Rob Thurman almost owns me
So, one of the reasons I like Rob Thurman's books so much is that she's not afraid to mock her characters for the extreme level of angst she puts them through, and they aren't afraid to mock themselves. I mean, really, in a sane world, Cal would have killed himself just to escape his angst, and if he didn't, Nico would have done it just to put them both out of their misery.
Today and yesterday, at her lj(
robgoodfella) she's posted list for why this HASN'T happened, and I'm shamelessly crossposting the lists. Because they're great.
Cal's List
Cal's list of reasons not to brood and/or kill self:
1. find out where Robin gets all the Prozac he keeps sprinkling in my morning cereal
2. write to Dr. Phil and find out if they take moody, genetic freak monster half breeds with mommy issues on the show...and if so, does it pay anything?
3.decide once and all between boxers and briefs
4. ask Delilah to please let you wear underwear again as its beginning to chafe.
5. keep dosing Niko's soy milk with pure cane sugar and ground coffee. It seems to make him less homicidal
6. when Robin knocks at the door and says Orgy-to-Go, believe him and lock the door. Then climb out the window, down the fire escape and run for your life.
7. figure out how I can be Greek, Rom, and Auphe and still can't understand a single cab driver in this city.
8. find out if Goodfellow perms or that's natural, because if that's a perm...shit he's got a good stylist.
9. would I look more brooding with a streak of silver in my hair ? (note to self: ask Robin's stylist)
10. get some sort of pepper spray to keep the goth/emo kids from following me down the street 24/7. It's starting to freak me out.
11. Get Niko to stop calling my underwear underoos when it's his turn to do the laundry.
12. Start cleaning old food out of the refrigerator before the mold gets a chokehold on you (like last time.)
13. Never ask your brother's vampire girlfriend if she's glad to see you or that's just an overbite.
14. never leave explosive rounds on top of the stove while cooking a pizza...
15, SHIT!
Nico's List of Daily Mantras:
1. Do not kill Cal
2. Do not kill Cal humanely
3. Do not kill Cal inhumanely
4. Do not kill Cal for writing Super Sexy Boogeyman Slayer on your carrying case for class
5. Find out where this new brand of soy milk comes from. it's quite flavorful.
6. Stop doing Cal's underwear on laundry day. The wolf fur is clogging up the dryer
7. Do not, repeat, do not ask Cal why he has a box of silver tinted hair dye under the sink in the bathroom
8. Tell Dr. Phil to stop calling
9. Tell Cal to please start wearing underwear again as he is becoming increasingly bowlegged.
10. Find out why Goodfellow smells like a perm.
11. Also find out why Cal is so frequently running down the street chased by teenagers dressed all in black.
12. Remind Cal not to leave his explosive rounds on the stove. It is ridiculously dangerous and...
Also? I adore this icon:
Today and yesterday, at her lj(
robgoodfella) she's posted list for why this HASN'T happened, and I'm shamelessly crossposting the lists. Because they're great.
Cal's List
Cal's list of reasons not to brood and/or kill self:
1. find out where Robin gets all the Prozac he keeps sprinkling in my morning cereal
2. write to Dr. Phil and find out if they take moody, genetic freak monster half breeds with mommy issues on the show...and if so, does it pay anything?
3.decide once and all between boxers and briefs
4. ask Delilah to please let you wear underwear again as its beginning to chafe.
5. keep dosing Niko's soy milk with pure cane sugar and ground coffee. It seems to make him less homicidal
6. when Robin knocks at the door and says Orgy-to-Go, believe him and lock the door. Then climb out the window, down the fire escape and run for your life.
7. figure out how I can be Greek, Rom, and Auphe and still can't understand a single cab driver in this city.
8. find out if Goodfellow perms or that's natural, because if that's a perm...shit he's got a good stylist.
9. would I look more brooding with a streak of silver in my hair ? (note to self: ask Robin's stylist)
10. get some sort of pepper spray to keep the goth/emo kids from following me down the street 24/7. It's starting to freak me out.
11. Get Niko to stop calling my underwear underoos when it's his turn to do the laundry.
12. Start cleaning old food out of the refrigerator before the mold gets a chokehold on you (like last time.)
13. Never ask your brother's vampire girlfriend if she's glad to see you or that's just an overbite.
14. never leave explosive rounds on top of the stove while cooking a pizza...
15, SHIT!
Nico's List of Daily Mantras:
1. Do not kill Cal
2. Do not kill Cal humanely
3. Do not kill Cal inhumanely
4. Do not kill Cal for writing Super Sexy Boogeyman Slayer on your carrying case for class
5. Find out where this new brand of soy milk comes from. it's quite flavorful.
6. Stop doing Cal's underwear on laundry day. The wolf fur is clogging up the dryer
7. Do not, repeat, do not ask Cal why he has a box of silver tinted hair dye under the sink in the bathroom
8. Tell Dr. Phil to stop calling
9. Tell Cal to please start wearing underwear again as he is becoming increasingly bowlegged.
10. Find out why Goodfellow smells like a perm.
11. Also find out why Cal is so frequently running down the street chased by teenagers dressed all in black.
12. Remind Cal not to leave his explosive rounds on the stove. It is ridiculously dangerous and...
Also? I adore this icon: