(no subject)
When I was in Kuwait, the lot of us that were working in the admin area of the hospital got used to referring to our time spent there as "Groundhog Day." You know, that movie with the weatherman who gets trapped living the same day over and over again? That was the first time I was truly aware of how one can get stuck in a moment, though it didn't really have the same impact on me that recent time has had.
Back then, I could excuse it because of the War, this moment that had to be taken out of my life and be used for some greater good. Not that the War is a greater good, but helping the soldiers was. There was still meaning to that time that I sacrificed.
I'm in Chicago now. I have a job in the receiving department of a high-end retail store. I climb shelves and organize stacks and receive and transfer shipment. Everyone I work with is really nice, but I feel like they're stuck there with me. Because, this IS "Groundhog Day." Everyday is the same as the one before. And I've realized that any job I have is going to be like this. Just an endless cycle of nothing. The only thing that sets it apart from the time I spent in Kuwait is who I was helping.
I help 30 to 40-something women purchase clothes for themselves and their little yappy dogs. These are women who are probably just as miserable as I am, but don't know it because they layer the longings of their souls in cashmere and silk and fashion jewelry until they can't feel the tugging anymore.
They cry, "I'm happy! Look at how much stuff I have!"
We're all stuck. Stuck stuck stuck.
I've never felt more like a prole than I do now.
How...does one break out of this? How do people survive, living this way?
Back then, I could excuse it because of the War, this moment that had to be taken out of my life and be used for some greater good. Not that the War is a greater good, but helping the soldiers was. There was still meaning to that time that I sacrificed.
I'm in Chicago now. I have a job in the receiving department of a high-end retail store. I climb shelves and organize stacks and receive and transfer shipment. Everyone I work with is really nice, but I feel like they're stuck there with me. Because, this IS "Groundhog Day." Everyday is the same as the one before. And I've realized that any job I have is going to be like this. Just an endless cycle of nothing. The only thing that sets it apart from the time I spent in Kuwait is who I was helping.
I help 30 to 40-something women purchase clothes for themselves and their little yappy dogs. These are women who are probably just as miserable as I am, but don't know it because they layer the longings of their souls in cashmere and silk and fashion jewelry until they can't feel the tugging anymore.
They cry, "I'm happy! Look at how much stuff I have!"
We're all stuck. Stuck stuck stuck.
I've never felt more like a prole than I do now.
How...does one break out of this? How do people survive, living this way?