(no subject)
I guess you can call this anxiety. Paranoia? Maybe..I mean.. Whatever it is I dont like it...
Many things I really just don't understand. I guess some things I'm not supposed to understand.
It's hard to put my feelings, my thoughts even, into words. I've been having that problem for a while now. I used to be able to sit here and just write whatever it was that I was thinking about. Not so much anymore.. Im not even sure what it is that Im thinking. Its so many things at once it ends up getting all jumbled.
Slow down.
Lets see if I can focus on one thing.
White screen.
Words and letters
A red folder
The sound of a fork, probably on a bowl... I didnt see if It was a bowl or a plate. I assume a bowl.
The only one thing I can focus on currently is someone elses words. Song lyrics.
Theres a white lilac bush, it's the first thing I see when I look out the window. I got the pleasure of seeing a female cardinal. Most of the time you only see the males. The bright red streak as they fly by. Cool.. When there's one, there's two. When you see a male cardinal, the female is always close by. You don't really notice because she isn't bright red. Instead a brown, with a slight tint of red in few places.
Isnt it neat that in the process of evolution there has become a vast difference in male and female birds. The male birds are brightly colored. It serves a purpose. Not only is it to attract a female's attention, it is also to protect the female as well. The bright colors draw attention.
Lets fast forward an hour. Im a fucking asshole.
Many things I really just don't understand. I guess some things I'm not supposed to understand.
It's hard to put my feelings, my thoughts even, into words. I've been having that problem for a while now. I used to be able to sit here and just write whatever it was that I was thinking about. Not so much anymore.. Im not even sure what it is that Im thinking. Its so many things at once it ends up getting all jumbled.
Slow down.
Lets see if I can focus on one thing.
White screen.
Words and letters
A red folder
The sound of a fork, probably on a bowl... I didnt see if It was a bowl or a plate. I assume a bowl.
The only one thing I can focus on currently is someone elses words. Song lyrics.
Theres a white lilac bush, it's the first thing I see when I look out the window. I got the pleasure of seeing a female cardinal. Most of the time you only see the males. The bright red streak as they fly by. Cool.. When there's one, there's two. When you see a male cardinal, the female is always close by. You don't really notice because she isn't bright red. Instead a brown, with a slight tint of red in few places.
Isnt it neat that in the process of evolution there has become a vast difference in male and female birds. The male birds are brightly colored. It serves a purpose. Not only is it to attract a female's attention, it is also to protect the female as well. The bright colors draw attention.
Lets fast forward an hour. Im a fucking asshole.