The sailor's curse
Like most grocery stores, Giant stocks its own house brand of most things. Today as I was shopping for party supplies, I noticed that there was a Giant brand of tortilla chips. They are called Festingos.
I know what they were going for -- Festingos sounds like 'festival' and also like 'fiesta', which are good associations. And the 'o' on the end sounds sort of like Doritos, a similar product. But to me, 'Festingos' sounds like some sort of tropical disease caught by sailors.
(Crew of ship gathers around moaning, writhing sailor.)
Ship's Mate: What's wrong with Smithson?
Captain: Yar, can you no see it's the festingos?
ALL (drawing back in horror): The festingos!
Captain (grimly): Aye, the festingos. Did I not tell ye all to keep your distance from yon dusky island women?
Ship's Mate: What do we do now, captain?
Captain: Roll him in coal dust and tie him to the mast. If he's still alive when we get to Bermuda, he might make it.