intense
wow . . . i really have no idea where to start with this journal entry. At the moment everything is just so over whelming.
I just got back from andrew polich's house warming party... That was an event. Almost every teacher that i had at fatima was there and of course chris, declan, and paul who showed up fashionably late (4 hrs late). Meg showed up for a little bit. It was so sad to say goodbye to her cause i have gone to school wiht her since 3rd grade. I have no words that could sum her up. . . she is my favorite i guess you could say.
Last saturday natalie left me and krystal for wazoo. God, i tried so hard not to cry. I did pretty well, meaning i held it back till the car started to drive off and then i chased it down the street to give nat one last hug.
Ben left of wednesday but i really said my goodbyes to him the week before when he visited me at work. I would have gone to his little gathering on tuesday but i figured that i didn't want my goodbye to be me crying and ya........
i talked to my dad on the phone last night for the first time in 3 weeks . . . it was better then i thought it would be but i am still not ready to talk in our usual 3 hour convo mode.
the weirdest and most hurtful thing that anyone could have ever said to me was said to me last night . . .
"your step father and i have worked so hard and everything that you hate about your father is what you are. the choices that you make and just who you are is your father whether or not you believe it . . . its sad that i don't really know you"
that was my moms way of saying that i am a fuck up and that she basically thinks that everything that i have spent so hard working towards was a waste because i just want to get involved in the "industry" to "spite" her.
i can't even put into words how cold her voice sounded when she said that . . . how do you respond to something like that?