Spill.
I've been having angry dreams lately. They all involve me yelling at my mom. Last night I dreamt that I was getting married. At my grandparent's house, in their backyard, at night, in the snow.
I realized that I didn't have a bouquet or a garter so I ripped off ribbon off of some box and tied it around my leg. And, I tried to go to the grocery store before I was supposed to walk down the aisle. And I was yelling at my mom profusely again and again, and I was getting married to Ryan Atwood from the OC.
A few nights ago i was yelling at my mom for something else, but I don't remember what.
Maybe it's time to apologize. But, I'm stubborn as an ass.
My mom yelled at me for always calling to ask for money. Actually, I called her to tell her that I received my package, to say thanks, and to ask her if she could help me financially to find a flight to see Josiah. She told me that my dad said that it was my fault for going out to CA, so I was going to have to live with being apart. Thanks for being supportive. So she accused me of always calling and asking for money....and Actually, that was the first time that I have since I've been in LA. I've been working my ass off trying to live on my own and not depend on everyone else. I got this internship by myself. I'm working about 30 hrs for them...unpaid....and 32 at Starbucks. Most of my days go from 10:30am-11:00 pm.....working....6 days a week.
Anyway, her comment pissed me off. Also, I'm still bugged by the fact that my parents haven't come to visit me in over a year and a half. But yet they can take trips to fancy tropical places. Whatever.
I wish they would be supportive.
I wish that I had a car in LA.
I wish I didn't have to ride home at night.
I wish I would stop having dreams where someone carjacks me.
I wish you were here. I wish you would call. I wish we would stop fighting.
I wish I had money. I wish my friends were here.
I wish I were home.
I wish that I didn't have to use nasty rags to clean tables at work. I wish that people wouldn't be rude.
I wish people wouldn't be condescending to me at work as if I'm a high school drop-out, when in fact I'm trying to work my way through college.
I wish money weren't an issue in anything.
I wish I would get my butt out of bed to go to church on Sunday.
I wish we talked more.
I wish that I could go shopping and not have to buy microwaveable food.
I wish that I could take off work to see California and enjoy it, but I can't afford it.
I wish you weren't so far away.
I wish that people wouldn't ask for sugar and 200 degree coffee. There is sugar on the condiment bars and it's ridiculous that you can't do it yourself.
I wish I were paid to be a photographer.
I wish I had my dream job.
I wish you were here.
I wish that everything would just be okay, but it's not.
I realized that I didn't have a bouquet or a garter so I ripped off ribbon off of some box and tied it around my leg. And, I tried to go to the grocery store before I was supposed to walk down the aisle. And I was yelling at my mom profusely again and again, and I was getting married to Ryan Atwood from the OC.
A few nights ago i was yelling at my mom for something else, but I don't remember what.
Maybe it's time to apologize. But, I'm stubborn as an ass.
My mom yelled at me for always calling to ask for money. Actually, I called her to tell her that I received my package, to say thanks, and to ask her if she could help me financially to find a flight to see Josiah. She told me that my dad said that it was my fault for going out to CA, so I was going to have to live with being apart. Thanks for being supportive. So she accused me of always calling and asking for money....and Actually, that was the first time that I have since I've been in LA. I've been working my ass off trying to live on my own and not depend on everyone else. I got this internship by myself. I'm working about 30 hrs for them...unpaid....and 32 at Starbucks. Most of my days go from 10:30am-11:00 pm.....working....6 days a week.
Anyway, her comment pissed me off. Also, I'm still bugged by the fact that my parents haven't come to visit me in over a year and a half. But yet they can take trips to fancy tropical places. Whatever.
I wish they would be supportive.
I wish that I had a car in LA.
I wish I didn't have to ride home at night.
I wish I would stop having dreams where someone carjacks me.
I wish you were here. I wish you would call. I wish we would stop fighting.
I wish I had money. I wish my friends were here.
I wish I were home.
I wish that I didn't have to use nasty rags to clean tables at work. I wish that people wouldn't be rude.
I wish people wouldn't be condescending to me at work as if I'm a high school drop-out, when in fact I'm trying to work my way through college.
I wish money weren't an issue in anything.
I wish I would get my butt out of bed to go to church on Sunday.
I wish we talked more.
I wish that I could go shopping and not have to buy microwaveable food.
I wish that I could take off work to see California and enjoy it, but I can't afford it.
I wish you weren't so far away.
I wish that people wouldn't ask for sugar and 200 degree coffee. There is sugar on the condiment bars and it's ridiculous that you can't do it yourself.
I wish I were paid to be a photographer.
I wish I had my dream job.
I wish you were here.
I wish that everything would just be okay, but it's not.