10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage Is Wrong.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans
"Thank you for reminding us to obey God's Law. I have
learned a great deal from you and understand why you
support a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex
marriage. As you said, "In the eyes of God marriage is
based between a man a woman."
I try to share your knowledge with as many people as I
can. When someone tries to defend homosexual
relationships, I simply remind them that Leviticus
18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of
debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
some other elements of God's Law and how to follow
them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this
applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you
clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman
while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness -
Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have
tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, it
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The
problem is with my neighbors. They claim the odor is
not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put
to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself,
or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a
lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of
abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar
of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit
that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be
20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed,
including the hair around their temples, even though
this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should
they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a
dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by
planting two different crops in the same field, as
does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He
also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
whole neighborhood together to stone them as per Lev. 24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws?
11. I would like to take on a second wife and maybe a
few concubines, if I can scrape enough money together.
Are you proposing an amendment to ban compulsory
monogamy?"