got from my blog.... i wrote it last nite before i tried to get some sleep

Feb 21, 2006 07:55

im tired of crying... i really am... ever since i found out my cuzin jeff has gotten worse thats all i been doing...off and on... and i hate it... i just dont understand someone who is a doctor, has had nothing wrong with all of a sudden wake up on christmas day and have to go to the hosiptal... and they run test and they find cancer... where though... oh that would be on his bladder.... soo they remove his bladder and some lymph nodes.and make him a new bladder...he was getting better last week and was sent home.. his lymph nodes had caner in them... then he gets worse goes back in for more testing today and they find cancer in his stomach... i dont get it.. i just dont...

i know i have my problems and i have had them for almost 2 years....and i have desided to keep it hush hush from my family...my aunts and uncles and cuzins they dont know... i dont want them to know... i rather worry about jeff then care whats going on with my body... i dont want them to be like well since jeff has problems you wanna take the focus off of jeff and put it on you... i dont want that.. they dont know about my laparscopy... they think im doing just fine...going to college, working... healthy... heck i dont even think they know about my tattoos...they might know about 1 of them but not all 3 of them...im in alot of pain right now.. that sharp pain yea its here... but im not going to worry about that.... my focus is on my cuzin.. yea sure i can only get worse cuz of this.. but i know what my option is and im not ready to tell them to take out my uterus... i cant do it...

well im just going to go and pass out... thanks for listening
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