Can't describe it...
I can't believe the support that I have.
Em, I know you haven't been able to get my message but everything's okay. Deanna was supposed to leave for Virginia after work today and actually took the later train just to spend time with me. Talk about the sweetest thing that I never expected. I can't believe I could ever in my life find one person who would do that for me. On the other hand, there's Katie, who not only would never do that but would always find a way to make me feel worse. Thank God I never have to deal with that fucking bitch again.
Then there's Jak, where even though we haven't talked in like months he still wants to hear everything about me first and make sure I'm okay. Even from so far away I still have this friend who will always be there. I just find it unbelievable and I'm so lucky.
Then there's my mom. And my sister.
My mom is really amazing. Every single thing I say she listens and gives me her advice and just never ceases to stop believing that I'll find my way someday and I'll lead a good life. She never gives up on me or tells me I'm not worth it, it's always just the positive to get me out of these rutts.
Then my sister. I was so sad tonight because I thought that she didn't even care. I mean, I know that I've been feeling low for awhile and I knew things with Dan were coming to an end, but I still needed the support. I just wanted her to help make me feel alive again and like wanted. Then I walk in the door tonight, kinda down still but feeling much better cause Deanna took me out all night and then my mom tells me my sister's taking me out for a girl's night out tomorrow night. I just feel guilty. I lose sight of all of this everytime I step into a new relationship and just forget my family loves me and concentrate on trying to get this new person to love me. And it's so wrong.
I'm sorry everyone.
Em, I know you haven't been able to get my message but everything's okay. Deanna was supposed to leave for Virginia after work today and actually took the later train just to spend time with me. Talk about the sweetest thing that I never expected. I can't believe I could ever in my life find one person who would do that for me. On the other hand, there's Katie, who not only would never do that but would always find a way to make me feel worse. Thank God I never have to deal with that fucking bitch again.
Then there's Jak, where even though we haven't talked in like months he still wants to hear everything about me first and make sure I'm okay. Even from so far away I still have this friend who will always be there. I just find it unbelievable and I'm so lucky.
Then there's my mom. And my sister.
My mom is really amazing. Every single thing I say she listens and gives me her advice and just never ceases to stop believing that I'll find my way someday and I'll lead a good life. She never gives up on me or tells me I'm not worth it, it's always just the positive to get me out of these rutts.
Then my sister. I was so sad tonight because I thought that she didn't even care. I mean, I know that I've been feeling low for awhile and I knew things with Dan were coming to an end, but I still needed the support. I just wanted her to help make me feel alive again and like wanted. Then I walk in the door tonight, kinda down still but feeling much better cause Deanna took me out all night and then my mom tells me my sister's taking me out for a girl's night out tomorrow night. I just feel guilty. I lose sight of all of this everytime I step into a new relationship and just forget my family loves me and concentrate on trying to get this new person to love me. And it's so wrong.
I'm sorry everyone.