No more thinking
I am not having a good day today. I'm slowly regressing into the person I so badly wanted to get away from. Of course, this is no fault of my own, I just have to deal with it for another week or two. However, it is ruining everything around me. I have been cranky, bitchy and emotional for the past week. I just want to lock myself up in a closet until this all passes by. I don't want to talk to anyone, or deal with anyone. It's too hard. I feel everthing crumbling beneath my feet, and I'm just waiting to sink through. No one can relate to me right now, so it's hard for me to talk to anyone. I have the sense that I have no one. This isn't true, but it's how I feel now. No one understands me and no one cares enough to truly try to understand me.
At times I think my expectations are too high. I expect people to do so much, but I get disappointed because I'm not realistic about it. Why do I keep doing this to myself? There's just no point in it. This is why I want to hide for the next couple weeks--because I can't control myself. I'm getting upset over stupid things that I wouldn't normally get upset about. I've been so emotional that I cry when I watch Family Feud. Yes, Family Feud. When the family wins. Yep. This is pathetic Meghan.
I feel like I'm back at square one. How the hell did this happen? I hate myself right now.