but my my my it's a beautiful world...
I think I spend a lot of time thinking about regrets and 'what ifs'. I tend to admire people who make big leaps and take a lot of chances. I find it really hard to do the unexpected or the unplanned.
I'm way to practical and I hate that about myself. I want to be more spontaneous and more outgoing.
I think I can be...but I worry far too much of what is expected of me and what people think. I'm kind of a hypocrite in that way...i tell my students all the time to be proud of themselves and to take ownership of their decisions no matter the outcome...there's always a lesson to be learned...but for some reason I fail to take my own affirmations seriously. I sell myself short a lot....alot alot. I really need to start seeing my own self worth and stop judging myself...maybe then I won't feel so crappy about my own decisions.
So here is my almost mid resolution- I will do what I want to do. I will make decisions based on what I want and what I need at that point in time. I will let go of my need for acceptance and the pressure I feel from my parents and friends to be perfect (because most of the time....they don't really care) Perfection is objective. I think the most imperfect people in the world are amazing....so why should it be different for me....I want to be so far from normal.
I think I'm on the right track. no timelines or charts necessary.
if only it were this easy....but...I'm willing to work on it. starting this weekend...I'm just going to go with my gut.
I bought a summerfest ticket....and I'm going....settled and done. next week rohry comes...this will be a test...