desire be desire go
sometime last week, i've started feeling really good again. i almost feel like that slump i was in is completely over and i couldn't be more happy about it. i wonder if it is coincidental that i finally got off my ass and started jogging again last week as well? i feel i have a spark again, motivation, thrills, a lust for life. very very happy about this.
i feel i'm ready for this year. this is going to sound so cheesy, but i am going to make this year all about myself. for the last 6 months of my life, maybe more, maybe all of last year even, i've been skating through it. kind of sitting in the backseat i guess, not making any big decisions or stepping up, simply going through the motions. not taking care of myself, being lazy. i don't want to do this anymore. AT ALL. i'm sick of it. my life, well-being, all of that is only going to be good if i make it good. i feel like i've been expecting life to hand me this with no effort at all. i am going to start working hard and finally achieving things again. i hope this feeling doesn't fade..
tomorrow i start my classes. i am taking 19 units and i'm scared. i may drop one class, shall see. i'm going to stick to drinking only on the weekends, not on nights when i have class. i've already limited it down a lot, drinking about 2x a week. i'm going to keep on jogging, not skip more than 2 days, period. tomorrow i'm getting the fattest pay check ever, i worked soso much these past 2 weeks and i'm going shopping i can't wait. i can't wait for this year. i've only had one cigarette in a week, !! and i don't have any plans to break that. i'm going to eventually find a cute boy to go on dates with, but honestly i am becoming more and more okay with not having this, i really am. it's worth the wait. almost everyday i can see myself living in san francisco more and more. i want to go on a trip to europe, i am going to start saving and i am going to reward myself with a trip. i am going to see so many more amazing concerts this year and strive to be a good person and not let anything negative bring me down, try not to anyway.
i feel i'm ready for this year. this is going to sound so cheesy, but i am going to make this year all about myself. for the last 6 months of my life, maybe more, maybe all of last year even, i've been skating through it. kind of sitting in the backseat i guess, not making any big decisions or stepping up, simply going through the motions. not taking care of myself, being lazy. i don't want to do this anymore. AT ALL. i'm sick of it. my life, well-being, all of that is only going to be good if i make it good. i feel like i've been expecting life to hand me this with no effort at all. i am going to start working hard and finally achieving things again. i hope this feeling doesn't fade..
tomorrow i start my classes. i am taking 19 units and i'm scared. i may drop one class, shall see. i'm going to stick to drinking only on the weekends, not on nights when i have class. i've already limited it down a lot, drinking about 2x a week. i'm going to keep on jogging, not skip more than 2 days, period. tomorrow i'm getting the fattest pay check ever, i worked soso much these past 2 weeks and i'm going shopping i can't wait. i can't wait for this year. i've only had one cigarette in a week, !! and i don't have any plans to break that. i'm going to eventually find a cute boy to go on dates with, but honestly i am becoming more and more okay with not having this, i really am. it's worth the wait. almost everyday i can see myself living in san francisco more and more. i want to go on a trip to europe, i am going to start saving and i am going to reward myself with a trip. i am going to see so many more amazing concerts this year and strive to be a good person and not let anything negative bring me down, try not to anyway.