i dont know what to do any more.......
some one save me! i have an ear infection that wont go away i am on all the med they gave me i cant take the pain medications because they make me loopy like i've smoked one to many joints with my brother..... and to night my body wont relax and when i try i start to twitch or shake uncontrollable. I'm afraid that lance will leave me and this causes me to cry because i love him and i know in my heart he wont but my brain keeps saying he will. and tonight as i was trying to go to sleep the only thought gong threw my mind was this shit is not worth it any more lance can do better then me so can chan...... i was mentally writing my good buy letter in my head and when i realized what i was doing i got angry at my self because i did it again i slipped back to the bottom of the pit that is my misery.......by the ancients i wish their was something i could do to keep these suicidal thought from my head but it just dose not seam to work... and the worst part is i cant go to the doctors i cant afford it cant get the medications i should be on because i cant afford it *curls up in to a little ball* i just wish i knew what to do about this..... i'm afraid that i will push lance away because of all the shit going on .... so scared right now and all i want to do other then sit here and post is take a walk on the interstate and play tag with the semi trucks but i wont i'll wait on it think on for another day hopefully i'll not have to deal with it thanks for listening who ever is out their