i am addicted to sex and the city.
i've come to the conclusion that the reason i'm so ashamed of my recent misery is because no one (save for one person who is 600 miles away) has even acknowledged the fact that i've been so upset for the past week.
it's true that i do my best to pretend nothing happened and move on with my life, but the point of best friends is for them to know you in spite of whatever front you're putting on.
so i realized that i'm not only upset over my poor choices and what has happened, but also by the fact that no one has even so much as acknowledged my unhappiness, let alone offer a word of encouragement (again, save for the one). i really do hate to be a burden or feel like i'm bringing everyone down, but without my friends' support, i feel like they're just validating this self-loathing i've now accured. it's like they're acknowledging the fact that i have something to be ashamed of, but they're not going to say anything, just to be nice.
i decided that i'm obviously the only one who can do anything to make myself feel a little happier, so i took myself to a big expensive korean dinner and let people come along. that was fun, at least.
is that asking too much?
am i really just going crazy?
i've never felt so alone.
it's true that i do my best to pretend nothing happened and move on with my life, but the point of best friends is for them to know you in spite of whatever front you're putting on.
so i realized that i'm not only upset over my poor choices and what has happened, but also by the fact that no one has even so much as acknowledged my unhappiness, let alone offer a word of encouragement (again, save for the one). i really do hate to be a burden or feel like i'm bringing everyone down, but without my friends' support, i feel like they're just validating this self-loathing i've now accured. it's like they're acknowledging the fact that i have something to be ashamed of, but they're not going to say anything, just to be nice.
i decided that i'm obviously the only one who can do anything to make myself feel a little happier, so i took myself to a big expensive korean dinner and let people come along. that was fun, at least.
is that asking too much?
am i really just going crazy?
i've never felt so alone.