don't read if you plan on telling me this is just for attention
post dream thoughts: this is a journal entry from a few days ago.
i thought about kevin first. i thought about kevin before i thought about my family. i thought about him laying on his bed wondering if he'll ever be funny again. in the years to come he'd skip a favor house atlantic when it played on his limewire, but he'd never get around to deleting it. i thought about cole too. cole would look away from whoever told him and say "damn..." but that would be it. he wouldn't cry, but from time to time he thought about me when he heard beast of burden, and this made him mad at me cause i ruined such an important song. i thought about deming of course. whether or not it was true deming told everyone she was fine, because that's what she does. she told taylor what happened, then pretty much never talked to him again. she actually stopped watching horror movies cause death started to make her nervous. i thought about analy too. i thought abuot those kids who didn't know my name who went home and told their moms "my friend killed herself last night" cause that's what everyone does when there's a "tragedy" in a small town. my paycheck sat in tracey's drawer next to ryan and mandi's and that picture of travis that deming and i like so much [haha]. tom remembered me forever because whisteling down the wind was playing on loop when it happened because i knew [and believe it to be very true] that there is no song more perfect that that one to sing me [or anyone] to sleep. for about a week there was an RIP poster near the office, but for almost everyone life went on as usual after that: homework was assigned, dances came and went, people dated, people broke up, people sometimes rented magnolia and when they did mary laughed, jason only watched jerry maguire one more time, then never opened the case again, the seniors graduated, the band played pomp and circumstance, and after summer i was completely gone.
i thought about kevin first. i thought about kevin before i thought about my family. i thought about him laying on his bed wondering if he'll ever be funny again. in the years to come he'd skip a favor house atlantic when it played on his limewire, but he'd never get around to deleting it. i thought about cole too. cole would look away from whoever told him and say "damn..." but that would be it. he wouldn't cry, but from time to time he thought about me when he heard beast of burden, and this made him mad at me cause i ruined such an important song. i thought about deming of course. whether or not it was true deming told everyone she was fine, because that's what she does. she told taylor what happened, then pretty much never talked to him again. she actually stopped watching horror movies cause death started to make her nervous. i thought about analy too. i thought abuot those kids who didn't know my name who went home and told their moms "my friend killed herself last night" cause that's what everyone does when there's a "tragedy" in a small town. my paycheck sat in tracey's drawer next to ryan and mandi's and that picture of travis that deming and i like so much [haha]. tom remembered me forever because whisteling down the wind was playing on loop when it happened because i knew [and believe it to be very true] that there is no song more perfect that that one to sing me [or anyone] to sleep. for about a week there was an RIP poster near the office, but for almost everyone life went on as usual after that: homework was assigned, dances came and went, people dated, people broke up, people sometimes rented magnolia and when they did mary laughed, jason only watched jerry maguire one more time, then never opened the case again, the seniors graduated, the band played pomp and circumstance, and after summer i was completely gone.