Oh I see...
I was walking to campus from M's today and was admiring the beautiful spring flowers, the trees beginning to bloom, and listening to the birds chirping in the trees. I had this strange feeling, which I have had every now and again the past couple of weeks, everything just seemed so new and bright and beautiful and I couldn't place what it was that made this spring seem different. Then I realized what it was - last spring I was in Senegal. by the time I got back I had missed some of the initial bursting into life glory of spring that I am seeing again this year. I am sad when I think about that experience being over, but I'm thankful for the lovely weather, flowers, and colors.
I'm feeling a bit stressed about graduating at the end of this month, mostly at this point because I need to convince myself that I need to do lots before finals. I am still in the process of applying to Peace Corps, which is also stressful. I hate to admit my faults, but I am envious of people who don't have piles of loans like I do. I mean private loans, I would gladly take more Stafford and Perkins loans over the private ones I have. I just see people squander money on frivolous things and it makes me angry because I want to join the PC and help others and financial issues could prevent me from doing that.
But then I remind myself that in a lot of ways having to make my own way has made me a better person, and I appreciate things more because I work hard to earn them. I'm not trying to condemn people for having money, by any means, I'm only ever upset when I see people who don't use it wisely and throw it away. Its just been especially frustrating working out all of my loan issues for PC. I just think its absurd that you wouldn't let someone defer their loan payments while they are serving as a PCV. Absurd.
I'm feeling a bit stressed about graduating at the end of this month, mostly at this point because I need to convince myself that I need to do lots before finals. I am still in the process of applying to Peace Corps, which is also stressful. I hate to admit my faults, but I am envious of people who don't have piles of loans like I do. I mean private loans, I would gladly take more Stafford and Perkins loans over the private ones I have. I just see people squander money on frivolous things and it makes me angry because I want to join the PC and help others and financial issues could prevent me from doing that.
But then I remind myself that in a lot of ways having to make my own way has made me a better person, and I appreciate things more because I work hard to earn them. I'm not trying to condemn people for having money, by any means, I'm only ever upset when I see people who don't use it wisely and throw it away. Its just been especially frustrating working out all of my loan issues for PC. I just think its absurd that you wouldn't let someone defer their loan payments while they are serving as a PCV. Absurd.