It's too fucking late.
It's 2:12am. I just got back, and I'm probably not in the best condition to be writing this. It's sad. Situations change, and the people you once relied on are no longer around. You can't even get in touch with them in the middle of the night, outside your dorm, standing in the snow in your pajamas, coat, and boots. Why do things have to change so rapidly? Two years ago when I called he would answer. Every time. Then I knew his correct cell phone number. It's awful that I don't now. It seems like we should be able to build on what we have, not have to discard and renew all the time. I have friends now that I didn't have back then. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Why don't I still have him? We should be able to accumulate friends, not recycle them.
I disgust myself. Daily. Fuck.
I disgust myself. Daily. Fuck.