A fine day to referee the love lives of fictitious characters
Here in New England, it's obnoxiously cold, and all but the hardiest among us (of which I am probably not one) are consigned to the indoors. I could be cleaning the house, but instead I'm trolling the Internet, looking at what folks are posting about their favorite films, books, and stuff on the Internet.
(And if you think that is stalking, or voyeurism, my goodness, then don't put stuff in a public forum on the Internet. The whole planet can see it, including me.)
When it comes to "Harry Potter," I find a lot of discussion about Harry's deceased parents, Lily and James.
If you follow the series -- and even if you don't, because it is pretty much as inescapable as oxygen in the atmosphere -- you know that Harry has never really known his parents, because the corrupt wizard Voldemort killed them when Harry was still a baby.
Harry's only clues about his parents come from others' memories, which are invariably colored by the bias of the memory bearers. One of those memory bearers is Severus Snape, a teacher Harry doesn't like and who doesn't seem to much like him.
What many "Harry Potter" followers debate is the exact nature of the relationship between the adolescent Snape and Lily, and how that relationship shaped future events in the story.
Many fans criticize Lily for breaking off her friendship with Snape and choosing to marry his rival, James. James is spoiled and narcissistic. He and his friends bully Snape and persecute him for being poor, eccentric, and sorted into a different house at school.
A recurring complaint is that Lily, in her ultimate preference for James, is shallow and to some extent, prejudiced. She sees faults in Snape and his friends, but not in James and his -- and drops the shy and brainy kid in favor of the handsome, popular jock. Many wish she had reconsidered and chosen Snape instead, and think such a choice would have had better outcomes for both of them.
But if Lily is shallow and myopic, why would fans who admire Snape want him to end up with her?
And, if she sees a classmate as a friend, but feels no romantic attachment to him, is she really obligated to date or marry him?
Too often, girls in real life are expected to be "nice" and obliging, even at the expense of their own feelings and wishes.
To the point, then -- if a girl doesn't want to go out with someone, she doesn't owe him that. Even if, like Snape,
-- He's been kind and generous.
-- His life has been cruel and unfair, and he really needs a break.
-- He isn't any more flawed than the guy competing for her attentions.
-- He is hard-working and studious, and earns his own way.
-- He tries to apologize when he messes up.
-- Charming film portrayal by Alan Rickman makes you go, "Was she made of stupid?"
Yes, for all that, a girl should be able to make her own choices. She shouldn't mislead or send confusing signals -- although young people trying to understand their own feelings sometimes do. Her need to be clear and unambiguous shouldn't be any greater than it would be for a male.
Having made a choice, she shouldn't have to apologize for it.
Maybe we don't like Lily's choices. Maybe we feel Snape's rejection, and the weight of his anguish, and want him to have some deserved happiness in his otherwise bleak existence. Maybe we perceive that, for all his faults and insecurities, he will grow into a stronger and wiser person, and wish Lily had witnessed this maturation.
And, perhaps Snape is right, James really is a jerk. (Or, a 'swine,' as he calls him, among other things.) James sure sounds like a jerk. As near I can tell, there isn't much separating James and his pals, as they are defined as characters, from two bullies his son Harry later encounters -- cousin Dudley and classmate Draco Malfoy.
Maybe James is reckless, cruel, and wholly unsuitable as a husband or father, and Lily shouldn't have chosen him, either.
Which still wouldn't obligate her to date or marry someone else if she doesn't love that person.
Maybe, just maybe, the whole crux of Lily's personality shouldn't revolve around which person she chooses to marry, as if she has nothing more to offer as a character.
To define a female character in film or literature solely in terms of her romantic interests -- well, you can't even say it's backwards, because classical literature had plenty of female characters with more substance than that.
But, if this is all the author has to say about Lily, then perhaps she really should be read as being shallow and myopic.
Which, again, would make you wonder why any Snape fan would want him landed with her, in life, or in death -- the only place in the entire story where he finally gets a break.
(And if you think that is stalking, or voyeurism, my goodness, then don't put stuff in a public forum on the Internet. The whole planet can see it, including me.)
When it comes to "Harry Potter," I find a lot of discussion about Harry's deceased parents, Lily and James.
If you follow the series -- and even if you don't, because it is pretty much as inescapable as oxygen in the atmosphere -- you know that Harry has never really known his parents, because the corrupt wizard Voldemort killed them when Harry was still a baby.
Harry's only clues about his parents come from others' memories, which are invariably colored by the bias of the memory bearers. One of those memory bearers is Severus Snape, a teacher Harry doesn't like and who doesn't seem to much like him.
What many "Harry Potter" followers debate is the exact nature of the relationship between the adolescent Snape and Lily, and how that relationship shaped future events in the story.
Many fans criticize Lily for breaking off her friendship with Snape and choosing to marry his rival, James. James is spoiled and narcissistic. He and his friends bully Snape and persecute him for being poor, eccentric, and sorted into a different house at school.
A recurring complaint is that Lily, in her ultimate preference for James, is shallow and to some extent, prejudiced. She sees faults in Snape and his friends, but not in James and his -- and drops the shy and brainy kid in favor of the handsome, popular jock. Many wish she had reconsidered and chosen Snape instead, and think such a choice would have had better outcomes for both of them.
But if Lily is shallow and myopic, why would fans who admire Snape want him to end up with her?
And, if she sees a classmate as a friend, but feels no romantic attachment to him, is she really obligated to date or marry him?
Too often, girls in real life are expected to be "nice" and obliging, even at the expense of their own feelings and wishes.
To the point, then -- if a girl doesn't want to go out with someone, she doesn't owe him that. Even if, like Snape,
-- He's been kind and generous.
-- His life has been cruel and unfair, and he really needs a break.
-- He isn't any more flawed than the guy competing for her attentions.
-- He is hard-working and studious, and earns his own way.
-- He tries to apologize when he messes up.
-- Charming film portrayal by Alan Rickman makes you go, "Was she made of stupid?"
Yes, for all that, a girl should be able to make her own choices. She shouldn't mislead or send confusing signals -- although young people trying to understand their own feelings sometimes do. Her need to be clear and unambiguous shouldn't be any greater than it would be for a male.
Having made a choice, she shouldn't have to apologize for it.
Maybe we don't like Lily's choices. Maybe we feel Snape's rejection, and the weight of his anguish, and want him to have some deserved happiness in his otherwise bleak existence. Maybe we perceive that, for all his faults and insecurities, he will grow into a stronger and wiser person, and wish Lily had witnessed this maturation.
And, perhaps Snape is right, James really is a jerk. (Or, a 'swine,' as he calls him, among other things.) James sure sounds like a jerk. As near I can tell, there isn't much separating James and his pals, as they are defined as characters, from two bullies his son Harry later encounters -- cousin Dudley and classmate Draco Malfoy.
Maybe James is reckless, cruel, and wholly unsuitable as a husband or father, and Lily shouldn't have chosen him, either.
Which still wouldn't obligate her to date or marry someone else if she doesn't love that person.
Maybe, just maybe, the whole crux of Lily's personality shouldn't revolve around which person she chooses to marry, as if she has nothing more to offer as a character.
To define a female character in film or literature solely in terms of her romantic interests -- well, you can't even say it's backwards, because classical literature had plenty of female characters with more substance than that.
But, if this is all the author has to say about Lily, then perhaps she really should be read as being shallow and myopic.
Which, again, would make you wonder why any Snape fan would want him landed with her, in life, or in death -- the only place in the entire story where he finally gets a break.