(no subject)
Trust is taken for granted when we're children. We have a healthy suspension of disbelief as we learn about the world, and it's intricacies, and it's inconsistencies. We will exercise our ability to doubt, if a grown up or some knowledgeable (see: older) kid pushes the truth too far.
My older bother told me, before we moved from our trailer to our house, that we were going to cut down the walls and take them with us. I approached my mom with a butter knife, asking her if I could help her cut the walls down. She laughed and took my picture. I was three years old.
But what I'm really talking about is belief. We lose the ability to believe in people at will -- at least I did. A healthy dose of skepticism.
The world is full of people who want to validate their fallacies by convincing other people that lies are truth -- that the subjective is really objective in the right light. That thoughtfulness is synonymous with Naivety. Fuck these people.
Bill O'Reilly once asked David Letterman if he wanted the U.S. Troops in Iraq to fail. Letterman danced around the question. Bill tried to corner him, saying it was just a simple question. Letterman said "It's not a simple question, if you're thoughtful." I wanted to have a million of Letterman's babies, in that moment.
Trust is different than belief. The two are intertwined, which is likely what has gotten me so side-tracked in this trust-focused mind canoodle.
Trust is an exercise in self-safety. I extend a certain amount of trust to people at no charge. I often trust that no one is going to steal valuable things from my car. I feel better about the world, when I can leave my car-doors unlocked or the windows down.
Trust in close personal relationships is different. Free trust is just a default setting. Earned trust is a rarity. I wonder if I really know much about it -- I thought I did a year ago. I know so much more now.
Danny and the Deep Blue Sea taught me things about trust. I learned what it's like to take potentially life altering risks, and come out the other side fearless.
I learned that I have a well of anger inside of me, that I get to tap whenever I please. I realized that I use anger to communicate, when my feelings are too embarrassing. When I'm so frustrated it hurts in my spine, I tell people I am failing by throwing a punch at some nearby hard object. When I beg someone to stop talking, and they don't, I open the floodgate and shut them down. I use anger to get what I need, when I fail to get it by conventional, non-destructive methods.
I worried that Danny and the Deep Blue Sea would destroy my friendship with my friend. I worried that it would complicate her marriage. I worried that it would damage my friendship with her husband. Because of trust, though -- because I could be someone different in rehearsal, without shame, and then put it away -- we came through. We are better friends for this experience.
The strength of a trust is grown or shrunken with every test. I am beginning to develop, now, relationships that will outlast my time on this earth. What will Trust look like when I am forty years old?
My older bother told me, before we moved from our trailer to our house, that we were going to cut down the walls and take them with us. I approached my mom with a butter knife, asking her if I could help her cut the walls down. She laughed and took my picture. I was three years old.
But what I'm really talking about is belief. We lose the ability to believe in people at will -- at least I did. A healthy dose of skepticism.
The world is full of people who want to validate their fallacies by convincing other people that lies are truth -- that the subjective is really objective in the right light. That thoughtfulness is synonymous with Naivety. Fuck these people.
Bill O'Reilly once asked David Letterman if he wanted the U.S. Troops in Iraq to fail. Letterman danced around the question. Bill tried to corner him, saying it was just a simple question. Letterman said "It's not a simple question, if you're thoughtful." I wanted to have a million of Letterman's babies, in that moment.
Trust is different than belief. The two are intertwined, which is likely what has gotten me so side-tracked in this trust-focused mind canoodle.
Trust is an exercise in self-safety. I extend a certain amount of trust to people at no charge. I often trust that no one is going to steal valuable things from my car. I feel better about the world, when I can leave my car-doors unlocked or the windows down.
Trust in close personal relationships is different. Free trust is just a default setting. Earned trust is a rarity. I wonder if I really know much about it -- I thought I did a year ago. I know so much more now.
Danny and the Deep Blue Sea taught me things about trust. I learned what it's like to take potentially life altering risks, and come out the other side fearless.
I learned that I have a well of anger inside of me, that I get to tap whenever I please. I realized that I use anger to communicate, when my feelings are too embarrassing. When I'm so frustrated it hurts in my spine, I tell people I am failing by throwing a punch at some nearby hard object. When I beg someone to stop talking, and they don't, I open the floodgate and shut them down. I use anger to get what I need, when I fail to get it by conventional, non-destructive methods.
I worried that Danny and the Deep Blue Sea would destroy my friendship with my friend. I worried that it would complicate her marriage. I worried that it would damage my friendship with her husband. Because of trust, though -- because I could be someone different in rehearsal, without shame, and then put it away -- we came through. We are better friends for this experience.
The strength of a trust is grown or shrunken with every test. I am beginning to develop, now, relationships that will outlast my time on this earth. What will Trust look like when I am forty years old?