More HiiyoAto Ficcage...sick of them yet?
8. Sunset
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I prefer sunset. Maybe because I can enjoy it more. I can savor it more than the dawn. It’s strange. Maybe it’s because the mystery that comes with twilight and the night. The Shadows that grow. The coolness of the moonlight. But watching the sky burn with that fire at night soothes my soul. I remember when I was younger and my brother almost had me convinced that if you were on the water you could hear the sun hiss as it hit the ocean.
Hey I was four….give me a break.
That and when I am watching it you will usually come in behind me with tea and wrap your arms around me and rest your head against mine. And we will stand there and watch the sun sink into the shadows. Watching the shadows slowly creep over the world and us…
Then you will pull me inside and tell me I going to freeze if I stand out there. When we are at my mother’s you will climb onto the roof to join me. WE have fallen into a napping sleep up there more than once. I loved that.
So yeah….I prefer sunset to sunrise.
6. Anniversary
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One year.
It’s been a year since that first date at the tea house. I took you there tonight. You laughed and this time there was no face off over our table and the hostess didn’t blush when you held my hand. We sat closer together and it was a good night.
Your part of the night was dinner and gods I still love that French place. It was nice for once to stay in a hotel in Tokyo. To not have to deal with my mother or your father. I don’t think anyone knew where we were. That was nice too… to have you all to myself…
One year….it doesn’t’ seem like it’s been that long. We dated….we moved in together…we fought, made up, and I am still attempting to teach you to cook. I maintain you will be able to one day. The night was nice - and I am looking forward to taking our extended trip during the next school trip. Somewhere blissfully warm. With fruity rum drinks. And no cell phone service.
Happy Anniversary Kei…
Now how to top this next year…hmmm…
5. Do you remember...
11. Wait for me...
35. Eternity
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Do you remember our first kiss?
Do you remember the first time I spent the night?
Do you remember…?
I do. I remember things I am sure you don’t. I remember how it felt to hold your hand. I remember how it felt to have you hold me just because you wanted to. I remember…I remember you. Even though you have have been gone for a year now and I am alone. I still buy that tea you loved because I have been doing it for fifty years now. I give it to the neighbor girl - the one you taught to make tea? Kana? She smiles and we have tea together.
I think she is humoring me.
Do you remember how it felt to dance with me in the living room in our first place we got together?
Do you remember how it felt when you got your first office at the university and you called me to tell me all about your crappy office chair?
Gods Kei…wait for me. I don’t want to go if you won’t be there smirking and asking what took me so long. I will be coming lover. I promise. But I also promised you I would enjoy life. It’s just harder than I thought without you here. But you know me and goals. And it’s not like you are gone. I still talk to you at night.
Just don’t forget me…please? Even if you can’t remember it all…don’t forget me. You promised me eternity - and I don’t want to have to spend a large chunk of it reminding you.
Do you remember promising me that?
Do you remember me holding your hand that last night?
Do you remember…?
18. Tears
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Seeing the announcement from Keigo’s father in the paper announcing his son’s ‘joyous’ engagement to a colleagues daughter had made my heart clench. I knew he said it was nothing. I trusted him. I did. I was madly in love with the man. But seeing it in print? Like that? No warning? My heart clenched. See, I had seen her and she seemed nice enough. Typical. Made it harder to avidly dislike her. But I did it. Hey, I set a goal and I reach it.
But the man she was sitting with was mine. But Keigo wasn’t 25. So I wasn’t able to say much. I promised him I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t jeopardize his money from his mother like that. I wouldn’t. No matter how many times I wanted to call or visit his father and tear him limb from limb for hurting Kei like he did.
These weren’t tears in my eyes. They weren’t there. I know Kei loves me. I waited him out and I loved him. I can wait this out. I will blink rapidly and avoid the phone for a few days - Shinji and Gakuto will be calling to voice their opinion. I can’t deal with that yet. All I can deal with is putting the paper down and finishing my term paper. I am not crying. I don’t cry over something I know is false. Because in a few hours Keigo will be back from classes and a few hours after that I will fall asleep all curled up with him.
But…if it gets to the wedding day - I am kidnapping him after I punch his father out. In front of the church, and then tell him what I REALLY think of him.
Hmmm….the idea has possibilities….