Yeah, I've never understood these couples who "get engaged", like it's a thing in itself (even the ones who do intend to eventually get married somewhere down the line, never mind the young kids who really do just "get engaged") - being engaged is simply a transitionary period between deciding to get married and the actual ceremony, there purely to give enough time to sort out all the things that need sorting, getting the ceremony organised etc. Has to be a minimum of three months because of church regulations, necessary preparation of finances tend to make it longer, and as you point out, work commitments rear their head too.
But being engaged for a year before you even think of setting a date, and then setting that date for 18 months time? I don't get it :)
I agree, but I was thinking in a more philosophical way. All that stuff is necessary of course but having taken the decision is most of the heavy lifting done, a sort of so close and yet so far situation.
It's a similar thought process as to my lack of understanding on the church's position on natural family planning, is the sin not in the intention rather than the physical object used? The intention with natural family planning is still to not get pregnant so I'm not sure where the logic is in the church's position. Other than you can turn it on it's head and use it to try and get pregnant, which you certainly can't do with other contraception.
My point? Surely the action is largely in the decision?
*thinks* You're dead right! Never really pondered that before :)
Now obviously I'm not a believer in the procreation-only end of sex, and don't agree with the Church's position on that, but yeah, if you're going to have that as a tenet, surely it should be all or nothing? Daft.
A friend of mine who also identifies strongly as Catholic (though she doesn't attend Mass regularly - I think more for logistical reasons than anything else) takes her own interpretation of contraception, and feels that physical barrier methods such as condoms are acceptable (to her) but not the Pill or such things that prevent implantation post-fertilisation. That makes sense to me.
the whole NFP reasoning is hard to wrap ones head around, though one argument is that the non-fertile period is a gift that a couple chooses to take advantage of and is a different animal that sex while fertile. Personally, I think it's kind of dumb to philosophically categorize fertile and non-fertile sex, as is is doesn't all grow from the same place.
In any case, we still do practice it exclusively. we can talk about that privately if you want.
brings to mind how I understand even less the people who are thick in planning a wedding, but say they aren't "officially" engaged yet because the supposedly necessary proposal hasn't happened, and the only reason that hasn't happened is that the dude is saving for a ring.
But being engaged for a year before you even think of setting a date, and then setting that date for 18 months time? I don't get it :)
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It's a similar thought process as to my lack of understanding on the church's position on natural family planning, is the sin not in the intention rather than the physical object used? The intention with natural family planning is still to not get pregnant so I'm not sure where the logic is in the church's position. Other than you can turn it on it's head and use it to try and get pregnant, which you certainly can't do with other contraception.
My point? Surely the action is largely in the decision?
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Now obviously I'm not a believer in the procreation-only end of sex, and don't agree with the Church's position on that, but yeah, if you're going to have that as a tenet, surely it should be all or nothing? Daft.
A friend of mine who also identifies strongly as Catholic (though she doesn't attend Mass regularly - I think more for logistical reasons than anything else) takes her own interpretation of contraception, and feels that physical barrier methods such as condoms are acceptable (to her) but not the Pill or such things that prevent implantation post-fertilisation. That makes sense to me.
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In any case, we still do practice it exclusively. we can talk about that privately if you want.
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