makes you feel better, I forgive you. I just don’t entirely think there is anything you need to be forgiven for. You are still one of my most loyal children, you know."

"I left," Loki pointed out, keeping his eyes on the ceiling in the chapel, but sensing his Father's gaze on him.

"You did," God agreed, then He sighed and slumped against the wall, making Loki's eyes' snap to look at the man. "Gabriel, I think you need to go and find your Veles. I approve of him, he's good for you and I know I can trust him to watch over you."

"What?" Loki asked, gaping at his Father.

"You heard me."

"I don't know where he is."

"You haven't tried to find him, Gabriel. I think you need to explain yourself to him, before he becomes like every other God and no longer bothers with his creations, leaving it to his lesser beings under his control," God told him, and Loki just knew that the G had been uppercase.

"Huh, so the capital G really is important then?"

"It really is. Find him, explain yourself, he'll understand," God said calmly. Loki just stared at him, and then huffed and tried to sense where Veles was. He wasn't surprised when he sensed nothing.

"I don't know where he is. He's hiding from me."

"Can't say I blame him. If you go to the root of the problem, Loki, then you'll find him where it all began." Loki stood in the chapel, frozen in shock for a good hour after his Father had left him with that last little nugget of information. That was the first time his Father had referred to him as Loki and not Gabriel.

Ten Years Earlier

Loki gaped at where he had reappeared. It was complete devastation. Veles was talking to a group of seven ankou, the only ones left from the camps, the original five having returned back to their own continents. There were several reapers, yamaduts and, of course, shinigami wandering around the massacre as well. Loki swallowed heavily and then hurried over to Veles.

"-going to be some survivors. It doesn't matter anymore whose jurisdiction they fall under. We need to collect the lost souls. I've discussed it with the other Gods here, take them to the Underworld, once there, we can sort out where they actually should be. Just… we need to help them. Calm them down, tell them what they want to hear, keep them as calm as possible. It's - we're going to be here for quite a while." Veles was talking to him ankou when Loki reached him, the God pretty much standing on top of the epicentre and thus in the middle of the devastation.

"What the hell happened here?" Loki hissed to Veles, who was crouching by the charred remains of a small child. Veles sighed and brushed his hand over the skull, releasing the soul. He whispered something into the little girls ear before the soul disappeared with a nod.

"A bomb. They dropped an atomic bomb on this city and well… this is the result," Veles told him with a wave of his hand outward. He then headed over to where a tall man was standing, watching the hundreds of demi-gods collecting souls. Loki could sense the power in the man, but didn't actually recognise him.

"Veles," the man said in greeting, eyes straying to look at Loki and then dismissing him as unimportant, which was somewhat insulting, but Loki wasn't going to say anything about it.

"Izanami. This is - how did we not see this coming? How are we to deal with this? It will take us weeks to collect all the souls of those killed on impact, and the ones that die soon after," Veles muttered. Loki stood next to him as a silent support and watched when another goddess appeared and walked past, several yamaduts following behind her. "Huh, never thought I'd see Mara."

"No, none of us expected to see her. However… there was a POW camp here. It was not just our people that were affected. All religions have been hit," Izanami told him, before scowling and walking towards a shinigami that seemed to be arguing with a yamadut.

"Shit. Lo, we're gonna need your help here, but soon enough your Christian reapers and possibly that angel of death, Azrael? Him, he's gonna be here soon too. What do you want to do?" Veles hissed at him, keeping an eye on an ankou that seemed to be glaring at another shinigami. Loki bit at his lower lip for a few seconds, fully realising just how much shit he could be in soon enough if he didn't get out of there. He really didn't want to leave Veles though and was beginning to feel a sense of helplessness rise in him.

"I don't… What can I do, Vel? I can't stay here if someone who will know who I am arrives. Besides, how will I be able to help? I don't deal in death," Loki pointed out. Veles looked at him, then glanced over his shoulder, nibbling on his lip. Loki couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking, and then pondered if it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing for him.

"Right. Okay, I can make you a temporary ankou. It'll make you able to collect souls and erm… well it'll hide you from the senses of anyone that may know what you once were. Sound good? Because… I really need help with this. I let go most of the ankou I made! I never realised something this catastrophic was going to happen," Veles bemoaned, looking on the verge of a mental breakdown. Loki looked at him with wide eyes and then nodded, not really seeing any other way around it. Not that he minded. Being an ankou could be fun.

"Fine. Zap me. Make me a temporary ankou," Loki told him, feeling he had made the
right choice when Veles smiled at him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Seven weeks of death and destruction. That was what Loki realised he had agreed to when he had said he would help Veles, though he found he couldn't exactly hate Veles for getting him to agree to it. He felt no regret about it either. However, as the weeks went on, he wondered just how Veles had done this for centuries now, and actually understood why the God came across as being completely insane and somewhat dense at times. Loki was beginning to feel that way himself. Only a week in and he'd worked out that making a joke of everything and feeling no other emotion was the only way to get through it.

Loki noticed Veles sitting, slumped over, on a partially standing wall just on the outskirts of Hiroshima. Brushing his fingers across the forehead of the body he had been next to and then sending the soul down to Veles' underworld. Loki then stood up and walked over to Veles and sat on the wall next to him.

"So we can go? We're done with all this… death?" Loki asked him, looking over at him and really hoping for a positive answer to his question.

"We are. Come let's go back to my rooms," Veles told him in a weary voice, placing his hand on Loki's forearm and taking them to his rooms. He conjured the usual bowl of sweets and then collapsed onto the sofa that Loki normally sat opposite to. Loki however, just nudged his feet to the side and sat down, pulling the bowl of sweets toward him as he did.

"Kali appears to have forgiven me for whatever slight she seems to have thought I did to her," Loki commented lightly. Veles shifted to look at him through his half-shut eyelids, making Loki have the urge to fidget slightly.

"Did she say why she's forgiven you?" Veles asked in a mumbled voice.

"Not as such, but I get the impression it was because of you. Or at least, my relationship with you."

"What? Dysfunctional?" Veles muttered, making Loki snort and shake his head.

"Something like that. Vel, you okay?" Loki asked, frowning when he considered just how wiped out and stressed Veles was acting. It made him worry over just how bad this had affected Veles.

"Not really. I just - I want to forget it all," Veles mumbled, then sat up straight on the sofa and glanced at Loki, "I know how you can help me forget it if only for the time being. I just want a happy moment. Plus I feel like I've been bloody celibate for the past three months. Ugh. I need to get laid and you, my loveable little ex-ankou, are going to help me."

"Ex-ankou? You took them away then?" Loki asked, that did explain the strange cold feeling that swept over him when he arrived with Veles.

"Yeah, you lost them as soon as you entered here. So? Willing to break my unintentional period of celibacy?"

"I don't think three months can count as a period of celibacy," Loki commented lightly, then grinned when Veles kicked him lightly, "fine. To the bed."

Loki woke up with a grunt, feeling a wave of agony wash over him. Gasping in pain, he glanced over to see Veles curled up at his side and then bit his lip hard enough to taste blood when another wave of pain ran over his body.

He slid away from Veles on the large bed so that he didn't wake him up as he twitched and flinched with the pain. Closing his eyes, Loki tried to relax enough so that he could find out the reasons for his pain, gasping and giving a small, barely audible pain moan when he found it.

He was falling. The pain was his grace destroying itself.

Making a fast decision, the only one he could think of that wouldn't result in him totally losing all that made him what he was and essentially killed him, Loki carefully climbed out of the bed, freezing when Veles mumbled in his sleep before falling silent once more.

Loki paused by the bed once he was clothed, looking at Veles and cringing when he was hit with another bout of pain. Cautiously, Loki leant over the bed and softly kissed Veles' forehead.

"I'm sorry. I love you," Loki whispered against Veles' skin, then he quickly pulled away and ran from Veles' room and his realm giving himself no time to reconsider his decision.

He ran to the only place he could think of that would help him get himself back to sorts and get his faith in his Father strong enough for his grace to recover once more. Heaven being out of the question - and being a place that wouldn't have helped him anyway - Loki went to the only place that he knew would take him in, even though he hadn't been able to visit there for centuries.

He went back to Helheim and his daughter.

It also had the bonus of being the one place he could completely hide from being sensed by Veles.

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