... our hopes and dreams are out there somewhere...
wow. taikou thinks i'm special.
aarg. weeks don't get any more uneventful than the one i just had. the weekend more than made up for it, though.
it looks as if mom will be home 'till -at least- her surgery in june. fuck. it sounds like she fucked things up beyond repair between her and her latest fuckbuddy. that's just fucking great, because that means that she'll be around more to annoy me. chances are, she'll get pissed off that i didn't get anything for her for mother's day [ eh, and why wouldn’t she? she did the same thing last year; stole money and got pissed off that i couldn’t get anything for her for mother’s day ]. little does she know, she stole one hundred and fifty dollars from me, so i'm -unable- to get her anything because i lack monetary funds at this point in time.
the only good thing that came from her being home, thus far is that i exchanged that silver ring i found on my way home a week ago for a beautiful silver butterfly ring; the thing is fucking huge and so damned gorgeous. it is, however, way too big for even my largest finger. She says she’ll get it sized down for me, but any time she’s made -that- promise, I end up handing over the ring she wants to get altered, but I never see the ring in question ever again.
she saw my hair. she was disappointed at first, but then she began to like it... i mean -really- like it. she wouldn't leave it the fuck alone. she started playing with it on friday night, and put a whole bunch of chemical crap in it... gah, all i did was dye my hair, i want to just leave it the fuck alone now and keep it as natural as i can, is that so hard to understand? lonna liked my hair, too... she played with it as much as mom did.
last night, mom was stoned out of her mind, and wouldn't stop annoying me. she felt like talking, and would not shut up. she asked me if it bothered me that she toked. i didn't lie to her, i said no, and i told her that i'd prefer it if she didn't. she yelled at me for "trying to tell her how to live her life," when i was only trying to give her what she wanted; my -opinion-. after that, mom felt the need to tell me how often i should eat [ she's noticed that i haven't been eating much at all ], how often i should sleep, how to do this and that... basically, she was telling me how to live -my- life. fuck that. i'm -not- co-dependant, i'm not a child; i make -my own- decisions. i hate it when mom treats me like a retarded child. i find it insulting that she feels the need to tell me how i should be living -my- life. yea, like i’m going to let someone who screwed up her own life control mine.
like i said: fuck that.
she is, however, right about the eating part. since i don't eat that much, i've been rather weak and anemic. but that's not the only reason for that [ oh, fuck... get ready, she's about to talk about her period... fair warning ]. in addition to restoring the -normal- hormonal balance in my body [ i had twice as much testosterone than i was supposed to ], the birth control pills i've been taking are -supposed- to be regulating my period; i take them for twenty-one days, nothing happens for the next four days and... then, bam! i bleed like a motherfucker for the last four, and repeat the whole process again without the pills for the next month [ yes, i took my last prescribed pill yesterday ]. i began my period on tuesday; that's a -week- early, and i've been bleeding pretty heavily since, and it shows no indication of slowing down or stopping. now, if the pills were working, i wouldn't have started 'till tuesday. things for the first two months went as it was supposed to [ except that the second month was a day early, but that's not abnormal; starting a week ahead of schedule is cause for concern ], but i don't know why the third month was such a massive screw up. i -have- been faithfully taking my pills at the same time, and i've never been more than two hours late in taking one. i probably should've expected this when they put me on the -mild- pill [ it boggles me as to why they didn't just skip the mild and go with the strong ]. now i know that when i go for my checkup, i'm going to be prescribed a stronger dosage of birth control pills.
all of this medical schtuff worried me pretty badly. after all, if the pills haven't been working, i'm -that- much closer to getting cancer, and that's something i -don't- want. at all. after thinking about it, i'm investing more hope in that the prescription of a stronger birth control pill will fix the problem. oi, i have a feeling that i'm going to be on birth control pills for a long, long time. but, hey... it's not like it's going to be a bad thing. at least i'll know how to use them when and if i start using them for their original intended usage. also, by using them, i can be guaranteed 85% that i won't get pregnant [ not like that's gonna happen as long as jared's in another country... or ever, really; last time i checked, we agreed -not- to have kids ].
it hasn't been worrying me that much since. my mind has been on other much better things. jared's helped me -a lot- to get my mind off of my health problems; the funny thing is, he really didn't have to try [ it's amazing how something that's meant so much to me was virtually effortless ]. just by loving me and spending time with me, he's distracted me from a fear that otherwise would've consumed me if i let it... and i probably would have, if not for his constant love and support, which i'm surprised that it's lasted this long... you know, because when i whined about my problems, i must've sound like a stupid, whiny little bitch.
opencanvas has been doing a lot for us~ it's brought us a little closer together, and making time spent with one-another a little more fun and enjoyable. we did two collabs this weekend... the second of which featured us -both- in our underwear. his half, of course, looked sexier than mine... but of course, he drew himself... i drew me; i turned out looking like a big-headed freak... although i did like the expression my half had.
and he had the nerve to use a half-naked pocket-sized jared to call -me- sexy... hah~
i love spending time with jared. it, at least, gives me something to look forward to at the end [ and beginning, sometimes ] of each and every day. i love spending time with him because of how he makes me feel. as far as i know, as long as i'm happy, he's happy... and get this, he's even proud to be able to make me as happy as he has. you have -no- idea how badly i wanted a boyfriend like that; he's everything i ever really wanted in a guy; he obviously loves me a lot, and cares a lot about me. he's such a sweetheart, and he makes me feel as if i'm important and special. i also love the fact that he cares enough to be overprotective and even wants to keep me to himself.
as far as i know, i'm the first girlfriend he's had that's been able to tolerate that, and that's something i don't quite understand, i don't see how any girl could hate something like this. to me, this is the best feeling in the world, and it's helped to make me the happiest i've ever been. i honestly believe that jared has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, and i'm -very- happy to have someone as wonderful as that in my life.
via jared's suggestion, i got myself a private sn, and only he's on my buddy list. i've changed the settings to something -very- private; you have to be on my list to be able to contact me, -and- you can't find it by searching for the e-mail address account is under. i've had it for about a week, and thus far, i've only made one public appearance on my blueberrywind account; i did make a new friend that day, though [ 'twas kharne; a former writer turned artist. i. he recently quit writing to pursue his artistic side. he's taking an art course in college ]. also got to talk to az [ she has this adorable fursona that i want to try to draw someday ]. mya, but i don't think i'll be as social as i used to be... see, as much as i love to be social, but there's one situation that i just don't have the heart to deal with now. i may in the future, but i just don't feel up to it right now.
either way, i don't know why -anyone- would want to keep me to themselves, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't enjoy it. in a weird way, it makes me feel honored that jared wants me all to himself. either way, jared makes me feel special... that i'm actually worth a lot to someone. honestly, i love that feeling. it helps me sleep better at nights, knowing that there's someone out there who loves me that much.
i found out that my shoulders double-jointed; i can clasp my hands together in front of me, and without separating them, i can move them over my head, behind my back and all the way down to my ass. i can do this the other way 'round, too. i found that out while i was stretching after having done the first collab with jared; i stretched, hit the point where i usually stop the stretch [ about mid-back ], yawned, went a little further and hit my ass. it hurt the first few times, but now, i can do it effortlessly, and without pain.
i decided that since i can't possibly put together the required portfolio by the end of the month, i'd ditch the art school thing. instead, i plan to go with computer programming, or at least something connected to computer science. knowing how difficult it is to get a career in art, i want to at least get the skills for an occupation that has a significantly higher demand; something i can at least fall back on if this art thing doesn't work out for me. i'll work for a few years and pay off the student debt; in the progress, i will take the opportunity to hone in on my artistic skills and improve as much as i can, and when the debt is paid off, i'll save some money to go to that art college.
with training in two different, yet somewhat connecting career fields, it should be much easier to find a job when and if i move out of this godforsaken province.
of course, there are going to be people that'll play somewhat large roles in this. this summer, if all goes as planned, jen and i will be getting jobs that we'll keep, even after the summer is over. jen will be going to high school next year [ she's missing a few graduation credits that she should have received ages ago ], and i will be going to college; if all goes as planned, we'll be living on our own; totally independent of our parents. jen said it best when she said, "the sooner we get out of here, the better. mom and dad are acting like -total- pricks, and i've had about enough of it."
but, jen plans on eventually moving to alberta with a friend of hers. she was offered to do that this summer, but she wants to stay behind at least for a few years to finish her education and earn some money, so that she'll be a little more secure when she makes the move. so, this -hopefully- means that starting next school year, i won't be living under my parent's roof any more, and that'll be downright fucking awesome.
hopefully, by the time jen's ready to go, hopefully i'll finally be with jared. after all, that's what i'm -really- looking forward to; all i really want out of life is to spend as much of it with him as i can [ like i said earlier, i dearly -love- spending time with jared ], and i would do -anything- to make it happen. i look forward to the day when we finally don't have to use computers to stay in touch with each other. it will put an end to a lot of worries and fears... and best of all, it will feel so good to be able to touch him... he'll finally be tangible and real to me.
not that he isn't now... but meeting him face-to-face will make him moreso.
the reviews are in; i'm not yerf material. all reviewers gave my art an overall rating of -2 [ and that's the lowest rating they give, 2 is the highest ]. bah, but i'm not concerned or downed by it. i honestly didn't care if i got in or not. i, at least got valuable critiques that i think i might be able to use.
i finished inking and flat colouring all of the line art on my computer, and i finished two pictures; one for minnchan, one for myself and one for nezumi.
the one i did for minn was something i started ages ago. i began colouring it in crs class and forgot about. on friday, i saw that the .psd file was still on my school account. i worked on it a little bit and uploaded it [ via msie's built-in ftp explorer ] to my furnation account [ which is -real- funny because www.furnation.com has been blocked from the school; ftp.furnation.com has not ]. either way, i downloaded it at home and finished it. by the point of which i uploaded it, all shading had been done, and all i had to do was add the highlighs, blush and any/all touchups. people really seemed to like this picture and most who commented thought this pic looked cute, too. so do i; kitten is such a cute character, and for once, i feel i actually did justice to a cute character. i also corrected a spelling error that was in the inked version. kitten belongs to jocelyn kiersted, not jocelyn keirsted.
the one i did for myself is actually pretty damned old. it's a picture of mrlkitty [ yea, like i've been drawing any of my other characters ]. she's sad, and is -trying- to hide it. being as bad at hiding emotions as i am, she -still- comes off as sad. the emotion in this pic is due to the fact that it was done around the same time as this picture. the colour on it looks plastic [ -especially- on the red overcoat ], and that's -exactly- what i was going for. i would have colored in tears, but i figured that it was easy enough to figure out she's sad, -about- to cry and -trying- to hide it. this is why it's fairly easy for those who know me to tell what, if anything, is on my mind.
the picture for nezumi was an absolute bitch to colour, -especially- the hair; the bangs turned out well, but every strand of hair beneath it sucks badly... it's hard to tell where the strand highlights are. people seemed to like the face... i do too, kinda. i don't really like how the eyes turned out, and i don't know why i positioned the eyebrows the way i did. people also like how the dress turned out, and so do i, -especially- the bottom half of it. the "holy cloth" that carrot's hand kinda disappoints me a little bit, but it turned out okay, to say the very least. the background, as usual, sucks ass because it's a bunch of random colours that don't make a whole hell of a lot of sense.
speaking of nezumi, he got that group pic of his finished, and it's downright fucking gorgeous; i love the way he drew mrlkitty and sithy; he did forget mrlkitty's ear markings, but that's alright. he even got a daily top favorite on it. as his "teacher," i am -very- proud of him... and now i'm beginning to wonder if -i- should be the one calling -him- teacher, now.
i also inked one of those pose practice pictures [ funny how most of those end up being provocative poses, now -i'm- beginning to think i'm doing it on purpose ]. i -loved- how the pose turned out, so i figured i'd finish it, but -not- make it public, because let's face it; i don't want or enjoy drooling horny fan boys staring at a character that's -supposed- to be me. after all, the pose is provocative enough, -and- she's not wearing a whole hell of a lot. from what i've heard, jared isn't too fond of the fan boy attention, either. so, it'll end up being one of the many mrlkitty pics that only -he- gets to see.
... not that i think he minds those at all. heh.
well, one other person has seen it... but that's just sam; she's hardly a fan boy, and she'll never use the word sexy [ she's one of those holy-roller christians, but she's überly cool about it because she's not pushy or insistent that i'm going to hell for not believe in what she believes in ]. at most, she'll use the word "cute" to describe my art. silly girl. i like showing my art to sam because she -never- overreacts to my art. i've never heard her say something along the lines of, "omg!!!111 that's so good!!!11 ur da best i wish i kud draw lik uu!!!111oneoneoneune" like a whole lot of other people who've seen my art [ i am -so- sick of hearing garbage like that; it doesn't help me in the least, nor do i like being put on a pedestal because i have a talent that someone only wishes they had ]. she'll usually give my art a small, yet flattering compliment and maybe a few helpful critiques.
more people need to act like sam. she's about the -only- person i feel comfortable, in real life, showing my art to. most other people react in ways that i just don't like. some of them hate or just can't grasp the concept of anthropomorphic creatures, they'll hate my style, give me sexist or perverted "comments" [ or maybe the clichéd "omg!!!11 ur a lesbian kuz uu draw grrls all da time!!!111" ], kiss my ass and/or then ask me to draw something for them.
yes, like an insult or needless praise is going to make me want to draw something for you. yea, right... get real.
i draw for -me- only. if you want something, wait 'till i bring a bunch of 'rejects' to school and take as many as you want. yes, i occasionally bring art to school for people to pick through and take home. for sam, she has a bookmark to my deviantart gallery on her school account. if she sees something she likes, she's usually the first one to ask for it. for her, it's a simple yes or no. she never asks why, like most people do... like i -have- to justify to them why i want to keep certain pieces.
bah, like -i'm- the asshole for not wanting to give away the art i like.
ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,mrl_kitty,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø
aarg. weeks don't get any more uneventful than the one i just had. the weekend more than made up for it, though.
it looks as if mom will be home 'till -at least- her surgery in june. fuck. it sounds like she fucked things up beyond repair between her and her latest fuckbuddy. that's just fucking great, because that means that she'll be around more to annoy me. chances are, she'll get pissed off that i didn't get anything for her for mother's day [ eh, and why wouldn’t she? she did the same thing last year; stole money and got pissed off that i couldn’t get anything for her for mother’s day ]. little does she know, she stole one hundred and fifty dollars from me, so i'm -unable- to get her anything because i lack monetary funds at this point in time.
the only good thing that came from her being home, thus far is that i exchanged that silver ring i found on my way home a week ago for a beautiful silver butterfly ring; the thing is fucking huge and so damned gorgeous. it is, however, way too big for even my largest finger. She says she’ll get it sized down for me, but any time she’s made -that- promise, I end up handing over the ring she wants to get altered, but I never see the ring in question ever again.
she saw my hair. she was disappointed at first, but then she began to like it... i mean -really- like it. she wouldn't leave it the fuck alone. she started playing with it on friday night, and put a whole bunch of chemical crap in it... gah, all i did was dye my hair, i want to just leave it the fuck alone now and keep it as natural as i can, is that so hard to understand? lonna liked my hair, too... she played with it as much as mom did.
last night, mom was stoned out of her mind, and wouldn't stop annoying me. she felt like talking, and would not shut up. she asked me if it bothered me that she toked. i didn't lie to her, i said no, and i told her that i'd prefer it if she didn't. she yelled at me for "trying to tell her how to live her life," when i was only trying to give her what she wanted; my -opinion-. after that, mom felt the need to tell me how often i should eat [ she's noticed that i haven't been eating much at all ], how often i should sleep, how to do this and that... basically, she was telling me how to live -my- life. fuck that. i'm -not- co-dependant, i'm not a child; i make -my own- decisions. i hate it when mom treats me like a retarded child. i find it insulting that she feels the need to tell me how i should be living -my- life. yea, like i’m going to let someone who screwed up her own life control mine.
like i said: fuck that.
she is, however, right about the eating part. since i don't eat that much, i've been rather weak and anemic. but that's not the only reason for that [ oh, fuck... get ready, she's about to talk about her period... fair warning ]. in addition to restoring the -normal- hormonal balance in my body [ i had twice as much testosterone than i was supposed to ], the birth control pills i've been taking are -supposed- to be regulating my period; i take them for twenty-one days, nothing happens for the next four days and... then, bam! i bleed like a motherfucker for the last four, and repeat the whole process again without the pills for the next month [ yes, i took my last prescribed pill yesterday ]. i began my period on tuesday; that's a -week- early, and i've been bleeding pretty heavily since, and it shows no indication of slowing down or stopping. now, if the pills were working, i wouldn't have started 'till tuesday. things for the first two months went as it was supposed to [ except that the second month was a day early, but that's not abnormal; starting a week ahead of schedule is cause for concern ], but i don't know why the third month was such a massive screw up. i -have- been faithfully taking my pills at the same time, and i've never been more than two hours late in taking one. i probably should've expected this when they put me on the -mild- pill [ it boggles me as to why they didn't just skip the mild and go with the strong ]. now i know that when i go for my checkup, i'm going to be prescribed a stronger dosage of birth control pills.
all of this medical schtuff worried me pretty badly. after all, if the pills haven't been working, i'm -that- much closer to getting cancer, and that's something i -don't- want. at all. after thinking about it, i'm investing more hope in that the prescription of a stronger birth control pill will fix the problem. oi, i have a feeling that i'm going to be on birth control pills for a long, long time. but, hey... it's not like it's going to be a bad thing. at least i'll know how to use them when and if i start using them for their original intended usage. also, by using them, i can be guaranteed 85% that i won't get pregnant [ not like that's gonna happen as long as jared's in another country... or ever, really; last time i checked, we agreed -not- to have kids ].
it hasn't been worrying me that much since. my mind has been on other much better things. jared's helped me -a lot- to get my mind off of my health problems; the funny thing is, he really didn't have to try [ it's amazing how something that's meant so much to me was virtually effortless ]. just by loving me and spending time with me, he's distracted me from a fear that otherwise would've consumed me if i let it... and i probably would have, if not for his constant love and support, which i'm surprised that it's lasted this long... you know, because when i whined about my problems, i must've sound like a stupid, whiny little bitch.
opencanvas has been doing a lot for us~ it's brought us a little closer together, and making time spent with one-another a little more fun and enjoyable. we did two collabs this weekend... the second of which featured us -both- in our underwear. his half, of course, looked sexier than mine... but of course, he drew himself... i drew me; i turned out looking like a big-headed freak... although i did like the expression my half had.
and he had the nerve to use a half-naked pocket-sized jared to call -me- sexy... hah~
i love spending time with jared. it, at least, gives me something to look forward to at the end [ and beginning, sometimes ] of each and every day. i love spending time with him because of how he makes me feel. as far as i know, as long as i'm happy, he's happy... and get this, he's even proud to be able to make me as happy as he has. you have -no- idea how badly i wanted a boyfriend like that; he's everything i ever really wanted in a guy; he obviously loves me a lot, and cares a lot about me. he's such a sweetheart, and he makes me feel as if i'm important and special. i also love the fact that he cares enough to be overprotective and even wants to keep me to himself.
as far as i know, i'm the first girlfriend he's had that's been able to tolerate that, and that's something i don't quite understand, i don't see how any girl could hate something like this. to me, this is the best feeling in the world, and it's helped to make me the happiest i've ever been. i honestly believe that jared has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, and i'm -very- happy to have someone as wonderful as that in my life.
via jared's suggestion, i got myself a private sn, and only he's on my buddy list. i've changed the settings to something -very- private; you have to be on my list to be able to contact me, -and- you can't find it by searching for the e-mail address account is under. i've had it for about a week, and thus far, i've only made one public appearance on my blueberrywind account; i did make a new friend that day, though [ 'twas kharne; a former writer turned artist. i. he recently quit writing to pursue his artistic side. he's taking an art course in college ]. also got to talk to az [ she has this adorable fursona that i want to try to draw someday ]. mya, but i don't think i'll be as social as i used to be... see, as much as i love to be social, but there's one situation that i just don't have the heart to deal with now. i may in the future, but i just don't feel up to it right now.
either way, i don't know why -anyone- would want to keep me to themselves, but i'd be lying if i said i didn't enjoy it. in a weird way, it makes me feel honored that jared wants me all to himself. either way, jared makes me feel special... that i'm actually worth a lot to someone. honestly, i love that feeling. it helps me sleep better at nights, knowing that there's someone out there who loves me that much.
i found out that my shoulders double-jointed; i can clasp my hands together in front of me, and without separating them, i can move them over my head, behind my back and all the way down to my ass. i can do this the other way 'round, too. i found that out while i was stretching after having done the first collab with jared; i stretched, hit the point where i usually stop the stretch [ about mid-back ], yawned, went a little further and hit my ass. it hurt the first few times, but now, i can do it effortlessly, and without pain.
i decided that since i can't possibly put together the required portfolio by the end of the month, i'd ditch the art school thing. instead, i plan to go with computer programming, or at least something connected to computer science. knowing how difficult it is to get a career in art, i want to at least get the skills for an occupation that has a significantly higher demand; something i can at least fall back on if this art thing doesn't work out for me. i'll work for a few years and pay off the student debt; in the progress, i will take the opportunity to hone in on my artistic skills and improve as much as i can, and when the debt is paid off, i'll save some money to go to that art college.
with training in two different, yet somewhat connecting career fields, it should be much easier to find a job when and if i move out of this godforsaken province.
of course, there are going to be people that'll play somewhat large roles in this. this summer, if all goes as planned, jen and i will be getting jobs that we'll keep, even after the summer is over. jen will be going to high school next year [ she's missing a few graduation credits that she should have received ages ago ], and i will be going to college; if all goes as planned, we'll be living on our own; totally independent of our parents. jen said it best when she said, "the sooner we get out of here, the better. mom and dad are acting like -total- pricks, and i've had about enough of it."
but, jen plans on eventually moving to alberta with a friend of hers. she was offered to do that this summer, but she wants to stay behind at least for a few years to finish her education and earn some money, so that she'll be a little more secure when she makes the move. so, this -hopefully- means that starting next school year, i won't be living under my parent's roof any more, and that'll be downright fucking awesome.
hopefully, by the time jen's ready to go, hopefully i'll finally be with jared. after all, that's what i'm -really- looking forward to; all i really want out of life is to spend as much of it with him as i can [ like i said earlier, i dearly -love- spending time with jared ], and i would do -anything- to make it happen. i look forward to the day when we finally don't have to use computers to stay in touch with each other. it will put an end to a lot of worries and fears... and best of all, it will feel so good to be able to touch him... he'll finally be tangible and real to me.
not that he isn't now... but meeting him face-to-face will make him moreso.
the reviews are in; i'm not yerf material. all reviewers gave my art an overall rating of -2 [ and that's the lowest rating they give, 2 is the highest ]. bah, but i'm not concerned or downed by it. i honestly didn't care if i got in or not. i, at least got valuable critiques that i think i might be able to use.
i finished inking and flat colouring all of the line art on my computer, and i finished two pictures; one for minnchan, one for myself and one for nezumi.
the one i did for minn was something i started ages ago. i began colouring it in crs class and forgot about. on friday, i saw that the .psd file was still on my school account. i worked on it a little bit and uploaded it [ via msie's built-in ftp explorer ] to my furnation account [ which is -real- funny because www.furnation.com has been blocked from the school; ftp.furnation.com has not ]. either way, i downloaded it at home and finished it. by the point of which i uploaded it, all shading had been done, and all i had to do was add the highlighs, blush and any/all touchups. people really seemed to like this picture and most who commented thought this pic looked cute, too. so do i; kitten is such a cute character, and for once, i feel i actually did justice to a cute character. i also corrected a spelling error that was in the inked version. kitten belongs to jocelyn kiersted, not jocelyn keirsted.
the one i did for myself is actually pretty damned old. it's a picture of mrlkitty [ yea, like i've been drawing any of my other characters ]. she's sad, and is -trying- to hide it. being as bad at hiding emotions as i am, she -still- comes off as sad. the emotion in this pic is due to the fact that it was done around the same time as this picture. the colour on it looks plastic [ -especially- on the red overcoat ], and that's -exactly- what i was going for. i would have colored in tears, but i figured that it was easy enough to figure out she's sad, -about- to cry and -trying- to hide it. this is why it's fairly easy for those who know me to tell what, if anything, is on my mind.
the picture for nezumi was an absolute bitch to colour, -especially- the hair; the bangs turned out well, but every strand of hair beneath it sucks badly... it's hard to tell where the strand highlights are. people seemed to like the face... i do too, kinda. i don't really like how the eyes turned out, and i don't know why i positioned the eyebrows the way i did. people also like how the dress turned out, and so do i, -especially- the bottom half of it. the "holy cloth" that carrot's hand kinda disappoints me a little bit, but it turned out okay, to say the very least. the background, as usual, sucks ass because it's a bunch of random colours that don't make a whole hell of a lot of sense.
speaking of nezumi, he got that group pic of his finished, and it's downright fucking gorgeous; i love the way he drew mrlkitty and sithy; he did forget mrlkitty's ear markings, but that's alright. he even got a daily top favorite on it. as his "teacher," i am -very- proud of him... and now i'm beginning to wonder if -i- should be the one calling -him- teacher, now.
i also inked one of those pose practice pictures [ funny how most of those end up being provocative poses, now -i'm- beginning to think i'm doing it on purpose ]. i -loved- how the pose turned out, so i figured i'd finish it, but -not- make it public, because let's face it; i don't want or enjoy drooling horny fan boys staring at a character that's -supposed- to be me. after all, the pose is provocative enough, -and- she's not wearing a whole hell of a lot. from what i've heard, jared isn't too fond of the fan boy attention, either. so, it'll end up being one of the many mrlkitty pics that only -he- gets to see.
... not that i think he minds those at all. heh.
well, one other person has seen it... but that's just sam; she's hardly a fan boy, and she'll never use the word sexy [ she's one of those holy-roller christians, but she's überly cool about it because she's not pushy or insistent that i'm going to hell for not believe in what she believes in ]. at most, she'll use the word "cute" to describe my art. silly girl. i like showing my art to sam because she -never- overreacts to my art. i've never heard her say something along the lines of, "omg!!!111 that's so good!!!11 ur da best i wish i kud draw lik uu!!!111oneoneoneune" like a whole lot of other people who've seen my art [ i am -so- sick of hearing garbage like that; it doesn't help me in the least, nor do i like being put on a pedestal because i have a talent that someone only wishes they had ]. she'll usually give my art a small, yet flattering compliment and maybe a few helpful critiques.
more people need to act like sam. she's about the -only- person i feel comfortable, in real life, showing my art to. most other people react in ways that i just don't like. some of them hate or just can't grasp the concept of anthropomorphic creatures, they'll hate my style, give me sexist or perverted "comments" [ or maybe the clichéd "omg!!!11 ur a lesbian kuz uu draw grrls all da time!!!111" ], kiss my ass and/or then ask me to draw something for them.
yes, like an insult or needless praise is going to make me want to draw something for you. yea, right... get real.
i draw for -me- only. if you want something, wait 'till i bring a bunch of 'rejects' to school and take as many as you want. yes, i occasionally bring art to school for people to pick through and take home. for sam, she has a bookmark to my deviantart gallery on her school account. if she sees something she likes, she's usually the first one to ask for it. for her, it's a simple yes or no. she never asks why, like most people do... like i -have- to justify to them why i want to keep certain pieces.
bah, like -i'm- the asshole for not wanting to give away the art i like.
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