Goodbye Goodbye
Man, i was just thinking "i feel really sad, but can't put it into words and wish i could write my feelings down without people i don't really know very well reading it, like on facebook" then i remember....LIVEJOURNAL!
This week has been bittersweet.
monday was my last day to hang out with erica. She is so stinkin awesome. Through this time of most of my friends getting into serious and amazing relationships, and me in the lack of, she has brought so much joy into my life. we get along GREAT and we have a lot in common. We like doing random things, and being busy and doing things. we can talk about anything, and we are brutally honest with each other. Its awesome and sucks t the same time. Her leaving is great for her and i'm so excited for her to pursue her career and what she will be amazing at. However, being that we were only close for about 2 months, i dont know how the distance will support our growing baby friendship. Thus i am very sad she has left. But thankful for her to show me that there are amazing people in the world that i haven't met. Also, i have made of ton of friends through her.
Tuesday i said goodbye to nikki. this, i am not as sad about. She is one of my closest friends and i love her to death and we have lasted through a lot of things. I know that through distance and life we will always be there. However, i am sad she won't be around to go and chill with.
this morning i drove francisco to the airport and said goodbye to him. He came here yesterday from vegas, and we hung out all day. it was really fun. Back history...we dated and i got too attached and he strung me along and thought that i was "psycho" so that caused problems. but things ended and he left for 2 weeks for vegas and we didn't talk. then i met this other amazing guy who i really like, but yesterday pancho kissed me, (panchos a nickname for francisco) and i feel SO guilty about it. it's crappy. but i'm sad he left honestly. he wasn't the greatest guy, which i'm coming to realize, but he made me laugh. he didn't ever listen to anything i said though. so i rarely talked around him. which is weird for me. and so not an even relationship. but still, all this saying goodbye is making my heart really sad. and very heavy.
saturday i have another going away party, but for a girl i don't know very well, and she is going on summer project. So i'm not bummed for that, cause it goes so fast.
Ugh! i hate being sad! especially when i can't change it! it makes me want to stop meeting people and getting close to them just to save myself. but then again, the fun i had in meeting them outweighs the sad i feel now. mostly i think i'm mad at myself for the whole pancho thing. Oo and this new guy, ya, he is leaving for the marines sometime...so i get to say goodbye AGAIN! woo....
thank you livejournal for being there for me when i need something to write my feelings down.
This week has been bittersweet.
monday was my last day to hang out with erica. She is so stinkin awesome. Through this time of most of my friends getting into serious and amazing relationships, and me in the lack of, she has brought so much joy into my life. we get along GREAT and we have a lot in common. We like doing random things, and being busy and doing things. we can talk about anything, and we are brutally honest with each other. Its awesome and sucks t the same time. Her leaving is great for her and i'm so excited for her to pursue her career and what she will be amazing at. However, being that we were only close for about 2 months, i dont know how the distance will support our growing baby friendship. Thus i am very sad she has left. But thankful for her to show me that there are amazing people in the world that i haven't met. Also, i have made of ton of friends through her.
Tuesday i said goodbye to nikki. this, i am not as sad about. She is one of my closest friends and i love her to death and we have lasted through a lot of things. I know that through distance and life we will always be there. However, i am sad she won't be around to go and chill with.
this morning i drove francisco to the airport and said goodbye to him. He came here yesterday from vegas, and we hung out all day. it was really fun. Back history...we dated and i got too attached and he strung me along and thought that i was "psycho" so that caused problems. but things ended and he left for 2 weeks for vegas and we didn't talk. then i met this other amazing guy who i really like, but yesterday pancho kissed me, (panchos a nickname for francisco) and i feel SO guilty about it. it's crappy. but i'm sad he left honestly. he wasn't the greatest guy, which i'm coming to realize, but he made me laugh. he didn't ever listen to anything i said though. so i rarely talked around him. which is weird for me. and so not an even relationship. but still, all this saying goodbye is making my heart really sad. and very heavy.
saturday i have another going away party, but for a girl i don't know very well, and she is going on summer project. So i'm not bummed for that, cause it goes so fast.
Ugh! i hate being sad! especially when i can't change it! it makes me want to stop meeting people and getting close to them just to save myself. but then again, the fun i had in meeting them outweighs the sad i feel now. mostly i think i'm mad at myself for the whole pancho thing. Oo and this new guy, ya, he is leaving for the marines sometime...so i get to say goodbye AGAIN! woo....
thank you livejournal for being there for me when i need something to write my feelings down.