(no subject)
it's amaxing what being kind of drunk can reveal to you. not that i encourage being drunk to discover your self. me being the prime example. i rarely drink to the point of getting drunk... but it is amzing what being drunk can do... i was at a kareoke bar tonight with some poeple that i have known since i was in like what, junior high, they for the most part are older than me... all of them originally my brothers friends but since i have gotten older and am able to go out with them now... they have become some dear friends... even though i have known the majority of them for a considerable number of years now i still can never act like my true self around them. i'm always the little innocent virgin sister. they protect me when i'm with them and are always very considerate, i feel very safe around them.... that being said... like i said earlier... i can never act like myself around them, or i don't think i'm acting like myself, and i feel like i have to give them glimpses into the real me every now and then... and usually while being a little inebriated. so when i act like that later and i'm not drunk it's not shock. i think many of them would be bewildered, confused and shocked by who i actually am. which is sad to say on my part. but you have to remember... they are working of memories of little me... not adult me. the only time i have gotten completely trashed around them was my birthday. however tonight is a different story... though i am not trashed i am drunk... and the sad thing is i was acting more like myself being totally drunk and the truth is by nature i am a truly random and crazy person... not on a wierd oh my god i don't want to be around her kind of way ( at least i don't think so )... but they were all saying that i was fun... if i could just break out of my bubble that only includes jessica and robin and usually only those two.... sad times... you must forgive my misspellings and run on sentences.. i'm still drunk and when i read this in the morning i will probably delete it.... oh well....