Your love makes me forget what I've been...

[megan_s05]

I had all I'd ever need...and I messed it up. All I can do now is pray that I didn't cause so much pain to someone that I love that they can never be with me again. I just want things to be okay, I hate myself for everything that's gone on. I'm stupid. If I had just listened to what he said...I'd be fine right now. Well there's no doubt about it, I'll never screw up like that again. No WAY. I hurt myself too much in the process of being foolish I can't eat...I cry a lot...and I'd much rather just die, cuz I know I'd be better off. All I can really do right now is pray. Yesterday was a tough day for me, but I got thru it. I saw the guy I was sposed to help with his math and I met him and another girl from class in the library and showed him what he did wrong. I hope that helped him out, I also let him borrow my calculator cuz he was gonna take a test without one...crazy. I saw him after takin his test cuz I went to meet up with Brenda at Papa Joe's and let her get a salad and got my calculator back. He said it helped so I guess we'll find out later if I helped him out enough. One of the girls from my Statistics class messaged me today and it was really sweet. Made me feel a lil better. I've been texting Julz back and forth since yesterday...I need to call her sometime I miss her like crazy.

God give me strength to make things right again. Allow me another chance to prove myself worthy of love. I promise to take all these things that you've given me and use them to glorify you. I will never again allow myself to stray that far from you...not anymore. I love you and you will always be my Yahweh. You are truly the only thing that holds me together, that allows me to be strong in the tough times, and loves me unconditionally. I love you with all my heart. I praise you with all my soul and might. Your will be done in everything...in Jesus name...Amen.

God bless you all...