(no subject)
so, how about 2005, eh? i've been doing some thinking and reflecting and all that bullshit lately, and i'm definitely in a much better place, physically and mentally, than i was a year ago. i grew up a lot this year and figured out lots of shit about myself, my friends, and life in general. i'm not going to bore any of you with specifics; most of them aren't livejournal-appropriate anyway. but a lot has been going on internally and externally in my life, and i'm a lot better off for it.
so, i spent a week in new york city visiting hayley, who is one of my best friends. needless to say it was an amazing week. i also hung out with my buddy jess from smith, who came along as i got my third tattoo. it's a little yin yang on my right ankle, and i love it. (and for those of you who are thinking "that's really lame and cliche," i'm well aware of this. but it is very meaningful to me, and i didn't get it to please anyone but myself.) i go to nyc a lot to visit hayley (and i'll live there soon!), but this was definitely the best trip. so between visiting siena at her house in vermont, and seeing my beloved hayley again, it was a quality winter break.
only 14 days of school left for me! on the one hand, i'm overjoyed at the prospect of not having to see most of the people there again till september (and some never again!). but on the other hand, there are a few people there i'm going to miss a shitload...you know who you are...as well as all my teachers. recently, i've come to realize that BB&N, as far as private schools go, really isn't that bad. the only aspect i really don't like, besides most of the people, is the emphasis on sports as opposed to art, but eh, what can ya do. i've stopped slacking off and begun to make an effort in all my classes, and it has paid off. i really, really love all my teachers without exception, and i've enjoyed all my classes. i'm just as shocked as you all to hear myself say it, but i'm gonna miss school. junior year has been one of the best years of my life; the play was definitely a highlight, and i became really close with some cool people who i barely knew before. i went to a few amazing protests and became an integral part of the boston antiwar movement, as well as the boston socialist alternative. i found what i'd been looking for pretty much my whole life...something to believe in and devote my life to. cheesey? very. true? yes. it's ironic...just when i feel i have so much here, i'm leaving. of course i'm extremely excited about cityterm, but it's all pretty goddamn bittersweet.
i'll also enter cityterm with mixed feelings. my biggest fear is that i won't like the kids there. it's a very expensive program; even with financial aid from both BB&N and cityterm itself, i had to contribute all the money i earned working practically full time at formaggio's last year. so i'm terrified it will be a bunch of spoiled rich kids, just like at BB&N, with no perspective, experience, or independent thoughts. lots of the kids are from the midwest and texas, so i'm also terrified that the stereotypes in my head will be true: that they'll be moronic, bush supporting small town middle-america fuckheads who have never seen homeless people and are afraid of the subway. that is the only thing i'm nervous about. yes, they're all huge, whopping stereotypes, but i'm INVITING the kids there to break them down. but even if the kids there aren't any better than those at BB&N, at least it'll be a fresh start, a change of scenery, and a much cooler and more interesting program.
anywho, this may be my last livejournal entry, or at least one of the last. i'm considering deleting it, mainly because just because the more i read livejournal, the more i'm realizing how fucking lame it is. also, even though i make a point not to write anything personal or private, i don't like the idea of anybody who wants to being able to read it. it was fun for a while, but i just don't care about what most people write anymore. i'm sorry, but it's true. but we'll see. it could be a good way to keep in touch while i'm away, at least.
the end. have a happy 2005, everybody.
and ps, i have been listening to nothing but modest mouse for weeks.
so, i spent a week in new york city visiting hayley, who is one of my best friends. needless to say it was an amazing week. i also hung out with my buddy jess from smith, who came along as i got my third tattoo. it's a little yin yang on my right ankle, and i love it. (and for those of you who are thinking "that's really lame and cliche," i'm well aware of this. but it is very meaningful to me, and i didn't get it to please anyone but myself.) i go to nyc a lot to visit hayley (and i'll live there soon!), but this was definitely the best trip. so between visiting siena at her house in vermont, and seeing my beloved hayley again, it was a quality winter break.
only 14 days of school left for me! on the one hand, i'm overjoyed at the prospect of not having to see most of the people there again till september (and some never again!). but on the other hand, there are a few people there i'm going to miss a shitload...you know who you are...as well as all my teachers. recently, i've come to realize that BB&N, as far as private schools go, really isn't that bad. the only aspect i really don't like, besides most of the people, is the emphasis on sports as opposed to art, but eh, what can ya do. i've stopped slacking off and begun to make an effort in all my classes, and it has paid off. i really, really love all my teachers without exception, and i've enjoyed all my classes. i'm just as shocked as you all to hear myself say it, but i'm gonna miss school. junior year has been one of the best years of my life; the play was definitely a highlight, and i became really close with some cool people who i barely knew before. i went to a few amazing protests and became an integral part of the boston antiwar movement, as well as the boston socialist alternative. i found what i'd been looking for pretty much my whole life...something to believe in and devote my life to. cheesey? very. true? yes. it's ironic...just when i feel i have so much here, i'm leaving. of course i'm extremely excited about cityterm, but it's all pretty goddamn bittersweet.
i'll also enter cityterm with mixed feelings. my biggest fear is that i won't like the kids there. it's a very expensive program; even with financial aid from both BB&N and cityterm itself, i had to contribute all the money i earned working practically full time at formaggio's last year. so i'm terrified it will be a bunch of spoiled rich kids, just like at BB&N, with no perspective, experience, or independent thoughts. lots of the kids are from the midwest and texas, so i'm also terrified that the stereotypes in my head will be true: that they'll be moronic, bush supporting small town middle-america fuckheads who have never seen homeless people and are afraid of the subway. that is the only thing i'm nervous about. yes, they're all huge, whopping stereotypes, but i'm INVITING the kids there to break them down. but even if the kids there aren't any better than those at BB&N, at least it'll be a fresh start, a change of scenery, and a much cooler and more interesting program.
anywho, this may be my last livejournal entry, or at least one of the last. i'm considering deleting it, mainly because just because the more i read livejournal, the more i'm realizing how fucking lame it is. also, even though i make a point not to write anything personal or private, i don't like the idea of anybody who wants to being able to read it. it was fun for a while, but i just don't care about what most people write anymore. i'm sorry, but it's true. but we'll see. it could be a good way to keep in touch while i'm away, at least.
the end. have a happy 2005, everybody.
and ps, i have been listening to nothing but modest mouse for weeks.