I'm trying not to be some kind of permanently exhausted pigeon
Oliver is one month old now!
This month has (so far) been all about figuring out Oliver's cycles. I posted a few weeks ago about his "Witching Hour." That has continued and was much more intense last night. From about 8:30 - 11:15, we were struggling to help our little one fall asleep. I nursed him twice in that time but to no avail. Finally, as we were nearing 11pm, exhausted from the endless fuss and screams, I got Oliver calm, drowsy, but awake. In that moment, I remembered something I read about "always putting the baby down in their bed drowsy awake." So I thought, Ok - let's try this... I know he's not hungry, I just changed his diaper, I'm pretty sure he's as tired as I am. Let's put him in his little bed in our dark room with the fan blowing for white noise. Sure enough, I put him down and he made some noises but no more shrieks or screams. I'm pretty sure we were all tuckered by 11:15pm.
And up again at 5am. Not too bad of a night's sleep. Jeff and I talked this morning about switching up our night time routine for Oliver. What has been happening is I would nurse him a little after 8pm and he'd fall asleep and mostly stay asleep except his moments of screaming fuss during the witching hour. But Jeff would just hold him and help him go back to sleep while I got a few hours in before his next feed. Well, his next feed wouldn't happen until early morning (anywhere from 1 - 3am). Jeff wanted to do this to help out and let me sleep before those late night/early morning feeds. But last night was a real struggle. I decided we need to watch his cues earlier because twice either Jeff or I ALMOST had him asleep in our arms and then he'd startle awake and scream in our faces.... I wonder if he was just sick of being held. I wonder if he just wanted to be in his bed. CHANGE UP! We'll try the new routine tonight.
I also started giving Oliver a bath every night. Before it was just every other night and if I missed one of those nights, I didn't stress because I know babies aren't dirty! But I discovered quickly that Oliver started enjoying his baths. He's very calm in the water. That was not the case at first! He would scream the entire time in the those first weeks! But now that he likes it, I like it too and it's another way to bond with him and get him calm for the night. I give him a bath now either before or after Audrey's shower in the 7 o'clock hour. What is sometimes tricky is being with Audrey during her nighttime routine - I don't want to loose that bonding time with her either. Jeff and I alternate nights with her - some nights it's easy because Oliver is sleeping already. Other nights, it's really stressful for me because I can hear Oliver shrieking at Jeff in the other room because he's either tired or hungry and Jeff is trying to soothe him so I can read, say prayers, sing a song, and tuck Audrey in as part of her routine. I wonder if I should just close Audrey's door and turn on her sound machine during our reading time.... that may help drown out Oliver's fuss and help me concentrate on Audrey. Because I find I'm a lot more quick tempered with her if Oliver is screaming. She just doesn't move fast enough in those moments and that's not fair to her.
The big thing for me right now is flexibility. I don't want to get into a routine and then get pissed when it changes. For example, one thing that had been happening several days in a row was I would have some time to myself in the morning after Oliver's second feeding, around 5:30/6am. I would read my Bible and practice my handwriting. I found myself getting disheartened when either Jeff or Audrey would emerge during that time because that signaled a "kick it in gear" mentality to help get everyone out the door for school on time. It was kinda stressful. Well, I decided to stop those handwriting challenges and just go with the flow. If I had a few extra minutes, I'd read one of the books I'm working on finishing for my book challenge - I could bookmark that at any time. As for the handwriting, eh... This is my second month and it has been more time consuming than I preferred. Yesterday's prompt for the handwriting challenge was "Short Story" and I found myself stressing about that! I wanted my story to be a good short story but I had writer's block.... so that's when I decided, sod it. I'm going to take a break from all that. Maybe once in a while I'll work on it and on my terms. I'm not quitting, I'm just reprioritizing.
Day times have been pretty good. I'm following another idea I read about the "eat/play/sleep" routine for babies. Yesterday was a good day with that routine. I was able to read Oliver's tired signs and start helping him sleep after some good awake time. He averaged an hour of awake time from the start of feeding. Then he'd get a little mellow or drowsy. Thankfully, I caught him before he got to the fussy stage. I held him or we ended up in the car for his naps - twice yesterday. First time was for lunch at IKEA (*happy face*) and second time was for a quick errand to Target. Otherwise, he fell asleep on me and I either moved him to another sleeping spot or cuddled the heck out of him as he slept! Those times will not last forever so when I get a chance, I take it! I felt good about his naps yesterday but want to eventually try harder to get him napping in his own bed - not in my arms. All in good time... I'm not in that much of a rush with that one!
Nursing has been good too. He doesn't nurse as long as I remember Audrey nursing. She would go for 30 - 45 minutes. Oliver averages 15 - 20 minutes with a rare 30 minute feed here or there (and that one is usually when he's drowsy and falling asleep anyway!). I still wake him during the day to nurse but have stretched the time if he's sleeping. I used to wake him so he'd nurse every two hours no matter what. Now, if he's asleep, I'll only wake him if it's pushing 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feeds during the day. At night, Oliver still calls the shots and this week has been consistently sleeping between 5 - 7 hours during his long stretch. I'm also learning not to jump up at every little sound he makes. He's a noisy sleeper! If he's working on a poop, he'll grunt and sometimes squeal until it's out. Those wake me but once I hear his little fart followed by silence, I go back to sleep along with him. I will, however, get him up if he has already slept that 5 - 7 hours and I'm feeling engourged. I don't feel back about encouraging the waking at that point and if he's really still tired, he goes right back to sleep anyway.
In conclusion, I'm trying to do whatever keeps me sane. And well rested...
I
So far... pretty good.
Pretty... pretty........ pretty good.
This month has (so far) been all about figuring out Oliver's cycles. I posted a few weeks ago about his "Witching Hour." That has continued and was much more intense last night. From about 8:30 - 11:15, we were struggling to help our little one fall asleep. I nursed him twice in that time but to no avail. Finally, as we were nearing 11pm, exhausted from the endless fuss and screams, I got Oliver calm, drowsy, but awake. In that moment, I remembered something I read about "always putting the baby down in their bed drowsy awake." So I thought, Ok - let's try this... I know he's not hungry, I just changed his diaper, I'm pretty sure he's as tired as I am. Let's put him in his little bed in our dark room with the fan blowing for white noise. Sure enough, I put him down and he made some noises but no more shrieks or screams. I'm pretty sure we were all tuckered by 11:15pm.
And up again at 5am. Not too bad of a night's sleep. Jeff and I talked this morning about switching up our night time routine for Oliver. What has been happening is I would nurse him a little after 8pm and he'd fall asleep and mostly stay asleep except his moments of screaming fuss during the witching hour. But Jeff would just hold him and help him go back to sleep while I got a few hours in before his next feed. Well, his next feed wouldn't happen until early morning (anywhere from 1 - 3am). Jeff wanted to do this to help out and let me sleep before those late night/early morning feeds. But last night was a real struggle. I decided we need to watch his cues earlier because twice either Jeff or I ALMOST had him asleep in our arms and then he'd startle awake and scream in our faces.... I wonder if he was just sick of being held. I wonder if he just wanted to be in his bed. CHANGE UP! We'll try the new routine tonight.
I also started giving Oliver a bath every night. Before it was just every other night and if I missed one of those nights, I didn't stress because I know babies aren't dirty! But I discovered quickly that Oliver started enjoying his baths. He's very calm in the water. That was not the case at first! He would scream the entire time in the those first weeks! But now that he likes it, I like it too and it's another way to bond with him and get him calm for the night. I give him a bath now either before or after Audrey's shower in the 7 o'clock hour. What is sometimes tricky is being with Audrey during her nighttime routine - I don't want to loose that bonding time with her either. Jeff and I alternate nights with her - some nights it's easy because Oliver is sleeping already. Other nights, it's really stressful for me because I can hear Oliver shrieking at Jeff in the other room because he's either tired or hungry and Jeff is trying to soothe him so I can read, say prayers, sing a song, and tuck Audrey in as part of her routine. I wonder if I should just close Audrey's door and turn on her sound machine during our reading time.... that may help drown out Oliver's fuss and help me concentrate on Audrey. Because I find I'm a lot more quick tempered with her if Oliver is screaming. She just doesn't move fast enough in those moments and that's not fair to her.
The big thing for me right now is flexibility. I don't want to get into a routine and then get pissed when it changes. For example, one thing that had been happening several days in a row was I would have some time to myself in the morning after Oliver's second feeding, around 5:30/6am. I would read my Bible and practice my handwriting. I found myself getting disheartened when either Jeff or Audrey would emerge during that time because that signaled a "kick it in gear" mentality to help get everyone out the door for school on time. It was kinda stressful. Well, I decided to stop those handwriting challenges and just go with the flow. If I had a few extra minutes, I'd read one of the books I'm working on finishing for my book challenge - I could bookmark that at any time. As for the handwriting, eh... This is my second month and it has been more time consuming than I preferred. Yesterday's prompt for the handwriting challenge was "Short Story" and I found myself stressing about that! I wanted my story to be a good short story but I had writer's block.... so that's when I decided, sod it. I'm going to take a break from all that. Maybe once in a while I'll work on it and on my terms. I'm not quitting, I'm just reprioritizing.
Day times have been pretty good. I'm following another idea I read about the "eat/play/sleep" routine for babies. Yesterday was a good day with that routine. I was able to read Oliver's tired signs and start helping him sleep after some good awake time. He averaged an hour of awake time from the start of feeding. Then he'd get a little mellow or drowsy. Thankfully, I caught him before he got to the fussy stage. I held him or we ended up in the car for his naps - twice yesterday. First time was for lunch at IKEA (*happy face*) and second time was for a quick errand to Target. Otherwise, he fell asleep on me and I either moved him to another sleeping spot or cuddled the heck out of him as he slept! Those times will not last forever so when I get a chance, I take it! I felt good about his naps yesterday but want to eventually try harder to get him napping in his own bed - not in my arms. All in good time... I'm not in that much of a rush with that one!
Nursing has been good too. He doesn't nurse as long as I remember Audrey nursing. She would go for 30 - 45 minutes. Oliver averages 15 - 20 minutes with a rare 30 minute feed here or there (and that one is usually when he's drowsy and falling asleep anyway!). I still wake him during the day to nurse but have stretched the time if he's sleeping. I used to wake him so he'd nurse every two hours no matter what. Now, if he's asleep, I'll only wake him if it's pushing 2 1/2 to 3 hours between feeds during the day. At night, Oliver still calls the shots and this week has been consistently sleeping between 5 - 7 hours during his long stretch. I'm also learning not to jump up at every little sound he makes. He's a noisy sleeper! If he's working on a poop, he'll grunt and sometimes squeal until it's out. Those wake me but once I hear his little fart followed by silence, I go back to sleep along with him. I will, however, get him up if he has already slept that 5 - 7 hours and I'm feeling engourged. I don't feel back about encouraging the waking at that point and if he's really still tired, he goes right back to sleep anyway.
In conclusion, I'm trying to do whatever keeps me sane. And well rested...
I
So far... pretty good.
Pretty... pretty........ pretty good.