(no subject)
Haven't done one of these in forever.
So last night ws offically one of the worst nights
of my fucking life.
Ryan[new boyfriend] woke up yesterday wth an illergic reaction to
something he had ate or a bug bite of some sort.
so he looked like a 400 pound chinese man when he woke up. hah
anyways. the benadyl just made it puffier.
i nly texted him for like 5 mins.
he told me he would call me when he got a chance.
well he never ended up calling me.
he pretty much ignored my call all night. unless
his phone was acting up again.
i passed out for prob like 30 mins when i had a dream he died.
i woke up in a cold sweat and tears. i had a hard time sleeping after that.
its now 8:15 and still no answer. i feel like a crazy girlfriend b.c i called he texted him like 45984859485 million times to find out if he was still alive.
i prayed last night for like an hour.
he means so much to me.
we have only been together for a month official but alost 3 months all together.
im falling for him. he doesnt want to find love at his age so i have to bottle up my emotions and not show him how much i truley do care...
im scared still. i mean i talked to ashley and she said he was fine.
: [ just wish he would tell me he was.
why me though why cant i be fucking happy?
when im with him he makes me so fucking happy.
i lovecuddeling and watching movies with him.
i love how funny he is.
he doesnt have to say a word but somehow he still makes me smile.
he wants to see me do good.
idk just wish i made him feel the way he makes me feel.
i suck.
So last night ws offically one of the worst nights
of my fucking life.
Ryan[new boyfriend] woke up yesterday wth an illergic reaction to
something he had ate or a bug bite of some sort.
so he looked like a 400 pound chinese man when he woke up. hah
anyways. the benadyl just made it puffier.
i nly texted him for like 5 mins.
he told me he would call me when he got a chance.
well he never ended up calling me.
he pretty much ignored my call all night. unless
his phone was acting up again.
i passed out for prob like 30 mins when i had a dream he died.
i woke up in a cold sweat and tears. i had a hard time sleeping after that.
its now 8:15 and still no answer. i feel like a crazy girlfriend b.c i called he texted him like 45984859485 million times to find out if he was still alive.
i prayed last night for like an hour.
he means so much to me.
we have only been together for a month official but alost 3 months all together.
im falling for him. he doesnt want to find love at his age so i have to bottle up my emotions and not show him how much i truley do care...
im scared still. i mean i talked to ashley and she said he was fine.
: [ just wish he would tell me he was.
why me though why cant i be fucking happy?
when im with him he makes me so fucking happy.
i lovecuddeling and watching movies with him.
i love how funny he is.
he doesnt have to say a word but somehow he still makes me smile.
he wants to see me do good.
idk just wish i made him feel the way he makes me feel.
i suck.