Ignore this stupid entry. I just have a lot on my mind.
I'm not upset.. I just feel like getting all of this out.
I wish that some people understood how much it really hurts me. I've had to deal with rumors since I was in 8th grade. It may not seem that bad, but it is. And I'm so sick of it! I hate knowing that the band moms talk about me, my mom talks about me, my friends parents talk about me. And whoever else. Yeah, sometimes I may act slutty but that's not really how I am. And yeah I talk about sex but I'm a virgin. And I'm sure that comes as a shock to some people. And also my mom. She says "Well.. I don't know what went on but..." And I know she talks about me to people because I have heard her. And it's really embarassing.
It just really irritates me that I am still having to deal with some stuff. And people saying stuff and they think it's not a big deal but it really is. And all these parents looking down on me because they think they know me. And they think they know what goes on. And they think they know how I am.
Like that I'm "fast" yeah. ok. shut the fuck up.
I have been through so much more than almost everyone knows. And that's why I am how I am now. It's not because I'm a slut. It's because of what I got used to.
So many guys in the past have treated me like shit. And the ones who don't stressed too much on how "beautiful" I am. I HATE THAT. It's ok once in a while. But not all the time. And I hate when I get told I'm perfect. And I'm an angel. It seriously bugs the hell outta me. And that's another thing. A lot of people think I like hearing that.. no. And I don't like hearing constantly you're prettier than me. They like you better. It makes me feel like shit.
Lately my sister has been calling me concided. She tells me she's kidding but I know she's not. She thinks that I'm in love with myself. And I'm sure other people do too. And she started saying that because I said I liked how something looked on me. oh heaven forbid I say something good about myself. I'd rather say good things then be all depressed and emo and say stuff like I want to die. I hate my self.
That's really all.. I've just been thinking about all of that the past few weeks and I've finally had time to sit and type it all out. Now maybe I'll stp thinking about it.
I can't take anymore of this. I wanna come apart. and dig myself a little hole inside your precious heart.
I wish that some people understood how much it really hurts me. I've had to deal with rumors since I was in 8th grade. It may not seem that bad, but it is. And I'm so sick of it! I hate knowing that the band moms talk about me, my mom talks about me, my friends parents talk about me. And whoever else. Yeah, sometimes I may act slutty but that's not really how I am. And yeah I talk about sex but I'm a virgin. And I'm sure that comes as a shock to some people. And also my mom. She says "Well.. I don't know what went on but..." And I know she talks about me to people because I have heard her. And it's really embarassing.
It just really irritates me that I am still having to deal with some stuff. And people saying stuff and they think it's not a big deal but it really is. And all these parents looking down on me because they think they know me. And they think they know what goes on. And they think they know how I am.
Like that I'm "fast" yeah. ok. shut the fuck up.
I have been through so much more than almost everyone knows. And that's why I am how I am now. It's not because I'm a slut. It's because of what I got used to.
So many guys in the past have treated me like shit. And the ones who don't stressed too much on how "beautiful" I am. I HATE THAT. It's ok once in a while. But not all the time. And I hate when I get told I'm perfect. And I'm an angel. It seriously bugs the hell outta me. And that's another thing. A lot of people think I like hearing that.. no. And I don't like hearing constantly you're prettier than me. They like you better. It makes me feel like shit.
Lately my sister has been calling me concided. She tells me she's kidding but I know she's not. She thinks that I'm in love with myself. And I'm sure other people do too. And she started saying that because I said I liked how something looked on me. oh heaven forbid I say something good about myself. I'd rather say good things then be all depressed and emo and say stuff like I want to die. I hate my self.
That's really all.. I've just been thinking about all of that the past few weeks and I've finally had time to sit and type it all out. Now maybe I'll stp thinking about it.
I can't take anymore of this. I wanna come apart. and dig myself a little hole inside your precious heart.