decisions...
So after much thought, I have finally made a decision about the job. I've decided to take it. Between myself, my husband, close friends, and family, I will be making sure to keep on top of my health and to seriously evaluate how the job is affecting my health and to do something about it if it comes to that. So I called today and accepted the job. Done. I'm feeling pretty nervous about it. My new boss told me on the phone that she had hesitations about hiring me, as I'm so fresh out of school. Nothing like a comment like that to boost your confidence!!! Frick.
On another note, I finally decided to tell my Mom that Jord and I are trying to get pregnant. We had been fairly secretive about it up until this point. It felt really good to tell her though and to get her support. On a similar note, this whole not being able to get pregnant thing is getting pretty hard on me. I really noticed it yesterday. I was on facebook and one of my friends announced that she is expecting her second child at the end of September. There were a few tears. Don't get me wrong, I am so ridiculously happy for her. But at the same time it really sucks to watch others get to experience the things that you are trying so hard to experience and just aren't able to. It's hard. We had our third IUI this Saturday. If it doesn't work this time, we have to wait another 2 months before we can try again. I asked why, and apparantly the fertility drug they put you on at the same time as you try the IUI (called clomid) can cause cysts to form. These cysts will usually resolve themselves in a 2-month time frame, hence the 2 month wait. I really hope that we don't have to wait. It seems like all we do is wait. I try to stay optimistic, but it is hard at times. Everytime we get the IUI done, I always think "this is it!". And then I read WAY too much into symptoms, like heartburn, if I feel nauseous, if I'm tired, if I'm grumpy, if I'm lightheaded... My husband tends to take on the more skeptical approach that it will never happen. I guess we balance each other out that way.
All for now.