....
i wish i wasn't so sad all the time. but lately i have been and it's getting really old really fast. i miss my mom and steve and hawaii. i have the best family ever.
i think i feel like i'm just not important to anyone anymore.. everyone has their signifs and their things going on and i have work and then nothing. and the people that i know i am most important to are thousnds of miles away. and that's depressing. at least i think this is part of it.
on another note, this morning when i was getting out of the shower (at approx. 625am-- too early for this type of thing) there was a giant spider on the wall. and i tried. i REALLY tried to get close so i could try and kill it but i literally had a panic attack. my heart races, i stiffen up, i get chills, i freak out.. and what sucks is that some people jsut don't get it and make fun of me for it. i don't even get it really but it happens. anyway, i was trying to will jon to wake up so i could tell him to kill it but he didn't wake up before i left so i left him a note on the bathroom door. so he killed it. he thought it was funny that i left a note. but what if he hadn't seen the spider and it was still there when i got home. ick.
i think i feel like i'm just not important to anyone anymore.. everyone has their signifs and their things going on and i have work and then nothing. and the people that i know i am most important to are thousnds of miles away. and that's depressing. at least i think this is part of it.
on another note, this morning when i was getting out of the shower (at approx. 625am-- too early for this type of thing) there was a giant spider on the wall. and i tried. i REALLY tried to get close so i could try and kill it but i literally had a panic attack. my heart races, i stiffen up, i get chills, i freak out.. and what sucks is that some people jsut don't get it and make fun of me for it. i don't even get it really but it happens. anyway, i was trying to will jon to wake up so i could tell him to kill it but he didn't wake up before i left so i left him a note on the bathroom door. so he killed it. he thought it was funny that i left a note. but what if he hadn't seen the spider and it was still there when i got home. ick.