the golden road
getting mind and body mixed up...i can't tell if i have a headache, or a lifeache, or what the problem is. half the time everything's amazing, almost excessively and frighteningly so, and the other half more than makes up for the good.
after seeing a half-dead pigeon pitifully twitching on the sidewalk today, and then reading in "The Things They Carried" about a guy who shoots an innocent baby water buffalo just cause he's upset his friend died, i can't stand it any more (more). [the VU owns my soul] so i'm gonna do the whole vegan thang again, but this time for serious. i feel so fucking hypocritical being really into animal rights and then eating dairy. it's time for shit to change.
i watched legitimate tv last night for the first time in a really long time. granted, it was only cause the dresden dolls were on at the end of the show, but still. i shut that whole aspect of american culture out of my life as best i could for such a long time, and now upon seeing it again, i couldn't even believe it was real, and not just some saturday night live parody. and i've never been more disgusted with this whole culture where midgets exploit their height for money and fat people degrade and demean themselves on network tv for money, and what complete slaves so many people have begun. and the worst part is, people like that rarely even realize it. i wanted to fucking puke. america, and to a certain extent much of western culture as a whole, has gone to hell beyond the piont of redemption. i don't understand how anybody can take this fucking shithole of a country seriously, let alone be "proud to be an american." every time i see bumper stickers or shirts or anything bearing that phrase i just feel embarrassed for them. because being american is not something to be proud of. people have called me un-patriotic as an insult, which i don't understand -- you're damn fucking right i'm not proud to be an american. sure, there are some redeeming qualities about the country: various freedoms and equalities (although those are questionable), or at least on the surface, that don't exist in several other cultures. i don't take those things for granted -- i'm not exactly packing my bag about to board a plane for iraq. and i love cambridge, and boston, and parts of new york city, and vermont, and although i've never been there, san fransisco looks amazing. but i don't know, i'm pretty sure there's nothing anybody could do to restore america's conscience and un-corrupt it. because i don't want anything to do with this fucking sick, morally corrupt, war-loving asshole of a country where freedom of speech, expression, and lifestyle don't exist anymore, and the government has replaced free-thought with fucking lies and conspiracies.
and the worst part is, even though i know it's not the case, sometimes i feel like i'm completely alone.
after seeing a half-dead pigeon pitifully twitching on the sidewalk today, and then reading in "The Things They Carried" about a guy who shoots an innocent baby water buffalo just cause he's upset his friend died, i can't stand it any more (more). [the VU owns my soul] so i'm gonna do the whole vegan thang again, but this time for serious. i feel so fucking hypocritical being really into animal rights and then eating dairy. it's time for shit to change.
i watched legitimate tv last night for the first time in a really long time. granted, it was only cause the dresden dolls were on at the end of the show, but still. i shut that whole aspect of american culture out of my life as best i could for such a long time, and now upon seeing it again, i couldn't even believe it was real, and not just some saturday night live parody. and i've never been more disgusted with this whole culture where midgets exploit their height for money and fat people degrade and demean themselves on network tv for money, and what complete slaves so many people have begun. and the worst part is, people like that rarely even realize it. i wanted to fucking puke. america, and to a certain extent much of western culture as a whole, has gone to hell beyond the piont of redemption. i don't understand how anybody can take this fucking shithole of a country seriously, let alone be "proud to be an american." every time i see bumper stickers or shirts or anything bearing that phrase i just feel embarrassed for them. because being american is not something to be proud of. people have called me un-patriotic as an insult, which i don't understand -- you're damn fucking right i'm not proud to be an american. sure, there are some redeeming qualities about the country: various freedoms and equalities (although those are questionable), or at least on the surface, that don't exist in several other cultures. i don't take those things for granted -- i'm not exactly packing my bag about to board a plane for iraq. and i love cambridge, and boston, and parts of new york city, and vermont, and although i've never been there, san fransisco looks amazing. but i don't know, i'm pretty sure there's nothing anybody could do to restore america's conscience and un-corrupt it. because i don't want anything to do with this fucking sick, morally corrupt, war-loving asshole of a country where freedom of speech, expression, and lifestyle don't exist anymore, and the government has replaced free-thought with fucking lies and conspiracies.
and the worst part is, even though i know it's not the case, sometimes i feel like i'm completely alone.