rambling
im really sad, mad, angry, upset, etc... all at once right now. i dont know what to do. the only thing i wanna do is scream and yell and make her fucking realize what she is doing to herself and her family. i dunno what the hell to do right at the moment. im at a lose... there is nothing anyone can do. im going to write her a letter and mail it when i get back to auburn, but i know that wont make a difference. she will just cry and think i dont love her and then be back to her same ways in like 3 days. im just so angry at her and that isnt the way it should be...but this has been going on for 7 years now... and nothing has helped in the past so nothing is going to help now. its a lost cause..but i refuse to give up on it. there must be something we can do to help her..to get her to realize.. but in reality there is nothing. i just cried for the first time in weeks..and its sad that it was over this. i cant take this anymore. everytime i see her i just wanna throw up..i wanna just yell at her for being the way she is. does she not realize it or something..? agh.. im just working myself up again for something i cant control..and yet she wonders why i have issues with self image and eating.. look at what is in front of me.....
*megs*
*megs*