it's farking cold
mother nature is a damn cock tease.
it actually smelled like spring last week with everything thawing a little and then she turns around and bitch slaps us with single digits and snow and gale force frigid winds. frigid like your soul mother nature!
bah.
some day i shall learn that nothing ever goes according to plan if you're expecting it to, and on that very same day i'll learn to roll with the punches and not over think everything and do the things i need to do for me. :) the more you learn, the more you realize you have left to learn right?
i was driving today from the gas station and i was suddenly struck with this incredible sense of my minute existence. i am nothing really, in the grand scheme of things. i'm not saying that to sound pessimistic or depressing or whatever you want to classify that comment as. honestly, in 100 years, no one will remember this journal or the things i've done or what kind of person i was. that's what brought on my earlier comment about doing things for myself. i might as well know that at least i enjoyed them and that i'll have those memories. i think i may be rambling right now but i feel like i had a little bit of a revelation today so bear with me. with that in mind, here's a list of things i happen to believe in.
1. first of all, i believe that god, in the end, will save us all. this has been something i've been struggling with for a long time and as much as everyone wants to laugh--it took me an entire summer at a camp for teens and pre-teens to realize this. i can't even explain how comforted i feel knowing that, and i am thankful every single day for the people that lead me to this point.
2. i believe that as much as it may suck to be single and lonely, there is a person out there who, without a doubt, is your soul mate. i also believe that the same person may not be destined to be your husband or wife, but that we are ultimately connected to people in some way that is beyond our comprehension.
3. i believe in love.
4. i believe that sometimes the best lessons are the ones we are not immediately willing to learn.
5. laughing really does make everything at least a little better.
6. i am an idiot for trying to hide #1 from everyone.
i imagine a lot of you are shaking your heads at this. ah well, i say.
ok, i think that may be everything i wanted to say. stats tomorrow, another lesson, work and then i SWEAR i am going to the gym. i feel like a tub!
~jem
ps--i miss colleena rose!
it actually smelled like spring last week with everything thawing a little and then she turns around and bitch slaps us with single digits and snow and gale force frigid winds. frigid like your soul mother nature!
bah.
some day i shall learn that nothing ever goes according to plan if you're expecting it to, and on that very same day i'll learn to roll with the punches and not over think everything and do the things i need to do for me. :) the more you learn, the more you realize you have left to learn right?
i was driving today from the gas station and i was suddenly struck with this incredible sense of my minute existence. i am nothing really, in the grand scheme of things. i'm not saying that to sound pessimistic or depressing or whatever you want to classify that comment as. honestly, in 100 years, no one will remember this journal or the things i've done or what kind of person i was. that's what brought on my earlier comment about doing things for myself. i might as well know that at least i enjoyed them and that i'll have those memories. i think i may be rambling right now but i feel like i had a little bit of a revelation today so bear with me. with that in mind, here's a list of things i happen to believe in.
1. first of all, i believe that god, in the end, will save us all. this has been something i've been struggling with for a long time and as much as everyone wants to laugh--it took me an entire summer at a camp for teens and pre-teens to realize this. i can't even explain how comforted i feel knowing that, and i am thankful every single day for the people that lead me to this point.
2. i believe that as much as it may suck to be single and lonely, there is a person out there who, without a doubt, is your soul mate. i also believe that the same person may not be destined to be your husband or wife, but that we are ultimately connected to people in some way that is beyond our comprehension.
3. i believe in love.
4. i believe that sometimes the best lessons are the ones we are not immediately willing to learn.
5. laughing really does make everything at least a little better.
6. i am an idiot for trying to hide #1 from everyone.
i imagine a lot of you are shaking your heads at this. ah well, i say.
ok, i think that may be everything i wanted to say. stats tomorrow, another lesson, work and then i SWEAR i am going to the gym. i feel like a tub!
~jem
ps--i miss colleena rose!