In which I angst.

[megumi_kitten]

I'll put this under a cut, to save space.

I started noticing old couples a lot. Loving, funny, insanely still in love old couples.

I almost broke down in public because of it.

why?

I realize I will never, ever, get to have that.

I will be alone. I won't get the snappy, snarky old guy to laugh and reminise about.

I t hough I'd come to terms with the fac tI'm going to be single forever...but I guess I haven't.

I just get these realizations of just what I have in store for me.

People, friends, family, tell me I'll find someone. That it'll just happen...but I don't see it happening.

I just feel...done. Who wants a broken girl? Who wants a girl still in love with her ex, who wants nothing to do with her?

It's just coming to terms with being lonely. Shurking that feeling that I miss in relationships.

The small things, the sound of someone next to you, asleep.

The feeling of waking up to a person. Just being in a house with someone else, someone you love.

I'm sure it'll get better with time, settle more into a haze of grey that's starting to blur into my life.

But for now, I try not to notice things around me, because it's too painful.