(no subject)
The internet feels lonely. Where is everyone? I've searched around and found little activity. Nobody on livejournal is posting much. If all of the activity has moved somewhere else, I'd like to know where that is. I'm getting a little annoyed with the state of things. I can find plenty of internet activity having to do with size acceptance, learning to love yourself, and dealing with everyday life being fat; but what I want to find is people talking about weight gain, fattening, and eating. I don't want support for accepting I am fat, I want support for my desire to get fat.
Anyway, much has happened since I last posted anything substantial. I recently returned from my trip to Disney World with Alexis and her family. Alexis is already off again to spend the last bit of summer in San Francisco. We had a spectacular time there, staying in the Dolphin resort. However, I don't want to spend the rest of the night describing our stay, so I'll just say what should be said: I ate until I was stuffed, and then some, at every meal. And, what I never did but should have noticed before: Alexis has gained weight. Maybe I never noticed it because I've spent so much time with her and seen her so frequently, but it hit one day when she was wearing a tight shirt and her belly spilled over her jeans when she was sitting. I distinctly remember the way Alexis looked wearing this outfit months ago when we were still in school. The shirt was not so tight then. It suddenly came to me, and I compared the difference between Alexis now and the way I remember her looking in the past. Of course, later that day when we slipped on our bathing suits it became very apparent. The fact that I caught her prodding and squeezing her fat was another clear indicator. But finally, two days later, it became a known fact. She saw that I had noticed her pinching her fat while we were sitting on a bench, so she came out and said, "I'm getting fat." I told her she wasn't. She argued, no, it's pretty obvious I am. This was followed by silence, as I didn't know what to say next. Finally, I ended the conversation when I said, "Maybe a little chubby. You look really good, though." She gave me a simple "thanks," and that was that. My thoughts came back to this brief conversation again and again. What amazed me most was how plainly she said, "I'm getting fat." Her tone was so matter-of-fact, completely disinterested. It was like she was merely offering an explanation to me for why she was touch her pudge. When she said it, she offered no hint that it bothered her or that she really cared. It was the equivalent of a shrug. It's like she said, "Hm, I'm getting fat... Oh well." It excited me quite a bit, because it sounds like she isn't going to put up any resistance; and of course, I wouldn't mind my friend being a little bigger.
Anyway, with all the food we ate, it's a given that we both gained some weight. The important thing on my part of the story is that I haven't exercised since I've been back home, nor do I plan on exercising for the rest of the summer. It's time for me to relax and be lazy. What's more, I really just want to gain weight!
Anyway, much has happened since I last posted anything substantial. I recently returned from my trip to Disney World with Alexis and her family. Alexis is already off again to spend the last bit of summer in San Francisco. We had a spectacular time there, staying in the Dolphin resort. However, I don't want to spend the rest of the night describing our stay, so I'll just say what should be said: I ate until I was stuffed, and then some, at every meal. And, what I never did but should have noticed before: Alexis has gained weight. Maybe I never noticed it because I've spent so much time with her and seen her so frequently, but it hit one day when she was wearing a tight shirt and her belly spilled over her jeans when she was sitting. I distinctly remember the way Alexis looked wearing this outfit months ago when we were still in school. The shirt was not so tight then. It suddenly came to me, and I compared the difference between Alexis now and the way I remember her looking in the past. Of course, later that day when we slipped on our bathing suits it became very apparent. The fact that I caught her prodding and squeezing her fat was another clear indicator. But finally, two days later, it became a known fact. She saw that I had noticed her pinching her fat while we were sitting on a bench, so she came out and said, "I'm getting fat." I told her she wasn't. She argued, no, it's pretty obvious I am. This was followed by silence, as I didn't know what to say next. Finally, I ended the conversation when I said, "Maybe a little chubby. You look really good, though." She gave me a simple "thanks," and that was that. My thoughts came back to this brief conversation again and again. What amazed me most was how plainly she said, "I'm getting fat." Her tone was so matter-of-fact, completely disinterested. It was like she was merely offering an explanation to me for why she was touch her pudge. When she said it, she offered no hint that it bothered her or that she really cared. It was the equivalent of a shrug. It's like she said, "Hm, I'm getting fat... Oh well." It excited me quite a bit, because it sounds like she isn't going to put up any resistance; and of course, I wouldn't mind my friend being a little bigger.
Anyway, with all the food we ate, it's a given that we both gained some weight. The important thing on my part of the story is that I haven't exercised since I've been back home, nor do I plan on exercising for the rest of the summer. It's time for me to relax and be lazy. What's more, I really just want to gain weight!