Love...and....
so this weekend had its ups and it definitely had its downs...but all in all it was a good weekend as far as I'm concerned...
it all started Friday I was home alone all day and I started to think and yes I know thinking leads to overthinking and overthinking leads to bad...so I called Matt around the time he would have been off cause I missed him and I really wanted to talk to him...so he finally gets here about an hour after I called him cause he had to shower and eat...so he gets here and Ralf goes completely insane and runs around the house 9 times before settling down...then matt asks me what i wann ado I tell him I just need to get out and walk or breathe or run or something cause I had been cooped up in the house thinking all day...so I grab my purse and throw on my flip flops and Matt puts on his shoes and we head outside I dunno where I'm headed but I'm on my way there in a hurry...so I start to walk when I hear through the bushes "Megz I love you" it was Jess and I haven't seen her in forever so i get excitd and run towards the road we chat for a bit and then she has to go cause she has to go home and Josh and Justin had to drive back to Toronto that nite...so after they drive off me and Matt continue towards the football field we head up into the bleachers cause I wnated to sit and we started talking about all the shit thast been bugging me lately from moving to school and leaving matt behind to all the shit with Kandy and Rach...then without warning in typical Meaghan fashion I start to cry now this is exactly what I didn't want to do especially in front of Matt but also I swore to myself that I wouldn't let all this shit get to me the way stuff has in the past but it did and I did...but Matt did the best thing in the world...he looked at me and told me not to cry that it would all be ok and then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest and let me cry on him until I pulled away to wipe my eyes...now this may seem like a simple gesture to everyone out there but to me it meant everything because he cares like really really cares about everything that affects me....when I finally pulled myself together it was pretty dark and we came back to my house and grabbed my lighter, my sparklers and Ralf and headed to the backyard and played with the sparklers and Ralf for a bit then we sat and fooled around a bit then came back in the house to "watch tv" and then Matt had to jet cause he had to work on Saturday morning...
Saturday I had to work until 6:30 then matt showed up around 20 to 8 and we headed into Lindsay to see Dukes of Hazzard (i must say its a pretty kickass movie...a few things were off but you can look past them) we met up with matt Krosier and his girlfriend Amanda at Zellers where we had gone to kill time and Krosier had bought 2 lego sets so we headed to the theatre to bulid them...me and Amanda took one and the Matts took the other and ours was of course more complicated and we missed a step so the guys finished first and then they made fun of us for sucking at Lego...but hey what can you do...we were in the theatre and Fez and his girlfriend showed up and were being annoyingly loud and we wanted to hit them and then Stevie and crew showed up too...and Matt engaged in too many convos involvong his ex but I will deal...and then the previews started and the one for the Corpse Bride looks soo good and me and Amanda decided that we are going to see that one with the guys in September we already have it all planned out...so after the movie we were hanging out by the cars chatting (noone broke into the valumart this time) and then we all headed out cause Amanda and her matt were tired...so me and Matt came back here and we were in the living room watching tv and then we ended up fooling around and then we had sex on the couch...but dun worry guys there was blankets down the couch is still safe for sitting...after we finished we were just lying and cuddling and talking about things and matt says "I wish I never had to leave", I responded with "I wish you could stay with me forever",he squeezed my hand and said "noone has ever said they would put up with me forever" I told him that I could and he responds with 'someday" I smiled to myself and tried not to cry at this point...we remained cuddling and Matt asked if I would miss him when I was at school I said of course..the truth of the matter I'll miss him every second of every minute of every hour of every day...by this time we were both falling asleep and it would have been bad news for both of us had that happened so he says I'm gonna take you up to bed and then go home...so Matt walks with me up to my room and then tucked me in..gave me a goodnight kiss and then left locking the door to my house on his way out...it was so hard to fall asleep after he left though I mean he wasn't there to hold my hand and cuddle with anymore...
then there was today...Matt called me around 3:30ish and woke me from my nap on the couch that was a result of lying down and watching the Little Mermaid...anyways he tells me hes at Sobeys and he'll be here in like a minute...he gets here and we were sitting in the kitchen chatting with my mommy and Tim and then I emptied and refilled the dishwasher cause my mommy needed the dishes...but I was watching Matt every now nad then and his eyes never left me for a second even though my hair was a mess, I was in crappy clothes and wearing no makeup god did it make me feel special and gorgeous, and everytime I walked past him he would grab my hand and squeeze it...afterwards we were lying on the couch cuddling and watching tv and tickling each other and talking...he asked me again if I was going to miss him and my answer was "of course haven't we been through this 10 thousnd times?"..then we had dinner and he chatted up my parents and then we were sitting back in the living room and he starts getting his stuff to leave and so i did the only thing I could to stop him I tackled him and wouldn't let go...the tricky bugger got to the door anyways and we were saying godbye on the porch and I honestly teared up saying goodbye to him today cause it will prolly be Friday before I see him again and I dunno why but that seems really far away right now...I love him to death and honestly I miss him before he even leaves this boy is my everything and I dunno what i'm gonna do when I go back to school and hes not around as much...I think the Moffats put it best with "I'm so down when you're not around" but anyways I think thats all for now except goddam I've got it bad for this boy....and I never ever want him to leave ever ever ever
it all started Friday I was home alone all day and I started to think and yes I know thinking leads to overthinking and overthinking leads to bad...so I called Matt around the time he would have been off cause I missed him and I really wanted to talk to him...so he finally gets here about an hour after I called him cause he had to shower and eat...so he gets here and Ralf goes completely insane and runs around the house 9 times before settling down...then matt asks me what i wann ado I tell him I just need to get out and walk or breathe or run or something cause I had been cooped up in the house thinking all day...so I grab my purse and throw on my flip flops and Matt puts on his shoes and we head outside I dunno where I'm headed but I'm on my way there in a hurry...so I start to walk when I hear through the bushes "Megz I love you" it was Jess and I haven't seen her in forever so i get excitd and run towards the road we chat for a bit and then she has to go cause she has to go home and Josh and Justin had to drive back to Toronto that nite...so after they drive off me and Matt continue towards the football field we head up into the bleachers cause I wnated to sit and we started talking about all the shit thast been bugging me lately from moving to school and leaving matt behind to all the shit with Kandy and Rach...then without warning in typical Meaghan fashion I start to cry now this is exactly what I didn't want to do especially in front of Matt but also I swore to myself that I wouldn't let all this shit get to me the way stuff has in the past but it did and I did...but Matt did the best thing in the world...he looked at me and told me not to cry that it would all be ok and then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest and let me cry on him until I pulled away to wipe my eyes...now this may seem like a simple gesture to everyone out there but to me it meant everything because he cares like really really cares about everything that affects me....when I finally pulled myself together it was pretty dark and we came back to my house and grabbed my lighter, my sparklers and Ralf and headed to the backyard and played with the sparklers and Ralf for a bit then we sat and fooled around a bit then came back in the house to "watch tv" and then Matt had to jet cause he had to work on Saturday morning...
Saturday I had to work until 6:30 then matt showed up around 20 to 8 and we headed into Lindsay to see Dukes of Hazzard (i must say its a pretty kickass movie...a few things were off but you can look past them) we met up with matt Krosier and his girlfriend Amanda at Zellers where we had gone to kill time and Krosier had bought 2 lego sets so we headed to the theatre to bulid them...me and Amanda took one and the Matts took the other and ours was of course more complicated and we missed a step so the guys finished first and then they made fun of us for sucking at Lego...but hey what can you do...we were in the theatre and Fez and his girlfriend showed up and were being annoyingly loud and we wanted to hit them and then Stevie and crew showed up too...and Matt engaged in too many convos involvong his ex but I will deal...and then the previews started and the one for the Corpse Bride looks soo good and me and Amanda decided that we are going to see that one with the guys in September we already have it all planned out...so after the movie we were hanging out by the cars chatting (noone broke into the valumart this time) and then we all headed out cause Amanda and her matt were tired...so me and Matt came back here and we were in the living room watching tv and then we ended up fooling around and then we had sex on the couch...but dun worry guys there was blankets down the couch is still safe for sitting...after we finished we were just lying and cuddling and talking about things and matt says "I wish I never had to leave", I responded with "I wish you could stay with me forever",he squeezed my hand and said "noone has ever said they would put up with me forever" I told him that I could and he responds with 'someday" I smiled to myself and tried not to cry at this point...we remained cuddling and Matt asked if I would miss him when I was at school I said of course..the truth of the matter I'll miss him every second of every minute of every hour of every day...by this time we were both falling asleep and it would have been bad news for both of us had that happened so he says I'm gonna take you up to bed and then go home...so Matt walks with me up to my room and then tucked me in..gave me a goodnight kiss and then left locking the door to my house on his way out...it was so hard to fall asleep after he left though I mean he wasn't there to hold my hand and cuddle with anymore...
then there was today...Matt called me around 3:30ish and woke me from my nap on the couch that was a result of lying down and watching the Little Mermaid...anyways he tells me hes at Sobeys and he'll be here in like a minute...he gets here and we were sitting in the kitchen chatting with my mommy and Tim and then I emptied and refilled the dishwasher cause my mommy needed the dishes...but I was watching Matt every now nad then and his eyes never left me for a second even though my hair was a mess, I was in crappy clothes and wearing no makeup god did it make me feel special and gorgeous, and everytime I walked past him he would grab my hand and squeeze it...afterwards we were lying on the couch cuddling and watching tv and tickling each other and talking...he asked me again if I was going to miss him and my answer was "of course haven't we been through this 10 thousnd times?"..then we had dinner and he chatted up my parents and then we were sitting back in the living room and he starts getting his stuff to leave and so i did the only thing I could to stop him I tackled him and wouldn't let go...the tricky bugger got to the door anyways and we were saying godbye on the porch and I honestly teared up saying goodbye to him today cause it will prolly be Friday before I see him again and I dunno why but that seems really far away right now...I love him to death and honestly I miss him before he even leaves this boy is my everything and I dunno what i'm gonna do when I go back to school and hes not around as much...I think the Moffats put it best with "I'm so down when you're not around" but anyways I think thats all for now except goddam I've got it bad for this boy....and I never ever want him to leave ever ever ever