(no subject)
So in the last week, my mother has proceeded to tell me I am worthless, that my life is meaningless, that I am not only fucking up my own life but everyone I come into contact with, Oh and I am fat and need to lose some weight. The last comment hurt me as much as anything else because she knows how I struggled with eating disorders when I was in high school....I'm still really self concious about all of it....and I can't believe she actually told one of her children they were worthless....i must be worthless because I am going to college and working full time and paying almost all of my own bills. that must be it. Plus she is always comparing me to Melissa, you know, my second oldest sister who dated her ex-bf for two years, was apart from him for a month and then started to date his best friend. Dated his best friend for 3 months before getting engaged and got married six months later, 2 months before Michelle who had been planning hers for a year. Oh and they were living in my parents living room before they got married, and shacking up there but why can't i be more like her? Gee I wonder.
On a good note, things with Chris are going ok, lol he actually told me like 3 times yesterday love you, and i was just like uh huh sure, and he kinda acted like he was mad that i didn't believe him, lol but I don't yet, he's still got to prove a little more. At one point he was like, what no love you too? And I was like no, cause you didn't really mean it! But he said he did so we'll see. lol but he was teasing me about "hey you better start looking for a ring, I was like whatever. lol he was like no I'm serious. I want you to have my baby and I said we didn't necessarily have to get married to have a baby and he was like, no that's the way it's supposed to happen so you'd better start looking for a ring. lol I was like that is a great reason to want to marry somebody so they can have your baby! lol
He was like whatever, you know you love me. lol And I pointed out that we weren't even dating yet he was joking about a ring, and he said yeah, but I'm prepared to wait this one out this time, and he goes, so how long is it going to take you to come around? lol
~Sigh~ Life is so intersting, isn't it?
Ciao! Meg
On a good note, things with Chris are going ok, lol he actually told me like 3 times yesterday love you, and i was just like uh huh sure, and he kinda acted like he was mad that i didn't believe him, lol but I don't yet, he's still got to prove a little more. At one point he was like, what no love you too? And I was like no, cause you didn't really mean it! But he said he did so we'll see. lol but he was teasing me about "hey you better start looking for a ring, I was like whatever. lol he was like no I'm serious. I want you to have my baby and I said we didn't necessarily have to get married to have a baby and he was like, no that's the way it's supposed to happen so you'd better start looking for a ring. lol I was like that is a great reason to want to marry somebody so they can have your baby! lol
He was like whatever, you know you love me. lol And I pointed out that we weren't even dating yet he was joking about a ring, and he said yeah, but I'm prepared to wait this one out this time, and he goes, so how long is it going to take you to come around? lol
~Sigh~ Life is so intersting, isn't it?
Ciao! Meg