offf
why is life always trying to kick my ass, and make me miserable? why when things start going right does everyone have to nitpick and mess up every little level of comfort i have.
it really throws me off balance and just makes me want to cry. i am a person who is slow to adjustment. i need to deal with things in my own time. i notice i have become more touchy, and less tolerant of everyday things, especially the attitudes of others. i find myself going off at people in times where i would usually be able to maintain composure and either ignore or handle the situation calmly. this may be somewhat healthy though (having a release), as i have always been on to hold in too much. i may just be on edge because of the stress of moving.
But it pisses me off to have everyone on my back all the time, just leave me alone. i dont want to get yelled at because i dont put a song on fast enough or that i'm not around enough, or be given a guilt trip about moving out (its not like i am 16, i dont think 23 is too soon to do that, do you?)
ive also been very possesive lately. i want my own stuff, my own social life, my own time. and it seems everything that i have gets taken away. my room, my friends, soon to be my car and my computer. i dont want to be a lonely hermit anymore. i have already done that and can tell you it isnt fun.
it all seems to come down to having no control...its always the control. i'm not sure why i need so much assurance that things will be ok, i guess i have been screwed over by people in the past, and i dont like to let myself trust anyone or anything but myself.
i hope having my own space helps a liittle. or i dont know what will happen.
it really throws me off balance and just makes me want to cry. i am a person who is slow to adjustment. i need to deal with things in my own time. i notice i have become more touchy, and less tolerant of everyday things, especially the attitudes of others. i find myself going off at people in times where i would usually be able to maintain composure and either ignore or handle the situation calmly. this may be somewhat healthy though (having a release), as i have always been on to hold in too much. i may just be on edge because of the stress of moving.
But it pisses me off to have everyone on my back all the time, just leave me alone. i dont want to get yelled at because i dont put a song on fast enough or that i'm not around enough, or be given a guilt trip about moving out (its not like i am 16, i dont think 23 is too soon to do that, do you?)
ive also been very possesive lately. i want my own stuff, my own social life, my own time. and it seems everything that i have gets taken away. my room, my friends, soon to be my car and my computer. i dont want to be a lonely hermit anymore. i have already done that and can tell you it isnt fun.
it all seems to come down to having no control...its always the control. i'm not sure why i need so much assurance that things will be ok, i guess i have been screwed over by people in the past, and i dont like to let myself trust anyone or anything but myself.
i hope having my own space helps a liittle. or i dont know what will happen.