Looking back on my life...
Compared to most people, I had a fairly good childhood. Yes, we were neglected by my mother. We were verbally and emotionally abused. But it was better than what Jon had to go through. When I met him, he was house bound. He couldn't leave the house alone. He would literally shake in situations that I considered normal. His anxiety was so bad it was hard to deal with, just being his partner. But we got through it. I built him up in as many ways as possible. Little did either of us know why he was as bad as he was. This past July Jon was hit wtih a spiritual "dump" that has since changed our lives forever. He has grown so much and things are different than they were. We are working through things we have stuffed down and ignored for so long. He is just now remembering the things that has happened to him as a child. His family is beyond evil. HIs entire family is fucked up. We've spent the last 3 years just putting up with their shit. Then he remembers. He remembers why he has this anxiety in the first place. He doesn't have social anxiety. He has trauma. It's a response to not ever wanting to be humiliated again. I am so mad at his family. I look at his brother and sister. How fucked up they are. His sister claims his brother raped her for YEARS and the family didn't acknowledge it, and they kept letting it happen. His brother has then gone off to violate his own children in the same way. NOW we are starting to realize that his sister has been doing it to her son also. How in the fuck? I just don't get it. It's sad. I know I don't want anything to do with these people. That alone is just Becka and Paul and how fucked up they are. Jon isn't like that. Different things happened to him as a child. What, I don't exactly know, but it fucked him up in a different way then they are. This is all coming from his father's side. His dad is evil, too. He just can't see it. There is no way in hell that his dad didn't know that this shit was going on. His dad just turned the other cheek and ignored it. I seriously want to kill him and his sisters. They are the worst kinds of human beings. And that is just the way they are. Miserable fucking monsters. Even without knowing that they did fucked up things, they are still terrible. Not the kind of people you want to be around. We have almost successfully gotten them out of our lives completely. Bettyann isn't allowed to come over because she stole Jon's mother's social security number and gave it to Paul. So Paul had mom cremated and ran off with her ashes. Becka was pissed, and blew up and now the guardians wont let her come around. Rightfully so. She didn't do a damn thing unless she would benefit from it. So she got something out of it.. UHHHG this fucking family. I can't wait to get out of here. Isaiah will NOT be around these people. Fuck no. I can't believe we still live here, but we do. It's free. Well, as in we don't pay rent. Living here is not fucking free. It is exhausting. meh. I could go on and on. I just wanted to get some of this out before I showered.