... if i only could, i'd set the world on fire...
wow. on it's first day, my flash animation received over three-hundred hits, sixteen comments and two favorites. you'd think that since i spent around forty hours on the animation, i'd be disappointed that other deviations that've taken me less time to do have received more attention.
wrong.
see, despite the fact that the movie took me around forty hours [ from rough sketch, to final product ], i'm quite proud of how it turned out, and i'm satisfied with the attention it got. i originally wasn't gonna upload it, but when i showed it to nytro, he suggested i upload it. since compressing it a bit reduced the file size quite a bit, i was more than happy to share it with the rest of the world. i was so happy with having finished it, i honestly wouldn't have cared if it got no attention.
i had to present it on wednesday, and it honestly wasn't that bad. only two questions came from it. they related to the copyrights at the end and whether or not i made rpgs. the question about the copyrights came from the fact i said that all of the graphics in the animation were by me. daniel must've been confused when i said i did all graphics in the movie; he must've thought that meant that the characters also belonged to me. i explained that one character belonged to me, the other didn't. there were no questions about which one was mine and who the other one belonged to. of course, the question about me creating rpgs was dealt with a negative answer. i'm sure that that arose from the fact that the animation was in sort of a rpg-type 'click to continue' style.
it at least got a good mark in the class i made it for. i failed to meet two requirements, but more than made up for it in bonus points.
now that i know what it takes to make a flash movie, i have a renewed appreciation for flash animations and the hard work it takes to make a flash movie... making my weekly visits to homestarrunner.com, killfrog.com and a few other flash-y websites a little more enjoyable. i doubt i'll make many more, if any, flash movies. the one i made for that assignment took me long enough.
mom saw the box of hairdye on my computer desk on... i think it was thursday. she objects to the idea of me dying my hair black, but understands that if i want to do it, there's nothing she can do to stop me. she wants me to think about it... oh, like i haven't already. you know, i -still- haven't reached a conclusion on that yet. i would like to change the colour of my hair someday, but i don't know if it should be black or even if i should change it now. i need to find something a little less permanent to sway my decision before making it.
friday was probably one of the most stressful days i've ever been put through. i swear, the day dragged on, and on, and on... and et cetera. i didn't sleep the previous night. but of course, my sleeping pattern has been anything but consistant. there will be nights where i won't get any sleep because i'm upset, and there will be nights that i don't get any sleep for no reason. it's just getting insane now, and i don't know what i should... or can do about it.
kelly started hitting on me again on friday. i wasn't really in the mood for that. i just wish i knew what her problem was. she knows i'm not interested in her [ hell, i don't even swing that way ], she knows i'm taken, she knows that i don't appreciate the way she's been treating me. i snapped and yelled at her. i also snapped at jen the morning previous... but it's not like she didn't deserve it, either.
needless to say, friday just wasn't my day.
hell, it didn't even end after school. i got home and started working on my college applications. mom said she'd help me with it. i reached the requirements list and saw that i needed -three- letters of reference. i asked her about it, and she suggested i ask the local mormon church's bishop for a letter. of course, i had rejections to this. not only because i don't go to church or believe in religion anymore, but because i really believe that it's just a waste of time, both for the bishop and myself because what good is a reference letter [ from someone who barely knows me ] gonna do me?
to me, it seems that it'd be just a tad shallow and to go back to a church i -don't- believe in for a measly letter of reference, and just because my mom said to. why should i have to go back when i don't believe in organized religion? fuck, all i ever did in church was sleep. i'm much too skeptical about the possibility of a deity to join any religion. mom just doesn't seem to understand that religion is not for everyone, nor should it be. this is why i'm not too fond of religious maniacs. they -assume- that what they believe in is the only right that exists, and what everyone else believes is wrong.
i find it mildly amusing that mom is this crazy religion fanatic, yet she smokes, sleeps around, drinks, does drugs and abuses me [ emotionally and physically ]. i guess her religion has no rules against that.
i made note of my objection to the bishop-written reference letter, and then mom started this whole "turn your back on god" rant that i've already suffered through millions of times before. she insists that i'll turn to religion. yea fucking right, since when have i ever -needed- more fairytales in my life? i fucking hate how she turns work on college applications into a church infomercial. i hate how she'll turn her back on me because of my lack of a belief in a relitioin. i -really- hate how she'll try to control my life and thinks she knows me and what's best for me, when in actuality, she knows -nothing- about me. if at all, she hasn't known me for at least a decade.
i wonder why she even bothers to come back. all she ever does is make everyone around her miserable and complain how "filthy" the house is [ that's funny... -she's- the one who moves back and forth, and never bothers to clean up after herself ]. she must know by now that nobody in this house really likes her at all, and the house is well taken-care of while she's gone [ even if i'm the only person who does it ].
but, night kind of made up for the day. i was able to say "no" to mom and lonna for the first time in, like, ever. i don't like saying no, because they'll do all in their power to make me feel guilty for wanting to have the weekend to myself.
see, lonna, dawnna and mom wanted to go out drinking [ well, this is funny... mom says she quits drinking, and she's apparently back on the bottle. but then again, she's never been honest with me at all ], and they wanted me to baby-sit. already having had a rough day, as well as an argument with mom, i was in no mood to put up with kids. i said no, despite my natural objection for doing so. they begged, tried to make me feel guilty and offered money [ ooh, yes... i love it when you treat me like a whore. give me money, and i'm yours. j/k ], even. i -still- refused, and stood ground. i was rewarded with the house to myself for the entire weekend.
i finished my pic of vikna for nyt, that night. i've been experimenting with cell-shading. i want my cell-style to look plastic, and it seems as if i've succeeded in doing just that. call me weird, but i like the plastic look. it looks all shiny and pretty.
the weekend wasn't all good, though. i wanted to work on drawings for my college application, but nothing i've been sketching has turned out right. i only got one of the five required gesture drawings finished... but other than that, my portfolio is largely unfinished. i may submit a few of what i believe to be my best current pictures, but i will keep anthro art in my portfolio to a bare minimum. a lot of places tend to look down on anthro art, and i don't want my portfolio to be rejected because of it.
i also finished inking that pic i started for ami hedgehog [ i plan to finish it ]. i did a pic for her to repay that beautiful axl pic she did for me.
i finished colouring my half of an art trade with natashi. i really like how that one turned out. i cell-shaded it, as opposed to dodging and burning it because the character had too much white. it'd be far easier to go with cell shading. i need to do something else for miss natashi, because we agreed to do two trades.
i also inked a pic i started for bryan furlong. it didn't turn out as well as i had hoped. since he did such a wonderful pic for me [ which i really wanna colour ], i'll probably end up fixing it and colour it.
speaking of trades, i went ahead and accepted a new one. i know i'm stupid for doing it, but i just couldn't resist... the character is one i've drawn before, and looks -very- fucking neat.
mya~ i'm on the last two weeks of my pills. i have a bad feeling that they haven't been doing much of anything for me. they've failed to clear up a few of the problems it was supposed to clear up [ it only fixed one that i'm aware of ]. i'm not surprized at all. after all, they -did- put me on a -mild- birth-control pill. i don't know why she prescribed the mild one... i mean, my testosterone level was -double- what it was supposed to be, and i'm pretty sure that the mild pills won't fix it... or at least, all of it.
after i'm done this prescription, i'm going to have to see dr. newhook once again for a checkup [ i dread having to go back, because i still fear i may have to go through one of those pap tests... but i've been told that as long as i'm a virgin, i don't have to worry about that just yet... and some tell me that, regardless, if i'm eighteen, i have to go through it. i wish they'd stop confusing teh poor 'lil virgin ] and to schedule more of those dreaded blood tests. i'm -not- looking forward to that. i hate waiting in that hospital's lobby, and i hate needles, and this whole ordeal hasn't been kind to that fact.
last time i had blood taken, they took -four- vials of it. having to walk to lonna's house [ even if it was a ten-minute walk that i'm sure almost killed me, if not for me not looking before i crossed the street, then for the fact that it was cold, and i felt like i was gonna pass out ] didn't help. i can remember feeling drained for so long afterwards. i'm just hoping they won't need quite as much blood this time. i don't understand why they needed so much blood for only two tests [ on the sheet i was given, only -two- tests were checked off. eh, i don't know much about this kinda stuff, so i really wouldn't know ]
if the tests come out, and nothing has changed, then i'm going to be put on a stronger birth control pill. i'm not exactly sure what that'll mean. if something has changed, i'm probably still going to take that stronger birth-control pill to at least see if that won't clear up the remaining problems.
bah, but that's two weeks away... then another two weeks to get the results of that test... oi...
ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,MRL_Kitty,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø
wrong.
see, despite the fact that the movie took me around forty hours [ from rough sketch, to final product ], i'm quite proud of how it turned out, and i'm satisfied with the attention it got. i originally wasn't gonna upload it, but when i showed it to nytro, he suggested i upload it. since compressing it a bit reduced the file size quite a bit, i was more than happy to share it with the rest of the world. i was so happy with having finished it, i honestly wouldn't have cared if it got no attention.
i had to present it on wednesday, and it honestly wasn't that bad. only two questions came from it. they related to the copyrights at the end and whether or not i made rpgs. the question about the copyrights came from the fact i said that all of the graphics in the animation were by me. daniel must've been confused when i said i did all graphics in the movie; he must've thought that meant that the characters also belonged to me. i explained that one character belonged to me, the other didn't. there were no questions about which one was mine and who the other one belonged to. of course, the question about me creating rpgs was dealt with a negative answer. i'm sure that that arose from the fact that the animation was in sort of a rpg-type 'click to continue' style.
it at least got a good mark in the class i made it for. i failed to meet two requirements, but more than made up for it in bonus points.
now that i know what it takes to make a flash movie, i have a renewed appreciation for flash animations and the hard work it takes to make a flash movie... making my weekly visits to homestarrunner.com, killfrog.com and a few other flash-y websites a little more enjoyable. i doubt i'll make many more, if any, flash movies. the one i made for that assignment took me long enough.
mom saw the box of hairdye on my computer desk on... i think it was thursday. she objects to the idea of me dying my hair black, but understands that if i want to do it, there's nothing she can do to stop me. she wants me to think about it... oh, like i haven't already. you know, i -still- haven't reached a conclusion on that yet. i would like to change the colour of my hair someday, but i don't know if it should be black or even if i should change it now. i need to find something a little less permanent to sway my decision before making it.
friday was probably one of the most stressful days i've ever been put through. i swear, the day dragged on, and on, and on... and et cetera. i didn't sleep the previous night. but of course, my sleeping pattern has been anything but consistant. there will be nights where i won't get any sleep because i'm upset, and there will be nights that i don't get any sleep for no reason. it's just getting insane now, and i don't know what i should... or can do about it.
kelly started hitting on me again on friday. i wasn't really in the mood for that. i just wish i knew what her problem was. she knows i'm not interested in her [ hell, i don't even swing that way ], she knows i'm taken, she knows that i don't appreciate the way she's been treating me. i snapped and yelled at her. i also snapped at jen the morning previous... but it's not like she didn't deserve it, either.
needless to say, friday just wasn't my day.
hell, it didn't even end after school. i got home and started working on my college applications. mom said she'd help me with it. i reached the requirements list and saw that i needed -three- letters of reference. i asked her about it, and she suggested i ask the local mormon church's bishop for a letter. of course, i had rejections to this. not only because i don't go to church or believe in religion anymore, but because i really believe that it's just a waste of time, both for the bishop and myself because what good is a reference letter [ from someone who barely knows me ] gonna do me?
to me, it seems that it'd be just a tad shallow and to go back to a church i -don't- believe in for a measly letter of reference, and just because my mom said to. why should i have to go back when i don't believe in organized religion? fuck, all i ever did in church was sleep. i'm much too skeptical about the possibility of a deity to join any religion. mom just doesn't seem to understand that religion is not for everyone, nor should it be. this is why i'm not too fond of religious maniacs. they -assume- that what they believe in is the only right that exists, and what everyone else believes is wrong.
i find it mildly amusing that mom is this crazy religion fanatic, yet she smokes, sleeps around, drinks, does drugs and abuses me [ emotionally and physically ]. i guess her religion has no rules against that.
i made note of my objection to the bishop-written reference letter, and then mom started this whole "turn your back on god" rant that i've already suffered through millions of times before. she insists that i'll turn to religion. yea fucking right, since when have i ever -needed- more fairytales in my life? i fucking hate how she turns work on college applications into a church infomercial. i hate how she'll turn her back on me because of my lack of a belief in a relitioin. i -really- hate how she'll try to control my life and thinks she knows me and what's best for me, when in actuality, she knows -nothing- about me. if at all, she hasn't known me for at least a decade.
i wonder why she even bothers to come back. all she ever does is make everyone around her miserable and complain how "filthy" the house is [ that's funny... -she's- the one who moves back and forth, and never bothers to clean up after herself ]. she must know by now that nobody in this house really likes her at all, and the house is well taken-care of while she's gone [ even if i'm the only person who does it ].
but, night kind of made up for the day. i was able to say "no" to mom and lonna for the first time in, like, ever. i don't like saying no, because they'll do all in their power to make me feel guilty for wanting to have the weekend to myself.
see, lonna, dawnna and mom wanted to go out drinking [ well, this is funny... mom says she quits drinking, and she's apparently back on the bottle. but then again, she's never been honest with me at all ], and they wanted me to baby-sit. already having had a rough day, as well as an argument with mom, i was in no mood to put up with kids. i said no, despite my natural objection for doing so. they begged, tried to make me feel guilty and offered money [ ooh, yes... i love it when you treat me like a whore. give me money, and i'm yours. j/k ], even. i -still- refused, and stood ground. i was rewarded with the house to myself for the entire weekend.
i finished my pic of vikna for nyt, that night. i've been experimenting with cell-shading. i want my cell-style to look plastic, and it seems as if i've succeeded in doing just that. call me weird, but i like the plastic look. it looks all shiny and pretty.
the weekend wasn't all good, though. i wanted to work on drawings for my college application, but nothing i've been sketching has turned out right. i only got one of the five required gesture drawings finished... but other than that, my portfolio is largely unfinished. i may submit a few of what i believe to be my best current pictures, but i will keep anthro art in my portfolio to a bare minimum. a lot of places tend to look down on anthro art, and i don't want my portfolio to be rejected because of it.
i also finished inking that pic i started for ami hedgehog [ i plan to finish it ]. i did a pic for her to repay that beautiful axl pic she did for me.
i finished colouring my half of an art trade with natashi. i really like how that one turned out. i cell-shaded it, as opposed to dodging and burning it because the character had too much white. it'd be far easier to go with cell shading. i need to do something else for miss natashi, because we agreed to do two trades.
i also inked a pic i started for bryan furlong. it didn't turn out as well as i had hoped. since he did such a wonderful pic for me [ which i really wanna colour ], i'll probably end up fixing it and colour it.
speaking of trades, i went ahead and accepted a new one. i know i'm stupid for doing it, but i just couldn't resist... the character is one i've drawn before, and looks -very- fucking neat.
mya~ i'm on the last two weeks of my pills. i have a bad feeling that they haven't been doing much of anything for me. they've failed to clear up a few of the problems it was supposed to clear up [ it only fixed one that i'm aware of ]. i'm not surprized at all. after all, they -did- put me on a -mild- birth-control pill. i don't know why she prescribed the mild one... i mean, my testosterone level was -double- what it was supposed to be, and i'm pretty sure that the mild pills won't fix it... or at least, all of it.
after i'm done this prescription, i'm going to have to see dr. newhook once again for a checkup [ i dread having to go back, because i still fear i may have to go through one of those pap tests... but i've been told that as long as i'm a virgin, i don't have to worry about that just yet... and some tell me that, regardless, if i'm eighteen, i have to go through it. i wish they'd stop confusing teh poor 'lil virgin ] and to schedule more of those dreaded blood tests. i'm -not- looking forward to that. i hate waiting in that hospital's lobby, and i hate needles, and this whole ordeal hasn't been kind to that fact.
last time i had blood taken, they took -four- vials of it. having to walk to lonna's house [ even if it was a ten-minute walk that i'm sure almost killed me, if not for me not looking before i crossed the street, then for the fact that it was cold, and i felt like i was gonna pass out ] didn't help. i can remember feeling drained for so long afterwards. i'm just hoping they won't need quite as much blood this time. i don't understand why they needed so much blood for only two tests [ on the sheet i was given, only -two- tests were checked off. eh, i don't know much about this kinda stuff, so i really wouldn't know ]
if the tests come out, and nothing has changed, then i'm going to be put on a stronger birth control pill. i'm not exactly sure what that'll mean. if something has changed, i'm probably still going to take that stronger birth-control pill to at least see if that won't clear up the remaining problems.
bah, but that's two weeks away... then another two weeks to get the results of that test... oi...
ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,MRL_Kitty,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø