She wants to go home but nobodies home. Thats where she lies broken inside
I have been going through my days like a zombie. Wake up, go to work, work for 9 hours straight (no lunch or smoke breaks) come home listening to every depressing song I own (they take up most of the space on my phone).
I have not shed a tear since last year but in my head I have been screaming. I feel numb. I don't eat, I sleep when ever possible...
I have been going out on dates or whatever you want to call anything else I did for the soul purpose of feeling something. Trying to convince the world that I am happy in hopes that I would fool even myself.
I just sit here and stair at the wall or listen to songs till I am tired of them.
I am tired of my life and I know that even if I change something like my hair, my make up, my clothes, I am still the same me.
Who smiles on the outside to hide her broken heart.
I don't like who I am or what I have become.
I want to change so rapidly, I want to feel the storm wash over my world and destroy everything, change everything, but there is no wind to start that storm... I feel no spark to start my blazing fire.
I want to feel alive.
On a side note... I really fall for the wrong men.
Love is just never worth it.
Another side note. I spell checked this before posting it and it had no spelling errors. Those of you who knew me for years now would know what an accomplishment that is!!
I have not shed a tear since last year but in my head I have been screaming. I feel numb. I don't eat, I sleep when ever possible...
I have been going out on dates or whatever you want to call anything else I did for the soul purpose of feeling something. Trying to convince the world that I am happy in hopes that I would fool even myself.
I just sit here and stair at the wall or listen to songs till I am tired of them.
I am tired of my life and I know that even if I change something like my hair, my make up, my clothes, I am still the same me.
Who smiles on the outside to hide her broken heart.
I don't like who I am or what I have become.
I want to change so rapidly, I want to feel the storm wash over my world and destroy everything, change everything, but there is no wind to start that storm... I feel no spark to start my blazing fire.
I want to feel alive.
On a side note... I really fall for the wrong men.
Love is just never worth it.
Another side note. I spell checked this before posting it and it had no spelling errors. Those of you who knew me for years now would know what an accomplishment that is!!