(no subject)
when you think about my life, the first thing that comes to mind is boring. i'm just a boring person, i now know why i work saturday nights till 2 in the morning, it's becasue the one saturday night i've been off since i started working there, was spent at my house downloading movies on my computer. cause i had no one to spend it with. my car is falling apart, and i want to buy a new one, but i need a steddy job. i want to work at the hospital, but no matter how many times i call them, they never seem to call me back. i have no motivation to do anything either. i don't even know anythign for sure about school, because i can't make a decision for the life of me. i'm thinking now, that i want to go away to school, far away, out of the state, so i can't come back home every weekend. i want to get away, but at the same time, i don't think i could ever bring myself to do it. ah i feel like i have all this shit figured out, then i question, is that what really is the best for me, but i can't answer my questions because i don't know. i'm just going to try to go wtih something. just pick one, and not look back.
today i'm gonna take my car to simon's and his dad is gonna see what he can do with it, i really appreciate the thought, but i hate the idea of taking help from others. which is stupid, caseu i need lots of it. i wish i could jsut quit my job, and not worry about needing a car. i hate working at snappy. i hate my car. i don't have a "last day" like all the other kids my age who are going off to college, andi think that's what i need, something to look forward too.
i feel so forign to everyone else, cause it seems like all of us are on pretty much the same path except for me. i'm way off to the side somewhere. i almsot wish i was still in high school because everything then seemed to be so definite.
today i'm gonna take my car to simon's and his dad is gonna see what he can do with it, i really appreciate the thought, but i hate the idea of taking help from others. which is stupid, caseu i need lots of it. i wish i could jsut quit my job, and not worry about needing a car. i hate working at snappy. i hate my car. i don't have a "last day" like all the other kids my age who are going off to college, andi think that's what i need, something to look forward too.
i feel so forign to everyone else, cause it seems like all of us are on pretty much the same path except for me. i'm way off to the side somewhere. i almsot wish i was still in high school because everything then seemed to be so definite.