thats what you get for dreaming
For once in my life I wish things would go the way I wanted them to. I'll never get what I want, and this makes me wish I had no feelings left in my body, that way I never would have to experience any pain, or dissapointment, or even happiness, because at the end of everything good comes bad. Without the happiness I wouldn't have to go through the downward spiral once again where everything goes from good to shitty. All I can wish for is how it once was, knowing it wont ever again be like that. Then again, maybe it never really was like how I remember it. Its just my memory making me want to believe it was once real, and good, in reality it was all a scheme, I was a joke, the whole thing was a joke, I just wanted to believe it so badly that I let myself think this was different. I want to say I have learned my lesson but I know it would be a lie to myself because its like an endless cycle I always seem to get caught in. I will try not to get trapped from now on, and I will make my body emotionless once again.